Englishman.. Irishman.. Scotsman..
Posted Fri Aug 28, 2015 05:49 AM
"You will all be killed, as we need your skins to make canoes," says the chief Indian. "You may have one last wish."
He turns to the Englishman. "What will you have?"
"I say, could you rustle up a pipe and some of that splendid tobacco stuff you have over here?" says the Englishman. His wish is granted, he smokes the pipe and then is immediately killed, scalped and skinned. Yuck.
"And you?" says the chief, pointing at the Scotsman.
"Och, I'll have a wee dram. In fact, make it a double. There's a flask in my sporran." The chief finally works out what the fuck he's on about and gives the Scotsman his whisky. Then it's a whack from the tomahawk, scalped, skinned. Job done.
The Irishman watches in anger as his friends are killed, then, before the chief could even ask him, he says, "Begorra! Hand me a fork!"
"A fork?" asks the chief. "What do you want a fork for?"
"Just give me a feckin' fork will ya?" says the Irishman.
"Well, OK, if you insist," says the chief, and hands him a fork. At which the Irishman begins frantically stabbing himself all over while shouting, "You'll never make me into a feckin' canoe!"