sex life drying up
Posted Sun Dec 29, 2013 04:04 PM
I've talked about some of this to her and she always agrees that she would like more sex, but she will never make the first move(maybe once a year)even when I told her she needs to once in awhile. I've also voiced my opinion on wanting her to go on some type of BC because wearing a condom kills a lot of the feeling. Then I have the problem of when I have the long dry spells I don't last very long and that makes me frustrated. I anticipate this everytime and make sure I give her oral/manual stimulation so at least she enjoys herself.
We would probably have sex more, but I'm starting to get stubborn and just plain don't make the effort to, hoping that she will make the first move, which she doesn't. The way I think anymore I can get the same amount of pleasure with my hand and it requires a lot less effort.
I guess in my wife's favor, our work schedules don't mix really well and most weeks we are lucky if we both have one day off together and most of the time one of use has to get up early for work(I can go on little sleep, her not so much). Plus she has put on some weight the last few years and I think that could have some affect on her too. When she's tried to use the sleep excuse I ask her when we're supposed to have sex then, because during the day she always has something going on and doesn't have time.Maybe I should be more romantic and give complements more, but I'm just not the type of person that does that, never really have been. I guess I'm just venting, but if anyone has any ideas I'm all ears.
Posted Sun Dec 29, 2013 04:16 PM
Posted Mon Dec 30, 2013 12:45 AM
Posted Mon Dec 30, 2013 09:23 AM
Posted Mon Dec 30, 2013 02:03 PM
But once a week is not ok, even for a 60 year old, in my opinion! No birth control unless you donn a condom part way thru? Is she beyond childbearing, because that is NOT a safe form of birth control. Even if you wore a condom thru the entire event, that is only 98% effective! Do you really want another kid at this point?
Sounds like her hormones are gone, either thru the time clock, or due to some stress factor in her life. She could try hormone supplements. That would probably make her horny as a teenager on prom night again.
Maybe she is just bored with "normal" sex. Ever talk to her about sharing with other couples? Ever try any kinky role play or light bondage? I would experiment around and see if anything at all is of interest to her, and if you find it, pursue that.
Posted Mon Dec 30, 2013 02:32 PM
But once a week is not ok, even for a 60 year old, in my opinion! No birth control unless you donn a condom part way thru? Is she beyond childbearing,
depends on people and situations too. If I'm involved in a project sex is the last thing on my mind and its hard to flip the switch. Worry/stress will kill your sex drive. Boredom can do it too... although I get horny when I'm bored lol.
If you're done with kids, one of you can snip a tube. When I was that age I was pissed off at her for a lot of things - nothing meaningful when I look back at it, but it did affect things. She had a couple times like that with me too. I never badgered her but she did to me once and I went into a "fuck off" mind set and didn't care if I ever had sex again. All things pass, keep the relationship alive in the meantime.
Posted Wed Jan 01, 2014 05:11 AM
It's a fact of most relationships that sex gets less frequent after time together. It's a spiral. As to what is "enough", don't listen to anyone boasting about how often they do it. They're probably lying anyway.
It's a problem if you really believe it's a problem. If your relationship can function with less sex, then it's not a problem. The two of you really just need to talk about it.