we're young, and boring
Posted Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:43 AM
I just want to know how to spice things up, but with baby-steps. I think he'd be a little off-put if all of a sudden I suggested anything fetish-y, since we mostly stick to about 5 basic positions. I just want to add some new little stuff to our sexlife--- some new but not too drastic positions, some sort of subtle dirty talk (I feel kind of dumb talking dirty, but if I just mention how big he feels inside of me, he'll pretty much cum on the spot), new foreplay techniques... little somethings I can do to make a big difference.
Some things to mention:
-The positions we do regularly are different variations of missionary, girl on top, him taking me from behind while I'm flat on my stomach, him taking me from behind while I'm bent over the bed, a sort of twisted spooning...
-We both rock at oral sex. We both just have very solid, smooth technique--- and the orgasms are a plenty when we give each other head. I'd like to add something extra to it if I could... about as adventurous as I get is licking his balls.
-He has yet to make me come from penetration, but he really, really wants to and gets closer every time. I've never come whilst being penetrated--- by anyone ever, including myself. I would like for this to change.
-I tend to have a hard time staying wet, and he has trouble keeping a boner after he's shot his load once. We use lube, but it tends to be frustrating, as we have to interrupt the flow in order to lube up, and sometimes there's too much and it's like a fucking a bowl of soup. I think our lube might suck, too. What brand would you suggest buying for regular vaginal sex?
-Foreplay is great, but predictable. Hard kissing, neck kissing, caressing, dry humping, nipple-sucking, handjobs/fingering, titty-fucking, oral sex... then penetration. Just about every time, sometimes excluding a couple of those. How do we mix it up?
Posted Sat Nov 01, 2008 11:09 AM
A lot of girls cannot come from penetration alone so don't feel bad or get frustrated by that...look up positions that help him hit your gspot that should make you cum from penetration alone if it's being constantly rubbed by his cock hard. Also while having sex get him or yourself to rub your clit. I have never had a orgasm from penetration unless it's hitting my gpsot. I can have clitoral orgasms within seconds though. As for lube we use IT lube it's not to thick and goopy and just use the minimal amount you need to keep from getting that soupy feeling. Really any lube that is not a thick goop will work well if you don't use too much. Dirty talking always felt corny to me too when I first tried to do it way back...the more you do it the less weird it will feel for you...just say stuff like how good it feels and how his hard cock feels so good in your wet pussy.
Posted Sat Nov 01, 2008 01:13 PM
I know when I think about dirty talking I giggle and feel silly but dirty talking is actually amazing..!! Just when hes on top you can say how sexy he is, how big his dick is, how you love fuckin him.. And when he dirty talks to you.. It can be anywhere from saying your sexy, to calling you a dirty little bitch. =)
And another big tip, is just talk about it. I mean really.. you can be hanging out, walking in the mall, eating.. anything. And be like we need to talk.. and explain first and foremost that the sex is good so you don't kill his ego!! Then be like but dont you wanna try a little something new?? And hint at dirty talking, maybe spanking lightly until you get use to it, clit stimulation, new positions.. And the longer you've been together the more comfortable you are and the easier it is to talk about things..!! Then while your having sex tell him to pull your hair a bit, or spank you, or dirty talk to you.
Communication is the key to almost every problem!!
Then you work out the mechanics. =)
Posted Sun Nov 02, 2008 01:36 AM
eh? cum again? me thinks that perhaps this comment was made out of ignorance... no offence.. really..
Posted Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:47 PM
But still, if you want to do something new, I recommend something: whatever you choose to do, make it because it feels natural. Don't try to "act" or to do things you won't enjoy just for the sake of your partner. The problem will be the same, no matter what you try. In bed what you must focus on is in losing your inhibitions, the rest will come naturally A change of scenario is also recommended in this cases. A night on a motel or sex in the car can really spice things up.
Posted Fri Nov 14, 2008 01:05 AM
Or another thing to try may be like the post above said in a new location. Outside is a lot of fun because you never know when you might get caught. Or even try having sex with the windows open, it makes you feel good about yourself that people may want to watch you.
Posted Sat Nov 15, 2008 02:26 PM
So your right about wanting to phrase how you speak to your BF about this carefully (we are really very fragile beings when you get to know us). One of the best ways a guy can hear about "changes in bed" is when his girl plays to his ego by saying something like;
"Honey, because I love our relationship, and ESPECIALLY the great sex you give me, I have been reading some magazines to learn how I can continue to be the best lover for you that I can be, and it says that I should often throw new things in there just because they are new... Do you have anything that you want me to do to you? Because I was thinking how I have always wanted this XXX happen and thought maybe we could try that too."
Us guys are so easy to manipulate (especially if one is helping you with another!), especially when sex is at hand (or his sex is in your hand- sorry, I am getting off track). But as far as additional activities go;
As Kinky Honey said- blindfolds are a kick (let him blindfold you first- so he "has the power" the first time)
For a fun twist on oral sex, try putting a clorets or really minty mints in your mouth while performing.... the minty tingle is fun and works on men and women
If you or your BF like the blindfold, move on to a little restraining or tying up. Have him tie you up in a comfortable way, but so you cannot move without him. That kind of power play can be a huge turn on (but be sure to have a safe word that you can use if you or he wants things to stop)
As far as your orgasms go, please get comfortable rubbing your clit while he is having intercourse with you. It is SUCH a turn on for guys when their girl is comfortable enough to do that. It helps you, help us get you to orgasm, but it also REALLY turns us on to watch.
To spice things up, go for public places! You dont have to strip off all your clothes to fuck on the 50 yard line in front of everyone, but you can totally find a semi-secluded place to pull him behind a tree or a building and go down on him, or even just put your hands down his pants in a covert fashion while standing in line in public. Just you doing it will light his fire.
Sometimes one of the easiest ways to break down the uncomfortable communication barrier is to simply watch other people being adventurous, and you saying "yeah, that might be fun.. wana try?" For that reason, I love buying porn, watching it alone, and then "randomly choosing to watch one with my GF, that just happens to have that exact scene I want to do wit her." Then when it is on, and she is watching, I say "Wow. I have never thought about it before, but that really turns me on. How do you feel about trying that with me?"
The most important thing is for you to remember the faster you two can get comfortable talking with each other about what sex acts you really deep down want to try, the quicker your sex will take off. Good luck, and feel free to continue to ask for new ideas- this place is full of folks with GREAT ideas!
Posted Wed Nov 19, 2008 05:10 PM
Posted Fri Nov 21, 2008 09:04 PM
i think d durex play is a brilliant one, its a 2 in 1 massage oil so ya can hav sum fun wit it, nd afta a sexy message frm him ya mite not need lube at all!!!