Can't have sex??
Posted Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:05 AM
My girlfriend and I are becoming very frustrated. We have been together for nearly three years and have dated all through high school (we're both going to college in September). Despite how long we've been together, we have only had sex once, which was yesterday. Prior to this we were both virgins.
Anyway, the issue is, we simply can't seem to figure out how to have sex! I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but let me explain the problem. Whenever we try to have sex, it seems to be impossible to get my penis into her vagina. She'll usually give me a hand job or something of that nature until I'm good and hard, and I'll eat her out to get her wet, so I know that neither of those two things are factors. I then put the condom on and attempt to have sex with her, but it ends up being extremely difficult.
First of all, I have trouble finding her vagina with my penis so sometimes she'll guide my penis to it with her hands. But even then, getting it in is a chore. I'll usually try to thrust it in, but it always just seems to "bounce off" her vagina or be pushed to the side or downwards. It just doesn't seem to want to go in. And I can only fiddle with it for so long before it kills the moment and I go soft. We've dealt with this for a long time.
We did manage to have sex once yesterday, but neither of us could even orgasm. We had already tried four times earlier in the day, and somehow on the fifth attempt it worked. It was enjoyable for us both as we got the hang of it. My girlfriend then said that she wanted to try a new position, but as soon as we tried a new one, it was back to the old problem again. And what's worse is, as soon as I put on a different condom and went back to trying missionary, it didn't work anymore! We attempted three more times before giving up for the day (she was crying and I was close to smashing something in anger).
So what could possibly be the problem? Sex is supposed to be one of the most natural acts there is, and NOBODY I know has ever told me about having similar issues with it. This just doesn't make sense to me.
I have always used Durex condoms, if that is at all relevant.
Posted Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:11 AM
Third, have her try to go on top, go slow. she may be clentching because it hurts, so thrusting hard is going to make it worse. go soft and go slow.
Don't be in a rush to get it done. It is an amazing thing, dont get frustreated either. frustrations leads to anxiety, anxiety leads to stress stress leads to clentching, and clentching makes it hurt.
So lets recap.
HER ON TOP
Posted Tue Jul 07, 2009 10:52 AM
Make sure she is relaxed, if shes's tight and crunched up it's going to be harder to get it in.
Maybe she is just really tight and you are big?
Go to the sex shop and buy a toy like a dildo and try it out together, let her get use to the idea of relaxing enough to let something inside her -- a dildo can't go soft obviously, so you don't have to worry about it.
If you wanna take it a step futhur-- then once it's in there you can fuck her with it instead for a little while as you fool around, so she is use to it -- after awhile pull it out and slip yourself in.
Best of luck
Posted Tue Jul 07, 2009 02:44 PM
Just be confident, and explore
Posted Wed Jul 08, 2009 10:16 AM
Posted Wed Jul 08, 2009 08:15 PM
Posted Sat Jul 11, 2009 01:50 AM
So my girlfriend came over yesterday and thankfully, neither of my parents were home (a nice surprise, I didn't expect that). Anyway, we got extremely into it and I got it in her no problem. We had sex for a little over an hour (I was really proud of myself, since from what I've heard, the first few times you do it you cum really fast) and even switched positions a few times. Reinserting was easy. BUT...
We went to get something to eat and then came back to my house. At this point my dad was home, but he's not the type to disturb us when we're downstairs alone. So we went for it again, only this time, it didn't work. I was quite hard, and she was decently wet (I also used some Astroglide for help) but for some reason, we were back to square one. It's weird, because I could feel myself go partially inside her, but then her vagina would "reject" it so-to-speak and I would fall back out. WTF!
Could it be that we were nervous about my dad being home, which caused her to clench? I tried my best not to let it get to me, but this is all rather annoying... :/
Anyway, thanks for your help so far everyone. When it actually worked, I was very happy.
Posted Sat Jul 11, 2009 05:58 AM
Posted Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:47 AM
10 to one says that she was either nervouse about company, or not worked up enough. it can take a lot for some people.. The first girl i slept with, I was to big for her. I could only get in 3/4 of the way. Was the tighest fuck i ever had. And it took a lot to get into her. but when I did, WOAH.
But it took time. SO BE PATIENT. good ol favorite position of mine. have her go on her knees on the bed and try from behind. usually works well for my wife and I. (shes just about as tight as the first girl )