Confused about MFM with my girl I can't undestand does she want it
Posted Mon Jun 16, 2014 02:31 PM
This is my first post here. First of all, I want to apologize for my bad English. It is not my native language. I know this questionwas asked so many times but my case is different. Although I read manyposts here, no one is answering my question.
I am very confused aboutthe signs that my gf give me about MFM experience. I can't understandher. I have a dream to do a MFM, or to see her with another man, butshe is not in this at all. We've been together for 8 years already.The MFM desire came 2 yrs ago. I'm not gay & have no desire toinner act with a man. First I was embarrassed to share that with her.All starts 2 yrs ago. Back there I share that with a close friend ofus. He (Andrei) liked the Idea and we decided to try. There were 2conditions. First I must be there, and second if she says no – itmeans no. Since then we used to party just 3 of us in a smallapartment or at his villa. Once after some drinks I take herblouse off, and she was standing there only with her bra. I got instanthard on while watching her standing there next to him without hertop. After an hour I quickly take off her bra. Now she was standingtopless next to him. I suggested to take a picture of them. Whiletaking that pic Andrei started to rub her tits. She didn't react atall. After that we continued to chat, while Andrei was rubbing hertits. She didn't say anything and was pretending that nothing washappening. Latter Andrei managed to convince her to take her jeans off.And there she was – standing only in her thong next to him. Again Isuggest to take a picture. He instantly grab her tits again but withhis other hand he reach down. First she didn't ract but after fewseconds she stepped aside. When she stand up I can completely seethat she was horny. Her nipples was very hard, and between her legs she was wet. We countiniued to chat with each other, but she didn't letAndrei to grab her tits again. It was already too late in the eveningso my gf wanted to sleep. When Andrei got up to go, he quickly getbehind her (she was standing-up) and reach under her thong. For thefirst 3-4 sec she didn't react, but after that pushed his hand way.
After that night I asked her several times about thatexperience. She was “That is not right. I dont want this to happenagain.” But it happened. There were more nights we were partyingtogether. Every time after some drinks, he started to massage her, standing behind her. After some time, Andrei takes her top of and startrubbing her tits. Every time she pretend that nothing was happening,just acing like normal - laughing and chatting with me. But everytime when I came close to them and start to rub her tits it takes10-15 minutes before she says stop. And put her clothes back on. I can'tunderstand her. She says that she didn't want this to happen, thatthis is not right, but every time, that we are three together she letAndrei to rub her naked tits. I can see that she gets horny, because I knowthat look, that she have when is horny. Her nipples gets hard and shegets wet down there. Very wet. Sometimes at that parties she allowsAndrei to get under her thongs and rub her there for a while. Everytime when he take her hand out of her thong it is visibly wet.
Generally she avoids that kind of parties that we areonly 3 of us. She usually tells me “I dont want to party only threeof us. You know how it ends (Andrei rubbing her tits and clit) and Idon't like it. It is not right and I don''t want this to happenagain.” But sometimes she agrees to party only 3 of us, and againand again let him very close to her. For this two years since now wemade about 20 parties like that. Every time she lets Andrei to do more.There was a party where she grabbed his dick and jerk him off. At another party she put his dick in her mouth just for a while. But shenever gets fully naked. Only topless. His dick is smaller than mine and she cantake it fully in her throat. I At another party she give him a blowjob. Once she looses a bet and on the one of our parties I told her to take her hand on the back and suck Andrei. She gave him a blowjob without using her hands. He takes advantage of the situation, grab her by the hair and start slowly fucking her in her mouth. Once even she sucks our 2 dicks at the same time. But every time at the morning she tells me the same story – “Itis not right. I dont want this to happen again....”
At the last party, about a month ago, I suggested toplay a spin the bottle game but with different rules. When the bottlepoints two of us, the third one tells them what to do. She agrees,but with one condition – without sex. At the first turn the bottlepoints at Andrei and my gf. I told her to take his jeans off, and toturn back. Andrei has to lick her legs, starting from bottom, going upto her ass, and then back down. Every time, when he reaches her ass, he rubbed her pussy with his 2 fingers. My gf removes his hand awayof her, but this was against the rules, so he starts again, and againlicking her legs and rubbing her pussy. After some time she let himto do the job and when after the game she turns back in front I canclearly see that she was so wet... After some spins of the bottle itwas time for them to do something again. I told her to remove herthong and sit on the chair with her legs wide open. She first saysno... but after some time we manage to convince her. That time shewas standing there with her legs wide open in front of Andrei. The viewwas just unbelievable. Then Andrei lick her inner part of her legs, butwhen he reaches her pussy she didn't let him to do it.
Now guys I am very confused about all her doings.First she tells me that she didn't want to..., tries to avoid thatkind of parties, but when they comes she lets Andrei to do things likethis. To rub her, to massage her. Sometimes she says no to Andrei -not to this again, but this is one of those no...
I would ask those of you who wave experience in thisto reply . And excuse me once more for my English. Thank you.
Posted Mon Jun 16, 2014 02:58 PM
As for the situation - it appears to me to be quite simple. Your girlfriend doesn't want the exposure to or the attention from Andrei, or from another man.
