I've only recently joined the forums but have been trolling around and reading for a while, as sex is a big part of my life. I've only cooperated in the PC muscle discussion, but my BF and I would like to share our new found hobby. Yes, we're both male, but who better to try these type of products than two people that are the target audience for these products. These reviews don't really have any gay themes to them, if anyone is worried about that.
One of the reasons for starting these reviews was because there doesn't seem to be really any site out there with real reviews. If you google "Male Enhancement Reviews" you will come up with thousands of sites that are actually fake and setup by the product manufactures themselves. They usually "rate" other products really poorly and give their own products really high marks. Someone not knowing much about the evil world of online marketing might not know any better and buy these products based on what was read on these sites. We (mainly my BF) wanted to make these reviews to help those that are in the same situation as him and don't want to waste time and money going through many products to find one that might actually achieve the outrageous claims it promises.
We're not trying to spam or sell anything, and I will not be listing any URLs at all, as that's not the point of these reviews. I looked at the rules and couldn't find anything against something like this other than not posting URLs, but if a mod or admin has an issue, I understand.
So, I am a lot younger than my BF (whose alias is "Postal"), and he is at an age where he can use the help of these products every once in a while. Although I don't really need them, they do help make sex enjoyable and the right product can get you lasting for hours and hours (and hours). The wrong product can do quite the opposite we've found out.
We only take products that are all natural and that claim to work within an hour or so. Meaning, Enzyte and products like that will not be reviewed.
I will be posting two reviews, and if it's ok to post, and if people seem interested, I can post some more. We just started recently so we haven't tried too many products, but we already have a few more we are going to try, and are taking recommendation or suggestions on what products to try next. I will be posting the reviews for the products Stiff Nights and Tango. No URLs will be posted, so if you're really interested I would recommend googling the products to find where they are available.
Price: $7.95 per pill (zoinks!)
Rating: 2 ˝ Wood Swings
The folks at Stiff Nights are old-school drug dealers. They will not let you buy their product. They will let you try the product (or “ have a taste” as they would say in the imagined crack dens of my youth) for the horndog-on-a-budget price of just $1.99 shipping and handling. But, heck who has the time to wait for shipping AND handling? I mean, I’m on it for the shipping, but handling, too? I’ve got places to go, dog!
Lucky for me, my local lube-and-condom shop was retailing these bad boys for the no commitment price of $7.95 per pill. Shut your mouth! For the price of admission to a matinee screening of “Chronicles of Narnia 3”, I was promised 48-72 hours of rock solid erections with recovery time between ejaculations of less than 5 minutes. Damn, I can get off continuously AND put out a fire. Now that’s value.
The product packaging had all the overheated promise of being young, intense, hard, yadda-yadda-yadda. I especially liked their catch phrase “regain the thunder”. Visions of neon bolts shooting out my urethra (oh wait, that would be regain the lightning)…oh well, never mind, thunder is just not that visual….
Rebels that we are, iwst99 and I gulped our Stiff Nights at 11am on a Saturday morning. Why would Stiff Nights so baldly discriminate against the daylight hours? Who the hell are they, vampires? And since I am about to be rock-hard for the next 48 hours, what the heck is that name talking about anyway? Might I suggest the name Stiff Fortnights?
The product label promised action in 30 minutes. The website promised it takes effect in 1-2 hours. I guess if you have the time to go check out the website, you were probably waiting around for something to happen in the first 30 minutes and then gave up and checked your fantasy baseball team standings. I wasn’t feeling it in 30 minutes, but after an hour or so, I felt it. The best word I can use to describe this product? Lumber. It was like having a giant slab of lumber between my legs.
What is interesting is that there was very little “sensuousness” to this product. Its Chinese mushroom inspired ingredients got me hard alright, but my stiff knight took very little sensual pleasure among the surrounding bishops and rooks. Yeah, I’ve got a 2×4 jutting out of my pants, but what’s so sexy about a battering ram?
Being somewhat of a neophyte to the rainbow coalition of sexual enhancement products, I was somehow betrayed and disappointed by the promise versus the delivery. When I was young I was frisky and excitable and got boners just thinking about getting boners. There was no explanation and no need for this orchestrated and highly directed, obdurate blood flow to the penis. Suddenly, all the “pleasure” one would expect from an intimate afternoon roll-in-the hay with your honey was transformed into gawking at the physical wonder of drug assisted vasodilation. That’s hot.
Needless to say, my little wooden friend stayed up for a good 18-20 hours (Stiff Days-N-Nights??), with physical stimulation but no emotional frisson. I enjoyed it for what it was but hardly thought of this as a sexy experience. In addition, the product warned that 5% of users may experience headaches, which iwst99 definitely did, and I might have too, what with all the blood leaving my brain and going to my “summer home” for the weekend.
On top of that the Lubery sells this fine product in boxes of 30 for the why-not-finance inducing price of $164.50. The very enthusiastic counter-grrrl (tattoos, Peggy in “Mad Men” hairdo) assured me that this product was the most popular and seemed to have many repeat customers. Is someone taking attendance at a sex shop? Awwwwk-ward!
Welcome to the Lubery, Mr. Draper.
All things considered, Stiff Nights and its freaky web-based anime love trolls promised me that I would be hard for days, nothing more and nothing less. They delivered on that promise. However, I can’t see giving them any cock-swings for their pricy little product because instead of my cock, I just felt a hard spongy vessel filled with blood. I will give them two-and-a-half wood swings for providing the lumber necessary to provide a little weekend shade, though.