Boyfriend won't go to places he's already been
Posted Thu Sep 10, 2015 03:12 PM
Posted Thu Sep 10, 2015 04:47 PM
I think he's acting pretty controlling. If you have the money to go out and want to, then you should be able to go out without him at the very least. I don't think he can say what you'd like or not like, and you should be able to make that decision for yourself. Besides, going to see your friend's band play wasn't even about the place. It was about seeing your friend and supporting their band and showing that you care enough to show up. It wasn't about liking the bar or not.
I totally understand getting bored with going to the same places all the time. My fiance and I go through that, too, and we feel like we've eaten everywhere local and can't think of something new to do. However, if he's not very open-minded about going to unfamiliar places, then there's no option than to go to the same places you always go to or not go out at all.
You should definitely talk to him and let him know that you miss that social part of your relationship and how it was when you weren't living in a familiar city. You may not necessarily be looking to make new friends right now or learn your way around a new city, but you probably still stay connected to your friends by going out with them on the weekends, and those relationships are important, too. Finding places you both like and revisiting them is also part of creating your own traditions as a couple and makes your bond stronger. See if he can understand why it's so important to you.
Posted Thu Sep 10, 2015 07:06 PM
I think you need to sit down with him and try to find out the real problem why he wont go out. In my opinion its part of being in a relationship, that is go out and spend some quality time together either going to clubs, seeing bands, going to the flicks or to the footy etc. Good luck.
Posted Thu Sep 10, 2015 08:36 PM
Posted Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:18 AM
Posted Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:27 AM
If the city was really that bad in the first place, then he should have expressed feelings before you moved back.
Posted Fri Sep 11, 2015 05:23 PM
"So, how do you know her? Where'd you meet her? Do you think she's pretty? prettier than me? Did you have sex with her? Was she better than me? Do you wish you were back with her?
I want to meet her..."
Not a welcome prospect. It might be helpful to reassure him that you understand that everything is different, and he has nothing to fear about his past.
But if he still resists, go out without him. It's your town too, and you don't need a leash nor a chaperone, thank you very much...
Posted Fri Sep 11, 2015 09:53 PM
Posted Mon Sep 14, 2015 12:18 PM
Posted Mon Sep 14, 2015 08:33 PM
otherwise as OP have stated ....TALK WITH HIM - GET ANSWERS ....if NO answers ...well its all open to guessing games ....an who NEEDS guessing games
Posted Mon Sep 14, 2015 08:43 PM
yeah. what you are basically saying is "fuck him if he can't take a joke". He might respond poorly to your partying late night without him there. It would be better to figure out what the heck is HIS problem, and try to negotiate a new way of thinking first. And, drinking and partying late nights at bars with new friends....sounds like a really good way to get laid with someone else...so unless you want that...I would not roll those dice just yet. COMMUNICATIONS! You two need to talk!
Posted Tue Sep 15, 2015 02:52 PM
Posted Tue Sep 15, 2015 03:54 PM
Posted Tue Sep 15, 2015 07:10 PM
Posted Tue Sep 29, 2015 07:45 PM
I'd talk with him and find out what his fears really are, and if it's just some coincidence with something that built fear for him around the same time you moved, or if there's some reasons he hasn't felt like bringing up that are deeper rooted.