Advice husband wearing panties.
Posted Fri Aug 16, 2013 08:55 PM
I need some feedback and thought I would post here and ask
Here is my situation:
I had a baby 8 months ago, up until then our sex life was great, the last few months it has been horrible, im not the same and need a bit more time spent on me to get ready, and he has even gone as far as say he cant be bothered spending that time on me and rolling over and going to sleep.
The last few weeks he has pushed me away, I have done everything I can think of and the only time he sleeps with me is when he cant hold out - then it is just in and out, he gets off and thats that. I cant remember the last time i had an orgasm.
When we first met he told me he had a thing for womans underwear. That he is over it now and nothing to worry about.
I found a pair of panties beside his bed the other day, confronted him and he told me he didnt know how they got there... I asked was he cheating on me and he said no, i asked if he was wearing them again and he said no, he wasnt into that and he really didnt know how they got there.
I then told him he had 30 mins to tell me what the hell was going on or i was walking out.
He finally came and told me he has been getting them himself, and that he sometimes wears them and he was so sorry.
I was furious that he lied to me.
I have now realised why he did it and how hard it must have been to have kept it from me and how ashamed he felt.
I told him that he had no need to be ashamed, that thats part of who he is, and if he feels he wants help to stop, then i will help him, but I dont have a problem with it and I am happy for him to keep doing what he does.
Since then he hasnt touched me. He has pushed me away every time i have tired to start something, he tells me he cant sleep with me while the baby is awake (never been an issue) and has also told me he rather watch TV
I asked was it because i still havent lost all my baby weight and he keeps saying no, but i just dont know what it is.
has anyone been in this situation? I really have no issue with him wearing the underwear and thought now it was out in the open things would get better
Posted Fri Aug 16, 2013 09:11 PM
Posted Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:31 PM
Posted Mon Jan 13, 2014 03:27 PM
This post has been edited by Mark Aurel: Mon Jan 13, 2014 03:33 PM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 01:48 AM
So, talking didn't solve the problem.
You could try giving him some time to see if he'll be back as he was. Perhaps he's self conscious about the fetish and even your words aren't enough.
Perhaps it is the weight you've put on and he's just not telling you.
Perhaps it's none of the above. Perhaps he's even having an affair.
You could let it sit for a moment and try to talk about other stuff, kind of airing the space between you. Then talk again, but not in a sex situation.
Pushing him is counterproductive, I suppose.
It could be hormonal (testosterone levels).
Could it be he's angry at you? Did he want the baby? Did he want to be together?
Good luck in solving the puzzle. And congratulations for the little one!
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 05:08 AM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 05:46 AM
If it is...then he just has a kinky/perverted side of him he never told you about. If you can accept that, the sex will be back in the marriage.
If that does not turn him on ravenously....then there are other mental issues on his part. he might be gay, for instance.
As far as the baby fat, etc, I know it is hard to lose weight, especially when one has other issues they are dealing with. But....hit the gym. It will make you feel better, show him you care about your appearance, and make you attractive to other men if that becomes a need.
Good luck dear. tell us what happened
This post has been edited by spud14: Tue Jan 14, 2014 05:48 AM