Best Friend is Hitting on my EX
Posted Tue Apr 21, 2009 06:41 PM
Now, recently, as many of you may know, me and my girlfriend broke up. I was deeply in love with her and kinda still am. But that is besides the point.
The main point here is that after me and Allie (EX) broke up, I started to branch out more and hang out with a few of my old buddies and a few new ones as well.
Now this is where the trouble starts.
My new buddy, Justin, we met about a few days after me and Allie broke up and we have been hanging out and BSing every day or so now. We are really good friends and I would like to consider him to be one of my very best friends, but there is a problem.
A little while ago I saw him talking with Allie, I didn't really give it much thought but last night I was talking with him and he said that he liked some girl. I asked him who. He said her name was Allie, I immediately made sure it was actually my old girlfriend and it was. It was at that time I asked him how much he liked her, he said a lot and that she is really cool.
I told him that we used to date, but I didn't tell him how I felt, how she felt, and how I still feel about her. All he knows is that we dated a while back, I told him a little bit more about her and turns out they are even going to Senior Prom with each other!
Now, I don't want to be a dick and say, "Yo, back the fuck off my girl" because for one, she's not mine anymore, and two, NOT A SOUL knows that we were ever in love, she was very reticent and we never really expressed our love in public. And I really don't want to tell him about what happened between me and her because I don't want to be "That Guy" who just won't let go of the past or make myself seem really gay because of how I would just tell him about how I used to feel about her.
So I'm basically stuck between a rock and a hard place, I don't know what to tell him and I know she won't be dating him because she said that she doesn't want another boyfriend because she is going off to college. Any Ideas on what I should do?
(PS: Also, Justin is a virgin, actually, he is 17 and has never even KISSED a girl, which makes me kinda feel bad telling him that he can't have the first girl he has ever liked)
Posted Tue Apr 21, 2009 08:10 PM
Posted Tue Apr 21, 2009 08:45 PM
Posted Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:21 PM
Its common sense to know that even though you two aren't together doesn't mean you want to see the other person going out with your friend. Just tell him that you aren't 100% cool with him going out with her because you still have a little bit of feelings for her. Also tell him to keep it on the DL too so things don't get to crazy.
Posted Wed Apr 22, 2009 02:57 AM
you can't make him not have feelings for the girl and if they are going to date, they will date whether you like it or not. and whether you see it going on or not.
is your friend's happiness important to you or would u rather just not have him in your life at all?
Posted Thu Apr 23, 2009 06:15 PM
- Do not get in between your ex and your friend... it's not your business.
- I think it's okay to talk about what you feel with someone you trust (besides us, that is), but under no circumstance you are to mention your intimacies with your ex.
- If you feel your friend is talking too much about your ex and that makes you feel uncomfortable, distance yourself from your friend.
- What's going on, it's not your friend's fault, those things happen and there's absolutely nothing you can do to control that situation, so might as well leave it alone.
- When in doubt, do what you can and let alone what you cannot change.
Posted Fri Apr 24, 2009 02:59 AM
Posted Fri Apr 24, 2009 07:26 AM
Posted Fri Apr 24, 2009 01:44 PM
However, i personally believe it's okay to discuss this with him. Just address how you feel about it so you're not holding it in. You cannot tell him that he can't date her. Don't try to persuade him not to date her. Do not try to come in between them, but address the fact that you do not feel comfortable with it and if they're gonna date, he's going to have to take that into account and keep it to himself. There's a certain decorum that should be followed here, IMO. But maybe that's just me. If i was dating a friends Ex i wouldn't mention it nor would i take them around each other. However, at the same time, in this situation you said he doesn't know, so TELL him. Otherwise how's he to know how you feel about it?
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 07:20 PM
personally i could never dated another one of my friends girls/ex's. gross, i would think i'm sucking there dick or something lol
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 08:14 PM
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 08:29 PM
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 10:24 PM
Posted Mon May 04, 2009 10:29 PM