She's telling you "no," yet you (perhaps with her complicity) persist in putting her in this position. She says she doesn't like it, she tells you she thinks it's wrong, but in "the heat of the moment," she allows herself to be felt up, and she even sucks another man's cock. It could be the alcohol, it could just be her desire to try to conform to what she thinks you want of her.
But she doesn't like it, and she doesn't want it.
Posted Mon Jun 16, 2014 03:13 PM
It doesn't matter if she gets wet, that's just her body's reaction. It's clear to me that in her mind she thinks it's wrong and is really uncomfortable. Or maybe she feels that if she shows enjoyment it would hurt you, in spite of it being your idea. I think in the future you should respect her wishes. No more of these parties. Don't even suggest them. If she did enjoy it and she ends up missing it or wanting to do it again, then go for it, but don't press the issue.
To be honest, I got uncomfortable reading your post. If I was in her position I would have walked out the first time and never let it happen again.
Posted Mon Jun 16, 2014 03:46 PM
I really don't want to force her to do things, that she don't want.
"She's doing it to please you, but she's not happy about it." - That is one of the things that I suppose is true.
I will take your advices and I will stop trying to put her in that position.
But there were times, when we didn't talk about it (the parties) for a long time and she came to me and says "Lets write a text message to Andrei. Just to see what is he doing". Maybe she is doing this again for me.
But again - once she told me that she want a massage from man. She really likes massages but she always has been massaged form women in massage studio. I told her that she will be complietely naked there, doesn't this bother her. She replies - "If I am agree she will be OK with that".. Once again I felt really confused....
Anyway. Thanks for your replies. I will took your advice and I will stop that parties. Maybe someday she will miss them
Posted Tue Jun 17, 2014 07:13 AM
For example, without being a woman, I don't think lubrication is a necessary response to just rubbing of breasts and similar non-genital stimulation. That indicates to me that at least part of her is excited at all of these sorts of interactions, conflicted though she may be. She wouldn't ask about Andrei after a hiatus if she wasn't interested at all either.
My read on this is that she's excited by the whole idea. She's able to say no and have it be respected, such as when she decided to go to bed and end things. She's agreeing to things more and more; there is a progression that is going in the direction of more sexual openness. If it keeps up, one of these days Andrei will be allowed to lick her pussy, and eventually fuck her.
The protestations may be seen as something she does to save her image of herself as virtuous. If she's religious, she may have misgivings related to that, or just feel the impact of other societal rules in the morning. Another possibility is that part of the attraction for her is being asked to do things "despite her will", which can be seen as a very mild form of the driving force behind and many BDSM fantasies: loss of control.
My gut says that she will wind up consenting to an MFM threesome eventually, and not just to go along with her boyfriend's wishes. She is simply on a different timetable, and probably secretly savoring each new encroachment.
The safest way to deal with this situation would be to wait, without any discussion of Andrei, until she brings it up again. Then when she does, ask her what she'd like to do. If she wants to text him to see what he's doing, fine, but don't suggest a party. She will bring it up, I'm positive. Once she asks for another party, OP, you can have a kind discussion with her about where this is leading. Perhaps suggest a one-time frank discussion on just what she wants. She may not want to destroy the excitement by admitting that she really wants these interactions, or she may simply be inhibited, but hopefully you can coax her into at least one heart-to-heart talk without any sort of endangerment.
This post has been edited by IneffableNumpty: Tue Jun 17, 2014 07:20 AM
Posted Tue Jun 17, 2014 01:42 PM
Posted Tue Jun 17, 2014 04:10 PM
You assume she's not. Yet she lets things progress each time, and re-initiates.
Posted Tue Jun 17, 2014 04:51 PM
You understand me quite well. I am confused, because I am getting mixed signals. Like you I think that she is exited about the whole MFM idea. Just when Andrei stars to massage her she pullsthat look...Look of a horny girl. The look that she gave me when weare in bed. Also closing her eyes for a little, taking deep breaths. For me this signals plus her body signs – they all shows that shelikes that.
She is not so religious. But she is shy. She don't sunbathe topless for example. So the BDSM fantasies – she didn't mention any... I don't think that she is that type of girl. In the bed –she likes the classic things. I will get your advice and I will wait for her to brings it up again.
I can clearly see what you mean – that maybe she Is doing that for me... but all that signs that she gave me are really confused. I will write some for exaple:
Once we met him (Andrei) in a local club. He was there with another company drinking and laughing at the far end of the club. After some time she told me that she is going to greet him and to see whats up with him. I followed her with a glance and I saw her that she went next to him and start to chat. After some time, laughing and talking, she dance a song with him and at the end of thedance she slap his ass like it was a joke. After that she came back to me and told me everything about their chat and dance.
At one party my girlfriend and Andrei were talking about river lobsters(crayfish – I really don't know how a rivercrab is called in English). My girl is keen on walking next to rivers and catching them with bare hands. So Andrei told her, that he knows a place, full of these river things. The place is surrounded by beautiful landscape and crystal river water. Then my girl starts to question him where this place is. Andrei told her, that he will reveal that place if she give him something in return. He asked her to give him ablowjob sometime. My girlfriend replies something like that - “Ok.It's just a blowjob. I hope that I will like that place”. All that chat was like a joke. They were laughing all the time.
