What would you do in this situation?
Posted Sat May 09, 2009 04:37 AM
Been with the girlfriend for about 5 years. I love her, and she loves me. We're attached at the hip. We live together, spend lots of time together.
Despite small "bickering" we really don't fight, and we hardly/never have BIG fights. In the end, issues usually stem from OURSELVES rather than issues with the other person. So they usually work themselves out.
But one unresolved issue...
Our sexual appetites are not synced at all. I am ready to have sex practically anytime, and if it were up to me we would be doing it multiple times daily. It's not that we have not talked about it, because we have. The result is that she simply spells out that she doesn't want it all the time, asking if I have a problem with that. Obviously, and because I love her I'm not wanting to FORCE her to do something she doesn't want to do herself.
We DO have sex. Sometimes it's more than other times. I'd say we sometimes have it a few times a week, but other times won't have it for weeks on end.
The other issue within this is that the type of sex we're looking for seems to differ. While I love the sex that we do have, to me I would be willing to do A LOT MORE. Namely, I really love to eat pussy. It turns me on more than anything else. One of my fantasies is face-sitting, where a I'm eating a girl out with her over my face. Now this is a fantasy we've discussed in the past. She knows that this is what I like. But to her, she DOES NOT LIKE ORAL. She's tried it for limited split seconds, but can never get into it. She doesn't like to receive oral at all. She doesn't like to give oral either, and never really has. I've gotten it a few times from her, but other than that; nothing really. For me this feels like a real hole in my sex life, because I consider myself to be very "oral" sexually.
I've talked to her about it over and over. To my knowledge, we've always been faithful to one another. One of the major issues for her is that she isn't comfortable with her body. She is overweight, but I am obviously still attracted to her. She however is disgusted by her body, and I think it ruins it for her.
So this has led me to many different thoughts. I love her, I wouldn't leave her because this is the girl I want to spend my life with. But on the other hand, I feel like I'm neglecting a major part of myself.
Posted Sat May 09, 2009 11:16 AM
The weight factor might be too much of an issue for her to move of past from. The best thing for her, as much as she may hate hearing it, is to lose enough weight where she can gain that confidence back.
That's most likely something that needs to be addressed now because it sure as hell isn't going to get easier down the line, especially the more serious you two get. It all depends how important sexual compatibility is between you both.
Posted Sun May 10, 2009 05:01 PM
Posted Sun May 10, 2009 07:31 PM
if you make her feel good about herself, she may have a little more confidence, especially since u are obviously the main man in her life.
but some girls just aren't into oral... giving or receiving. that's just the way it is. i don't know how... but still.
also, maybe ask her to just try letting u give her oral for longer than just a few minutes... maybe use a vibrator first and then tease her. trust me. you can make her want it if u try hard enough.
Posted Mon May 11, 2009 12:20 AM
She doesn't like the idea of it. I've eaten her before for short durations where she LOVED it. I admit, I'm no expert (given little practice!). But I know enough to do it half decently and to have made her feel good. She's even given me pointers. But it seems like the moods where she's into it come almost never. More often than not, she doesn't want me to do it, because she thinks her vagina is gross.
I tell her she's beautiful, cute, etc... All day long. Everyday. She has low confidence. No matter what I say to her, she doesn't believe it. She only believes what she thinks. She's not the type of girl that lives off of what others tell her.
She doesn't like to be teased sexually. Sometimes she doesn't want to be touched at all down there (a lot of the time actually). Other times, she makes it apparent that she wants it. But it usually breaks down to allowing my hand or cock down there; one or the other. Her vibrator comes and goes as wanted.
It's not that she doesn't enjoy sex when we do have it. When we have sex, it's GREAT. We usually go for awhile, and actually I'm usually the one "outlasting" her. I'll end up rushing myself to orgasm as she has hers. Thing is, unlike what I've heard from other girls, she never wants to go again; while I'm usually down to do so. She usually has one BIG orgasm (that lasts for a bit mind you, or could feel like a bunch together) and that's it.
Posted Mon May 11, 2009 03:51 AM
Posted Mon May 11, 2009 08:55 AM