Advise please! Relationship with long time friend.
Posted Sun Jan 18, 2009 07:21 PM
I, in the other hand, have kept most parts of my relationships to myself. I've gone through one serious gf, and a couple other girls. but I keep the details away from her. So she doesn't really know much about them.
Anyyyways....Last night we went out. And like everytime, I'm her wingman, she my wingwoman. We started dancing. Usually when we dance, we don't get very physical because it feels odd for me to get physical with a friend. But she starts grabbing me, and suddenly she brings her face in. I avoid it, and we're cheek to cheek. At this point, I'm just totally shocked and puzzled. I thought I might of mistook it as her trying to do something else. Nope! Later on, she does it again. Well, I get the message. We start making out yadayadada...
I drive her home, we talk about some normal stuff on the way back. As I pulled up to her place, I turn off the music and asked her "what was that?? I mean I liked it, but what was it?"(I'm very blunt sometimes) She tells me that she's been wanting to do that for a while now. I have been noticing that she gets really close to me sometimes, but just thought it was my mind playing tricks. I told her that I am really only interested in a relationship if we're going to do something. She tells me that she doesn't know if she can do that, that she wants to enjoy her freedom, and she wants to give this a try. And thats how we left it.
I mean, on one hand, I want to try it out. But on the other, we've been friends for so long, that I don't want to ruin it. I mean, we've already made out, and its going to be weird anyways if we don't get together, right? I can't believe I was so clueless...lol
So...what would you guys do in this situation...
PS: I've been encouraging her to go out w/ a friend of a friend. And they've gone out twice already and she cancelled their 3rd date which was supposed to be today.
Sorry for the long post. hopefully everything makes sense.
Posted Sun Jan 18, 2009 07:49 PM
Life's simpler than people make it out to be.
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 01:21 AM
We'll see what happens with my friend. In the past, she has some emotional stability issues. Not necessarily when she's in a relationship. But when someone breaks her heart, she just get so hung up on it, and I don't want to be that guy. On that note, I've been hurt bad too. Actually, 3/5 of my past gf's have cheated on me. And that is always on my mind when I meet girls.
I guess the kicker for both of us is that since we've both been hurt, we're going into something familiar.
Anyways, we'll see I guess. I'm pretty laid back and the kind to take it slow.
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 04:00 AM
Guess what? It got WEIRDER. We were having fights all the time to the point where we didn't talk. When we decided to try and be together, now we are 9 full months together, crazy for eachother.
I was also like her saying i want to enjoy freedom when i finally ended it with the first guy, but one week into our new founded relationship i was telling him i loved him, and he said it back. You never know how she's going to respond, but right now you have the perfect ground for a relationship. Endless trust, good comunication, physical attraction... Go for it!
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 03:42 PM
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 04:35 PM
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 06:17 PM
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 09:12 PM
Apparently all her friends knows about her feeling about me. And also, some of our older friends have been wondering why we haven't gotten together. Well, thats the first I've heard.
Any other advice?
Posted Mon Jan 19, 2009 10:08 PM
Have fun and enjoy dating a good friend.
Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 04:21 AM
Posted Tue Jan 20, 2009 07:43 PM
i was like that a few years back.... relationship shy
one girl i was dating i said something like ' can we see each other without having to put a label on it?' she was cool with it and we saw each other til I got out of the air force and i moved here. i have a feeling that if we became gf/bf that would have terminated things early... bad previous experience where the ex was abusive/controlling... not putting a label on your relationship gives freedom. Just because you dont put "are we together?" doesnt mean you arent.
avoid the terminology...