Are you friends with an ex?
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 01:28 AM
I said 'nah'
For me the obvious that it would not be fair for any future relationship.
Also it would be weird for me. Why? Because I am so damn affectionate and compassionate that it would be so awkward for her to cope with a downgrade. The most I could give any ex would be an aquintance. As a partner I send good morning text. I kiss. I give full hugs. I give my undivided attention. I show random acts of kindness. I look deeply into her eyes. Always holding hands and cuddling.
Lol to my female friends, I treat them like friends lol. Like if they were my boys lol. Half hugs. Take long to respond to text. Multi task not giving undivided attention. I am still an amazing friend to my girls. But it is 10x magnified when I'm also the lover.
Shoot I have female friends that text me upset because I have been missing and action. Asking me if they still consider me a friend. Or why I'm so distant...and they have never experienced me as a lover.
I am like a pleaser, a change when I go from friend to friend and lover. She gets privelidges my home girls don't get. And sometimes they don't like that.
For that reason, I couldn't be friends with an ex....unless if she had amnesia. She would miss me hard. It would be weird for me. You are an ex. In my past. Stay there.
It's like the song "can't be friends" by Trey Songz
But that's me
What about you?
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Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 01:32 AM
My ex-SO stays with us when he comes to Belgium. The sex is fantastic, but so is the friendship.
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 08:52 AM
So it had to end, I still miss his friendship daily and will probably always have a sad feeling about it.
But in theory I could see myself staying friends, really depends on the reason why we broke up though .
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 09:01 AM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 07:08 PM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 07:34 PM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 07:37 PM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 08:53 PM
Posted Tue Jan 14, 2014 08:59 PM
i agree with this. in my experience it just prolongs the breakup and makes thing even more messy.
Posted Wed Jan 15, 2014 09:12 PM
Posted Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:57 AM
It all depends on how and why you have broke up with them. If, as it was the case with some of mine, one day you both realize that what you have has run its course and is going nowhere, you part your ways with out any bad emotions and stay friends with them. Some times things don't work out so well, and some of those fall into "hell-no" category.
I don't really understand those who say that you should not stay friends with your exes. Why shouldn't you? In a way I find this kind of attitude unfair and to a certain extent hypocritical. Being friends and lovers with someone means that's quality person who has a lot in common with you. So one day when you part your ways you will strike that person out of your life just like that? When you have a new SO do you stop being friends with the rest of your friends? I don't think you do. So why your ex would be any different. If you are not having sex with and treat them just like the rest of your friends, what's the problem? As far as I can see the problem might be with your new SO, not with the old one. If your new SO is against you being friends with your ex isn't this because he/she is possessive, insecure, whatnot?
alien's situation shows that people can be friends (and more!) with their exes.
Posted Thu Jan 16, 2014 01:15 AM
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Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 01:26 AM
Posted Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:26 AM
Posted Sat Jan 25, 2014 10:21 AM
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Posted Sun Jan 26, 2014 01:32 PM
Posted Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:39 AM
I guess it's different because we were long distance, so when we broke up there was no awkward running into each other in the supermarket or anything. Plus he got a new gf soon after we broke up so I didn't want to be constantly in contact with him in case his new gf was put off.
But overall, things are good between us. I guess it often depends on the context of the break up!
Posted Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:49 AM
I would say that you have to do some self-reflection and decide whether any residual feelings remain and if that is going to have a bearing on current or future relationships and act accordingly. You also have to consider the feelings of your current SO and whether or not they can handle the situation and you may have to make a choice and give one of them up.
Posted Mon Feb 24, 2014 01:57 PM