How typical is this?
Posted Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:03 PM
If that happens to you as a woman do you understand or is that a major bummer?
Posted Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:28 PM
My wife and I both passed last night on sex. Been a long ass week and we both knew that our hearts would not be 100% into it, so we decided to go to sleep instead. Do not sweat it, if it continues, then worry. But for now, if it was this one time thing, just get back on the saddle and show her a rocking good time.
Posted Sat Jan 05, 2013 01:46 PM
That night I was simply too tired. However other nights is psychological. By the time I got divorced I was on anti-anxiety meds that messed with my ability to get erections but mostly to cum. The only way I could cum was to watch porn, really get worked up, and even then it could take 20+ minutes. Since then I have gotten on better meds and usually have no problems masturbating. Sometimes I'm a little soft but usually pretty hard. The first few times though I had sex with my gf I could not cum. Partly it was performance anxiety and partly it was not being used to the real thing. When you watch porn you get that "voyeur view" with different camera angles, close-ups, etc. During real sex you are not seeing all that. Depending on the position you're in you may not even see your cock and her pussy. So it's more feel and mentally what is going on. Porn is so visual that it's hard for real sex to compete unless you have a partner willing to do things to make it more visually stimulating.
We often (thought not always) go from foreplay to me going down on her. We both love it but during the time I am doing that for her I often go soft. After she's orgasmed once or twice then it's "my turn" and sometimes I have a hard time getting aroused again and getting hard. We have tried going straight from foreplay to intercourse and that does work better for me but it's nice to have some variety. Ultimately I think it's going to come down to how patient and supportive she's willing to be. If she can help me stay relaxed and not feel there are expectations and be willing to try some different things and *be regular* about having sex then I think in time I'll be fine. When you only have sex once every month of two though that is not frequent enough for me to get in a groove plus my libido does not allow me to wait that long to get off so I end up doing solo sex which just reinforces that that is like...
Posted Sat Jan 05, 2013 01:57 PM
Posted Sat Jan 05, 2013 02:04 PM
Posted Sat Jan 05, 2013 04:39 PM
I agree and am!