So starting at the beginning, with masturbation as a kid, I simply thought it was like this for all boys. Nothing felt good just like being hungry or needing a piss, just something you had to 'deal with' most days. After ejaculation I would feel a bit sad/stupid but I read that is normal and has some French sounding name. So that was all the sexual contact I had from around until about 20 or so.
First kiss, I had expectations of it being something that fills one with tingles or something, at least. Nope was exactly the same as kissing a wall. Since then even with my now wife, kissing is no more or less pleasurable than kissing our cat or a table or whatever.
Oral sex again, no pleasurable sensations. I get erections before and during, and can even ejaculate most times after she does her thing. She has a lot of pleasure from this and can't keep her moans to herself, which I do enjoy. Still no physical sensations.
PIV again, she enjoys it greatly and I am able to maintain erection and please her. While my duration is hardly porn-star ish, we do manage 10-15 minutes or so much to her enjoyment. She orgasms easily and often from vaginal sex, more so than clitoral. I once again enjoy her pleasure and orgasm but have very little sensation at all while inside her. While useless describing penis size online due to 'inflation', I am sizable and she is a petite young woman barely 5ft tall, to my almost 6ft. We have tried anal (her fantasy/request) but the size difference is just too much to be safe.
So "orgasm" aka ejaculation is no more fun or pleasurable than having a piss, in fact often less so, at least pissing can feel nicely relieving. I would say that while I ejaculate, I have never orgasmed. (Except maybe once in my sleep at the age of , with no ejaculation. This is the only time I remember feeling "nice".)
So, in summary I feel decidedly less sensation than any man either of us are aware of. PIV/oral especially little sensation, some more from her hands on shaft. No physical tingles, pleasure, fun, anything along these lines. I have "tried" being bisexual but I really can't, I am straight. We've tried taking different roles, even male penetration but nothing at all feels anything at all. Even my GP (doctor) is completely without any ideas. He says it sounds like what a normal person might experience if having sex while entirely exhausted but this is all the time for me, for my entire life. Relationship is very strong, we are good communicators and are coping as well as anyone could. My childhood was happy, privileged and loved. There is no chance I was in any way abused, sexually or otherwise.
The only thing I have managed to find online is the word "Sexual Anhedonia", also known as pleasure dissociative orgasmic disorder. Mentioned this to GP, did bloods, all normal levels. Not depressed, the opposite in fact. Reading about this online leads to a forum where no one has a solution except the odd people saying random shit "cures" them for a while, sometimes, a little bit. Nothing but placebo.
I am 100% lost and without hope. I don't want to go through my entire life never experiencing what most people say is one of the best, if the not THE best, experience in the world. If anyone had any ideas, any hope or any suggestion of anything I could research or do, please, please would you share it with me?
Thank you to anyone who reads this, thank you from my heart.
This post has been edited by gonewild: Fri Apr 18, 2014 08:19 AM
Reason for edit:: underage references removed by Mod