Three weeks of everyday sex with two orgasms
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 02:20 PM
My fiance and I have been together and living together for a year and three months now. He and I have sex almost everyday. If not multiple times per day.
Three weeks ago, he was giving me oral and I was laying on my back enjoying it when he said, I wish you'd just do something instead of laying there and taking it in your hole. I was like what?! I was moaning and rubbing his head (fingers through his hair) while he was performing.
He has also said I wish you'd get off faster.
He has also said that he's sick of me just taking it in my cun*!
I top ride, give him bj's, rub my hands all over him, moan (every time), etc..
I have only been able to get off two times in the last three weeks, because of this..., but we have had sex everyday.
I am extremely hurt, and obviously sexually effected by his words.
We have been trying to have a baby and the other week he mentioned out of anger wanting to get condoms. He now says it was said to see if we were ready to have a child.
Last night he went to an adult toy store alone with ten dollars that he borrowed from me to run to walmart suposedly, and brought home a tounge vibrator and a cock ring.
Help me, what is going on here?
I can't stop thinking about the ignorant things he said to me when sex occurs so therefore I cannot get off, then he gets really upset because he knows that I didn't get off then he pressures me so much that I cannot get off.
What should I do?
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 02:25 PM
Don't be too confrontational if he's being quite aggressive about it. But just talk to him gently, try and bring it up. I mean, I doubt it's sexual frustration. I don't know how it cant be if he's getting that much action off you!
But I would defo try talking to him.
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 02:29 PM
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 02:46 PM
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 02:56 PM
wait did we want to insult him or no?? im kidding..
but seriously, are you not having orgasms because he's not lasting long enough for you to cum?
why have sex everyday if you arent happy with him and these things are on your mind? its not even enjoyable that way. does the alarm clock ring and you go, "ugh now i have to have sex with him again.."?
im going to tell you that he is getting very very frustrated because he cant pleasure you well enough, and that isn't your fault. he says 'why dont u do something besides lay there' because he might think you arent enjoying it. is your moaning real or are you faking it? can he finger you, hit your gspot and make you cum that way? it only takes a couple minutes to make most women cum by gspot stimulation and a little rubbing/licking the clit.
he's doing something wrong sweetie. if you're on top and still not getting off, he's doing something wrong not in bed, but in general, and your mind won't let your body feel good because of it.
maybe it'd be better to stop giving it to him for a while so when you do have sex, you're really horny and he is too, and theres nothing better than sex between two people feeling deprived and reallly really horny.
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 07:36 PM
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 07:51 PM
Posted Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:32 PM
Now let's get to what the problem is. Your fiance is feeling sexually insecure for some reason and he is taking it out on you. The fact that you fail to reach an orgasm is bad for his precious little ego because he probably has illusions about how good he is. He is being extremely selfish about this and you should let him go because you are only going to get hurt. It won't be long before he starts seeing other woman who can stroke his pathetic little ego to make him feel like a man again. Guys like this likes to keep score and they will run when you confront them with the facts.
If you want to get back at him in kind then next time you have sex with him put some presure on him. Ask him why he's taking so long to cum. Or better yet ask him if thats all he got coz you aint even wet yet. Then when he flips you can calmly look at him and say "yes you stupid idiot, thats what i feel like when u put me down like that".
Posted Sat Mar 07, 2009 04:12 AM
And I'd also venture to say you are not assertive enough. I wouldn't go so far as to say he is abusive, but his attitude is bordering on it and when he makes claims like that you should have asked immediately what he meant, not just taken it and internalsed the hurt. A relationship is a two-way street and when one person is all "me me me" that is a recipe for disaster.
Honey there are lots of fish in the sea. Tag this one "defective" and throw him back...
Posted Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:49 AM
Posted Sat Mar 07, 2009 11:58 AM
DO NOT have a child with this guy. Wait until you are married to a real man.
And what do you mean - you are not allowed to masturbate? WTF? Dump this guy before it's too late.
Posted Sat Mar 07, 2009 06:11 PM
Posted Sat Mar 07, 2009 09:16 PM
I'd get on birth control and make sure that you have these things worked out before entering the relationship that will never ever ever end (parenthood). Cause it's not just about you getting off, it's about communication and respect.
Posted Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:31 PM
Anyhow, I wonder what happened in his mind when things changed like that. If I read this correctly, you thought things were fine and had a great sex life then out of the blue he pulls this on you.
One, it's sounds like a communication issue on both parts, but also, he'd let having a good relationship go bad all of a sudden like this. If he feels you aren't worth fighting for, then he's not worth having.
Posted Sun Mar 08, 2009 08:41 PM
Secondly, though this may be a tad underhanded, just try to be a little louder during sex. This will make him feel much more comfortable, but do not go all out and throw a pillow across the room. He might catch on to your ruse if that is the case. So just up the volume, to be blunt. This will make him feel as though he is doing something much better, he will get comfortable again, and when a man is comfy, he will get much more aggressive. This will most likely lead to both of you experiencing climax, hopefully this post helped
Posted Mon Mar 09, 2009 08:53 PM
Ladies: Do you agree that being held or shown a different affection other then sex, after a fight is what should be done? I don't think it's fair of him to "expect" sex, and he does. I have talked to him about this and he says that he doesn't, which is a load of bullshit....
Thanks for all the advice!
Posted Tue Mar 10, 2009 01:39 PM
Make up sex can be an amazing thing. Note the wording can be. It is not a cure all to any problems which is what it sounds like he's expecting it to be. The guy just sounds like he can't handle a mature relationship and is looking to fix all the problems by fucking. It's what you'd expect in 10th grade, not when your knocking on the door of marriage.
My advice would be to get away from him, stay with a friend, or family member and leave him a message saying it's time to back things up a bit and work things out or pack them up and get out. You sound horribly stressed from all this, and the long term effects psycho-sexually could actually stunt your sex life with him or others if you two split, and lets face it love, no one wants that.
Posted Tue Mar 10, 2009 02:17 PM
once you sort things out in your head things in the bedroom should go back to normal, hes hurt you and he needs to be put back in his place!
Posted Tue Mar 10, 2009 02:31 PM
I think making that video was an awesome idea. But I'm willing to bet he reacts negatively if and when you give it to him.