I remember one time when they were argued about the chess rules. At the end it became at a bet. The winner of a chessgame will be the better player and the looser will do something for the winner. Then Andrei, as a joke, suggest to let him lick and fuck her at one of our small parties, but my girl take this serious and responds - “OK. It doesn't matter what do you want. I will be the winner”. In return she desire to put her 1 finger in his ass. After some laugh, Andreiagree.
At another party, that we were three of us, my girlfriend told Andrei that that day she bought a very nice shortdress. As a respond Andrei asked her to show it. My girl went to the other room and came back wearing that short dress. She turn around several times, showing him how short it was. Till the end of thatparty she was in that dress teasing him as showing “accidentally”a little bit of her ass.
Andrei is working as a hotel supervisor. Once she was having a day off and call me that she is going to do some shopping and after that eventually she will come by to visit him - “Just forsome fun” - like she usually says. After about one hour she told me that she is in front of the hotel. Laughing all the time added that She will ask him to show her the best room in the hotel and if she didn't call me back in 15 min I have to call Andrei to ask him something. That will give her the chance to escape. After 15 min she call me back, laughing again, that it was a good joke and he was so shocked. As soon as I hang up the phone Andrei call me starting with “Can you Imagine.... I think your girl is making fun with me”
Sometimes in the evenings they use the messenger on the PC and talks dirty things. Like she is teasing him. After that she show me the whole conversation – laughing again. I usually tell her "Stop teasing him. You know how this could end. At the next small party of us he will start to rub you again". She often replies (laughing) "This not bother me. I am not afraid of that. You will be there and you will tell him not to" - and that look angain... I think that she likes to tease him, but when he is standing next to her, andrubbing her tits she became scared.
There are so many little stories and things that make me believe she wants that MFM experience. But on the other side there are the same number stories that make me believe she didn't want this and she is doing all this only for me. That's why I am so confused and joined in that community seeking for advice.
Thanks again for all your replies.
This post has been edited by s55: Tue Jun 17, 2014 04:58 PM
Posted Tue Jun 17, 2014 04:59 PM
Posted Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:12 AM
on one hand, i feel like she wants to just go for it with your friend very badly but feels wrong about it or worried about how she'll feel afterwards.
on the other hand, it seems like she knows you like these sort of things and wants to please you so she tries but she feels bad during and wants to stop.
honestly, i would not try and push the issue with her. let her take control. if she is comfortable, then she will act.
and be sure to tell your friend HANDS OFF unless she says ok!!
Posted Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:18 PM
Posted Sun Jun 22, 2014 09:59 PM
I would just have a heart to heart talk with her about it and find out how she truly feels. See if you can come to a compromise or just drop everything entirely for a bit. Give her a bit of break to process everything and maybe she'll be down for that threesome later on.
This post has been edited by rnbnikes: Sun Jun 22, 2014 10:01 PM
Posted Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:09 AM
Posted Mon Jun 30, 2014 01:09 PM
And by all means, leave the camera put away! She is sensitive to the whole thing and does not want pictures of it showing up on the internet!!
Posted Wed Jul 02, 2014 02:44 AM
I agree with this, you should do it and see how she responds to it.
Posted Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:04 AM
thank youall for your replies. Since my first post I take your advice and stop pushingit all. No more small parties arranged by me. I am just slowing down and looking for my girl's response. Before fewdays she told me that they(she and Andrei) had a text chat over the PCmessenger about another small party and maybe we can arrange it for thisweekend. I sad that I am OK with that. My girl told me to answer him that we are OK.When I opened the messenger I review the whole conversation. Earlier in thisconversation he was asking her to get the white small dress (a small dress thatis so short that barely covers her ass) and to dress it at the party. Shereplied that maybe she will, but wearing it does not mean that she will let himtouch her. He replied something like "I would like to pull down your dressa little and rub your tits, and latter maybe to lift it up and grab your ass.Just wear that dress at the party." On this she replied - OK we will see.It depends on my mood.
I wasconfused again. She lets him to talk her some kind of dirty things. She agreesto wear that dress (She knows that this short dress barely hides her body andif she sit in front of him her panties will be visible. She knows that if shedid not pay attention eventually at sometime that dress lifts up showing her ass). She knows that wearing it will teasehim, but after all she sad "It doesn't mean that I will let you touchme". Come on.. even the dress itself says "Come on, get me" - ifyou know what I mean
Now I amjust waiting for the party day to come. I am wondering will she put her whitedress on. I am planning at that party when he start to touch her not to payattention and not to say anything about it. Or maybe eventually to pretend thatI need to go to the WC and to leave the room. Just to see her reaction and tosee what will happen next
Posted Sat Jul 05, 2014 08:36 AM
Andrei obviously wants to pursue her. Your leaving when they are together kind of gives her the green light to play with his cock a little.
When you get back, if she is horny and a little drunk, suggest you three go back to your place.