Ok, to the men, would this make you feel uncomfortable?
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:49 AM
Felt a bit freaked out by something though and wanted guys and girls feedback.
My girlfriend loves me lots, I know this for a fact and she has never given me any rise for doubt. She has also told me that trust in a relationship is the most important thing to her. Fair point.
A few years back she randomly met a guy on the train and they exchanged numbers etc. Seems like they got on well, and if it hadn't been for her ex having scarred her and made her wary of guys, she said she could see things as having developed further. Also he lived quite a fair way so there was a distance issue.
So seems they have kept in contact over the years and today had arranged to meet up. He was coming down and they would spend the day together catching up after a few years of not seeing each other.
That's kind of ok, I guess, but she went out and bought wine so she can cook for him and she is taking him to all the places we regularly go to as a couple and I generally feel a little uneasy about this.
He is a very good looking guy, I'm happy to admit that, and although she has been open to me about her plans to meet him, I was surprised that she didn't think that perhaps I would be unsure about this. I understand if they see each other a lot, he is not single or gay, but this is basically a guy she was not in the frame of mind to date at the time coming back on the scene to meet up. Surely if a spark is reignited, then it's not great news?
I just wanted to see what people thought of this, and if you feel a line has been crossed in the relationship. I feel it would be inappropriate for me to invite a girl to my place who i knew years ago and almost dated for a nice meal and wine without my gf present and I would expect her to challenge me on this, yet she does not seem to be bothered.
Incidently, and confusingly so, she went to meet him in just her scruffs, her lounging round the house casuals and I was adamant she would make herself up etc but she didn't.
Am I being a silly fool about this?
It's happening today (ironically on our 8 month anniversary lol)
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:20 AM
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:49 AM
I have no reason to not trust her but it seem like such a big effort to meet someone who you only stay in contact with via email, text etc and who you haven't seen in 3 years. I can understand if you were single, but surely if you were in a committed loving relationship, you would question your reasons?
I don't know maybe it's me, but I'm sure if I did something similar, she would hate it?
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:16 PM
The only thing that I might speak up about is that if this guy is single and lives far away it's a leap that he would come down for a girl he has no feelings for, and if that's the case and he does have feelings for her I would expect her to make the choice to never see this guy because it's not worth the risk that something might happen if she cares about you.
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:27 PM
When I meet my female friends I do it alone most times. Same with male friends. I go to extends as far as preparation goes because they are my friends and a thorough preparation shows respect to those people.
That said, if your gf implied in any way that she might be interested in him in more than a friendly way and the spark is bound to reignite, then I guess your relationship is leaking somewhere, regardless of the guys she meets.
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:45 PM
I don't want to be the jealous bf, hence why I have said niothing and played it down but it is playing on my mind quite a lot.
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:55 PM
It would bother me, but it probably isn't a big deal.
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 01:18 PM
I know it will probably be fine, just wish she appreciated a little more how it looks to me.
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 02:38 PM
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 02:50 PM
It's not that I don't trust her, I do, it's more of an overstepping of the mark within the relationship. It feels like they on a date....perhaps she forgot that she is in an 8 month relationship? :/
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 03:25 PM
she's using things that work for you and her to explore someone else.. on your 8 month anniversary!!
unless you don't want to hang out with them, i don't understand why you're not with her..
i'm upset and she's not even my gf.. so yeah, i'd be uncomfortable!
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 03:31 PM
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 03:33 PM
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 03:47 PM
yes, she sure is entitled to her own life..
but it's not so separate when she's using the "special" parts of her relationship with ThisName to explore her personal life!! that stuff is only special because it's exclusive between them!!! of course opening it up to other people changes all that..
like tnsmith2 asked, wine and pudding? seriously, wtf?
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 03:58 PM
Guess he gets to enjoy it now instead
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 04:05 PM
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 04:48 PM
Guess he gets to enjoy it now instead
that can't feel very good.........
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 09:40 PM
Posted Sat Jan 10, 2009 09:43 PM
Her cooking for him, the wine, pudding, taking him to the places you two go as a couple, it's your anniversary, just a friend but you weren't invited.....wtf??
You have every right to be concerned. Hopefully, the whole thing turns out to be not that big of a deal and that they're just friends....