Why You Need To Tell Your SO Your SF
Posted Sat Jan 12, 2013 08:37 PM
So i told him..... EVERYTHING. i told him how i had felt judged. I told him he was mistaken, that SF is not all about hooking up or one big orgy. I have friends here. People who know alot about me and still accept me, they give me advice when I am being stubborn, give me outlooks, and ive learned alot from you guys. You have boosted my confidence with your acceptance, but then came the bad part. he asked about a visit id had with someone from this site last year. because judging from the comments it looked like something happened between us. I had to set the record straight and all of you here know what happened and that it was strictly platonic. I told him how I had cammed with certain people from here on skype, and even played on cam. My heart broke when he reached for the watch I gave him and my key around his neck and gave them back before he stormed out of my room. I thought I had lost him for good right there but after I dont even know how long I pleaded with him to just hear me out and he did. He also brought up emails I had, n which another member and myself had been writing out a "sequel type scenario" for my blog. It was awful, no matter which way I put it, it was betrayal. All of this could have been avoided had I just been honest to begin with. And im sure there are going to be some thinking to themselves, WHY WOULD U TELL HIM THAT????!!!!! but I had to come clean: plain and simple he told me he knew it all and that if I left out anything and tried to hide it, then he would leave end of story, Being honest was the only thing that saved my relationship.
Im writing this because I know you will be honest with me. And to prevent someone from making the same mistake I did. If anything you guys know how much I love him, I always talk about him. He is the one I see myself with, hes the best thing thats ever happened to me. & it hurts to know that I hurt him. I regret the hell out of it and im just sorry for what i did to him. & Unfortunately, I have broken the trust and im scared as hell that it may never be the same. But it would be what I deserve. I do know that I will work like hell to get it back though. So....... we havent really discussed my account and whether I will be keeping it but i am however hoping I can get him on here to show him how great ya'll are. Whats your opinion?
Posted Sat Jan 12, 2013 08:53 PM
Posted Sat Jan 12, 2013 09:40 PM
I hope you can mend whatever damage occurred with your man.
Posted Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:25 PM
We can understand His panic, etc, but if you can show him the softer cooler side of SF, i.e. couples and cool people in regular chat it may help.
SF has been a great time for us both as a couple.
Posted Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:42 PM
Btw, I forgot to tell that I have a sister here that signed up to see how the site is or perhaps to monitor on me. (yay, that's how they love me a lot... hehehe)
They still can't take it but gave their trust on me... and so far, I am behaving for 7 months now (lol).
Hope everything goes well your side. Give him time and hoping here that one day, you'll get him to come on here, too.
Posted Sun Jan 13, 2013 03:45 AM
Posted Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:14 AM
Posted Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:22 AM
last year i showed a friend the site, and instantly said to me, oh its a dating sex site, so you wanna fuck people...well i laughed at her, cause yeah it could see that to people who dont know about sf.
i agree with boca, he needs to see it aint about hooking up and see the cooler side so to speak.
good luck hun. hope he sees that you love him so much and he sees theres more to sf, than sex.
Posted Mon Jan 14, 2013 04:25 AM
Posted Tue Jan 15, 2013 12:43 AM
This place is great and I hope he realizes that, even if it's not his bag. It advertises itself as a "24/7 sex party" but it's a wonderful community and it's not about hooking up at all.
Posted Tue Jan 15, 2013 02:12 AM
I signed up here because i saw the community behind all the obvious pics and topics, but saw really neat and awesome people here - waves at all the people -
I am still knew her, and if by chance he does happen to read this replies, I will have to say that if my girlfriend was on this site and took part in things. I wouldn't have anything to worry about ^.^ just nice to have a place here to kick back relax and just speak your mind and so much more !
But really will be holding my thumbs for you! for things to get back on track again! ALWAYS BE HONEST great and impossible things can happen due to just being honest even when we are in that panick mode worrying about how it can turn out in the worst way possible :/
But good luck Curves Keep us posted!
We can send him a care basket? ! who's with me?
Posted Tue Jan 15, 2013 07:22 PM
Posted Wed Jan 16, 2013 08:58 AM
I try to be honest with my man, his ex wasn't truthful in their marriage and its actually bitten me in the ass. He is used to a fake, lying, pleaser who cheated and did horrible things behind his back but he always "saw" her as an angel. Me, on the other hand, miss tell him everything, even the real bad stuff (cuz I love and respect him dearly) I am a monster to him at times. Kills me, I hope one day he finally realizes the value in honesty and how hard it is to put your ugly secrets and bad deeds out there to the one you love the most. But if you love and respect your partner, then you will WANT to be honest and just hope they love you enough in return to accept you and love you for who you ARE, rather than love you for who you AREN"T.
Posted Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:34 AM
The girl I am with knows about SF and has known about it since about a month after I confessed my love to her back in July (we've known each other for about 2 years and were (still are) great friends). I showed her my profile, told her what it's about, why I signed up, what has happened and what I do these days. There were some comments she didn't like amongst a few other things, but overall she gets that this is just a community and that my initial reasons of signing here are loooooong gone. I mainly post music, funny clips/pics and RARELY play in the games or come to the chat.
The reason I told her about the place was just because I felt it was the only fair thing to do, and that it's better she knew that quick then find out months later. She still has the link to my profile and can check out whatever I do on here if she has the need for it. I often tell her about my new blogs featuring music myself as we both love music, and she'll have a look to what I have posted then. So I am fortunate with her understanding and her open mindness about it all, and there are no issues with me posting on here at all.
Posted Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:40 PM
And there was the flirting, exchanging emails, etc. That's pretty heavy stuff to keep hidden from a partner.
In general, I'm pretty forgiving, but forgive a lie is one thing and trust the person again is totally different.
None of us is perfect and we all do things we regret. We learn and move on. But people around us may be genuinely hurt and even when they want to forgive/forget/trust, they're just not able to overcome all things.
If I was in his place, I'd forgive in an eye blink, but I wouldn't trust you again. Mainly because you only came clean when you had no options, because he found the pictures in your laptop (he was wrong, too, by snooping in your stuff).
I'm just saying this, because I'd like to remind you that the same human weakness that makes us lie is the culprit in making us unable to trust again when we're lied to. He may love you and all, and desperately want to trust you again and all, but perhaps he'll just be unable to, try as he might. And it isn't because he's mean, or lacks love for you. It's just that trust, once you lose it, it's very difficult to mend. It's one of these things that makes us humans, one of our weaknesses.
It's that Chinese proverb about the broken vase. You may glue the pieces, but it'll always be a broken vase.
To me, I wouldn't mind the man omitting anything, if he wanted to keep things private. I can live with that. The problem is the lie, and the fact the person only came clean when caught in a situation the lie was in the open.
One can lie to strangers, but not to the man one loves.
Posted Wed May 01, 2013 07:25 PM
Posted Thu May 02, 2013 11:13 AM