No sex with wife
Posted Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:49 PM
Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:03 AM
Are there issues that get to her? Are you complementing her? Being there emotionally?
If you think you might get it somewhere else. Tell her. Or just say "you know they say, if he's not getting at home, he's getting it somewhere else"
You NEED to tell her or imply that you are getting it elsewhere.
But also consider..that the problem may not be her...but you.
But still women should know men need sex..smh.
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Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:24 AM
I'm in the same boat, the only difference is that I WANT IT and I'm NOT getting IT. It's been along time also. He tells me its not the most important part of a relationship and that his medicine's are contributing to his lack of. Okay I understand about the medicine, BUT talk to your doctor.
I miss feeling sexy, beautiful, wanted etc....
I'm not sure what to do to either. Maybe I will try the if not getting any at home :/
Sorry I'm no help but I just had to say that its not just men that aren't having sex.
Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 01:13 AM
Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 01:42 AM
However...If my girl was never in the mood and only gave me sex because i Wanted it, I would not feel comfortable. I would feel like its . I would want her to want me as I want her.
I would end it.
I would tell her. I want her. But she does not want me. And what she is doing is punishing me. And ....she needs to give you dome or expect u to get it elsewhere.
You guys have to make it known that is a possibility... Somehow..and why it might be a possibility.
To say oh sex is not an important part is stupid.
Just as emotion is important. Both physical is important.
Talk about what could happen. And seek a doctor or councilor
And never stop complimenting and trying to intimate it. Dont give up. That the worst you can do
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Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 03:22 AM
I find it totally unreasonable for a person in a long term relationship who doesn't want sex to force that decision upon the other partner. If I was in an exclusive relationship with a man and he decided he didn't want sex, he'd be informed I'd have sex with other people and given a few weeks to decide if he preferred a divorce. If he decided for a divorce, we could get one in a matter of weeks, and I'd wait that time to start fucking around.
One can divorce in 3 months, here in Belgium, no lawyers involved. I'm pretty sure that if I really wanted to, I could go that long without sex.
If he so wished, we could resume his choice of a platonic relationship after divorce, knowing I was living my sexual life as I pleased.
This theme comes about so often (people into sexless marriages) I don't know why you, guys, dont discuss it before marriage. I also think people only dare to propose celibacy to partners, because they're validated in their unreasonable behavior.
I'm not saying a partner who doesn't want sex should do it anyway. I'm just saying nobody has the right to impose that and expect the other not to have sex elsewhere.
I also don't think the offended partner should have to hide it. The mistake is from the denying part and if the offended partner cheats in secrecy, he/she is validating the unreasonable behavior of the other.
Therefore I'd have a conversation and explain I respect his decision to go without sex, but that I won't do the same. And tell him he has the option of accepting and respecting my behavior, as I'm respecting his, or divorce.
I used to fuck some men in sexless marriages, always with the ok of the wives. Such arrangements aren't too uncommon here, in Flanders. Perhaps because we're atheists and more to the individualistic type. Marriage vowels aren't something we do and divorce rate is higher than marriage one. I know of many women who aren't into sex at all. But they don't expect their men to adopt the same behavior.
Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 07:12 AM
If all that just results in "you are always grabbing me" comments, then a trip to a doctor is in order See if her hormones are out of whack, or some other medical problem exists (drug interactions, etc).
If you tried all that, and that might take 3 months or so to see any results....then it is time for "the talk"
Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:25 AM
Statements like this one I could understand if they were coming from someone in their 60s but not at all from someone in their 30s. Back when I was that age I would literally fuck everything that moves and has a pulse ... as often and as long as I could. Just saying.
Saying marriage is fine but sexless is pretty much like saying this is a damn fine restaurant, shame it never has any guests. Who is there to blame, restaurant or guests?
Solid advice, alien ... +1
Posted Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:39 AM
If so what happened, that wedding band = no sex?
Go see a doctor or sex therapist etc.
However If you didnt have sex before, why did you get married, you knew there was no sex, n if its such a big deal well you made your bed now lie in it.
Posted Sun Feb 02, 2014 07:06 AM
Posted Sun Feb 02, 2014 09:33 AM
Posted Tue Feb 04, 2014 12:20 PM
Posted Tue Feb 04, 2014 01:10 PM
Posted Tue Feb 04, 2014 01:12 PM
Posted Tue Feb 11, 2014 08:45 PM
Posted Wed Feb 12, 2014 08:10 AM
Posted Wed Feb 12, 2014 09:43 AM
In the first post of this thread, I think you've told us you haven't felt desire for her since the wedding day. And you guys don't have sex... I mean, not much. She doesn't feel like and neither do you.
And now you two will bring a child into this marriage.
Young folks who have a platonic relationship. You were saying in the first post that you didn't know if, given the opportunity to cheat on her while away, you didn't know if you'd turn it down...
Is it really a relationship good enough to bring a child into? I always thought people should build a loving home, emotional and financial stability, all good, THEN have a baby (in case both parts wanted a child).
Sure, things can always go bad after a child and one has to deal with it. But when you already know the relationship has issues, is it wise to subject an innocent child to it?
And the sex is more likely to completely disappear after the child is there, not the other way around, if one takes statistics as an indicator... I hope you two have what it takes to make a child happy even though both of you are unhappy.
This post has been edited by alien2: Wed Feb 12, 2014 09:47 AM
Posted Thu Feb 13, 2014 06:12 AM