Here is the situation. I have been involved in the swinging and fetish lifestyle for almost 20 years. I have been with her for a litte over 3. When I met her, I was ready to settle down and be monogamous, sometimes swinging can be full of drama. Which is what happened later. In the getting to know each other stages of our relationship, she had asked about my sex life...I was honest with her, as I believe that you should always be honest with your significant other. Well, answering that question brought a million more questions from her and I could see that she was intrigued by it all. Later, she said that she wanted to try. Well, I have never had a bad experience in the lifestyle, so I thought...what the hell. I took her to a party.
I should have just stopped it right there, when the following happened, but I am madly in love with her...so I was stupid...lol
At the party, she ran into her very first boyfriend that she hadn't seen in almost 30 years. The guy that took her virginity. That was all fine and dandy, nothing big there. She had fun at the party, got pretty drunk. I didn't, as I am a recovering alcoholic, 12 years sober....and I had been awake for 36 hours before that...I was getting pretty tired, so we left. We got home and as soon as my head hits the pillow, I pass out. I wake up the next morning and I see that I have several facebook messages from some woman that I didn't know. She was talking about my wife. So, I woke her up and asked what it was about. She freaked out, apparently after I fell asleep...she left the house and met the ex boyfriend down at the docks. (She said that nothing happened) His wife (who was the woman who sent me the facebook messges) followed him and pulled my wife out of the car. A fight insued and she came home. Ok, I let that go. We didn't go back to that party, didn't really do much playing at all with anyone.
A few months go by and my wife approaches me with, what she calls, an opprotunity. This ex boyfriend and his wife, along with another couple, are trying to start a swingers club and they want me to build them a website....as I am a web designer. I have strong reservations about it, but I agree to meet with them. We meet them and they talk to me into, even though I tell her that I'm unsure about it. I mostly agreed to it, because she was excited and they wanted her on staff.
As I am building this site, the ex boyfriend is always trying to find ways to get her alone during the weekly meetings. I will walk in and they are making out...but I don't say anything, I wait until we are home. She tells me that he has been pining for her all this time, but I have nothing to worry about it. She isn't attracted to him.
Fast forward, the site is done and we become good friends with the other couple. We get involved with them and things are going good, everyone is having fun, we even meet solo with each other spouses. Then things start getting weird. The husband starts calling my wife 3 or 4 times a day, trying to get her to meet him. Now, keep in mind, his wife and I actually only slept together about 4 times in six months. The reason being, he would get angry if she met with me. Also, when ever we did meet, she was to keep to a strict time limit. We spent most of our time talking. After a while, she started talking about their marriage and how turbulent it was.
I didn't feel comfortable with that and I was not comfortable with him being so agressive towards my wife that I decided to put an end to it. After all, in the swinging lifestyle, the first rule is..."No means no". If one part of the couple is not comfortable, that puts the breaks on the whole thing. Well, you would think that I shot the President or something, once I did that. I got it from all three of them. So, eventually, I caved and we started seeing them again. And once again, it all started back up. The drama was unbelievable. So, after a few months, I had enough and I put a stop to it again when my wife told me that he was talking about moving her in with them. When she wouldn't do it, she felt like she was pushing her to be with the ex boyfriend, who I found out was also talking to her about leaving me and moving him with him also.
They began to try to convince her that I was crazy. We almost lost our relationship because of this. I explained to her that the most important thing a you have to have in this lifestyle is complete honesty. That is paramount or things will get ugly. This ex boyfriend, who I thought was my friend was going behind my and his wife's back to get her to leave me. The husband of the couple, was keeping things from his wife. There was barely any honesty at all. It took me a week to explain this to her, because she was having fun and didn't want it to stop. There were times, when she would get drunk, pick a fight and leave the house to get see them. She would say nothing happened and I didn't push the issue.
About this time, we find out that she is diabetic and has been for some time. And any diabetic knows that drinking in too much is a no no. So, one night she gets drunk, leaves the house and meets them. She is gone all night and the next morning. I get worried and I go looking for her, thinking she got in an accident or something, after I call the hospitals. I drive all over town, see her car in the parking lot of a motel. Pull in and they are on the balcony. I'm furious. I go home and wait for her and we get into a fight. Now, she claims that she blacked out and his wife said that my wife and her husband had sex. That is cheating, I didn't know about it and I called a stop to it....but I cave when she convinces me that she doesn't remember. Hey, she was drunk right?
So, I get pissed enough to where the couple hates me and they back off. I have the ex boyfriend show up in my front yard with a gun, all this groovy drama. Finally, my wife gets her drinking under control and everything is hunky dory. Recently, she begins to act funny and I have seen her act this way before. I know that she is attracted to this guy we know, who wasn't married at the time...but never got a chance to play. I suspect that she is talking to him and he is married now. So, this morning while she was in the bathroom, I walk in and tell her that if she sees "Bill" tonight to tell him that I said hi. I can tell that she is stunned.
Now, I say this...I have thought they were seeing each other for about a month now. I would ask her about it, she would deny but accuse me of reading her Facebook messages, even though I don't.. Which made me think it even more, because why would she accuse me of that if they aren't doing anything.
Anyway, she leaves a few hours ago to go to her sisters house. She wants to make plans with me tonight, but I can tell she is disappointed. So, after she leaves, I get her tablet and this time, I do look at her Facebook messages and I read their conversation as they are having it. She tells him that I knew that they had plans to meet tonight and that she would just have to come home. So, I call her and an confront her. She says that I'm crazy and she is just saying all that because she knew that I was reading her messages.
My question is, am I crazy?
This post has been edited by bedge: Sat Jan 03, 2015 08:46 PM