Posted Sun Jun 14, 2009 07:46 AM
Two fears despite using condoms:
1) Having sex caused me to catch an STD from the person even though she told me she is clean and had her pap smear. Fine but then what if she lied when I asked her if she had slept with anyone else since we were last together?
2) We had sex and she turns out to have gotten pregnant. Now she decides to keep the baby despite me not wanting her to.
How do you all cope with these fears?
I love sex but these two things turns me off for sure. See the problem is also I think I am polyamorous and am into kinky group sex and so it multiplies the problems or fears listed above.
Posted Sun Jun 14, 2009 08:03 AM
2. You're SOL. That is the chance you take with sex. It's her body and it's her choice. Since it's your baby it's also your responsibility.
Posted Sun Jun 14, 2009 09:36 AM
you just have to believe in each other, i mean if u didn't. why are you sleeping together in the first place? oh, a casual fling u say, well the best way to avoid that kinda cenario is just don't have casual sex. practice safe safe sex! n if she really did end up pregnant and wanna keep it..it is half of ur responsibility...
Posted Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:40 AM
If you have a relationship and have sex with her then you should trust her that she is clean. As for the pregnancy scare there is nothing you can do besides wear protection. If she gets pregnant it is her body and her choice. You will have to deal with it.
However unless the condom breaks or you don't use one you should be fairly safe. Granted they aren't 100% but there are a lot of people having sex and using condoms and not getting pregnant or a disease
Posted Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:48 AM
I think you're confusing a polyamorous relationship with group sex, but if you don't want to worry about paternity of any sort, then you might consider a vasectomy. This will solve at least the second fear.
Posted Mon Jun 15, 2009 06:10 PM
The truth is you just have to trust your partner when she tells you she hasn't slept with anyone else since the last time she slept with you. If you don't trust her, use a condom every single time. If you don't trust that she's clean, use a condom every single time. By the way, a pap smear may not detect every STD. If either of you decides to get tested, you also may want to have a blood test.
You have no control over a girl lying to you or cheating on you. You'll go crazy with worry and won't enjoy having sex if you worry about everything. Do the best you can to protect yourself, and you should remain perfectly healthy sexually. If you're using protection, the likelihood that you'll catch a disease from a girl or get a girl pregnant is greatly reduced.
Posted Mon Jun 15, 2009 08:08 PM
Posted Fri Jul 10, 2009 07:13 AM
Year ago you got a shot and got better...today you catch anything and you got it for life. And it carries a stigma with it where healthy members of society are negative towards you....never mind the physical suffering.
So....... your fears are real, justified and maybe the only thing keeping you safe. By the way, condoms do not always stop Herpes. One out of 5 adults has it. And maybe do not even know it yet. If you think this is bad, think of how much honest sex you are going to get after you get a disease. You then would have to search out diseased girls....or just forget it. One problem can be solved by getting snipped.
Do a search on CDC HIV and know what you are up against.