What would you of done in this situation?
Posted Sun Jul 19, 2009 01:53 AM
To catch up quickly, there is a girl I work with, we've drunk texted eachother a couple times, flirt at work... I was going to ask her out, but waited for tonight since it was her birthday and she wanted me to go out drinking with her anyways.
So here is what happened. Went to her afternoon BBQ, had fun, and had to leave early to go to work. She said she would call later that night to see if I was still up for going out for a drink.
11:00pm rolls around, I am JUST about to go out drinking with other friends when I get her call. "Hey what's up! Right now its just my friend (female) and I, everyone else pussed out! You still want to come drinking?" I of course said sure. On the way there I get a text saying her friend forgot her ID. I get there, they don't know what to do, I said let's go ALL the way back to your place, grab her ID, and go out drinking around there. Keep in mind also they are both pretty drunk because they've been drinking all day.
We get back to her place, and there are three douchebag guys from the party earlier hanging out. One of them starts hitting on her friend, and the other two are busy talking, so she looks at me and says, "I don't know what to do." I said, "Well let's you and I go to one of the bars around here." After about 10 minutes of standing there I ask her again, "do you want to go somewhere around here? If not, I might see if other friends are still out drinking." She says she wants to grab a trash bag to go clean up the mess from earlier in the back yard. I am getting kind of bummed now, and so I follow her back. After three minutes, her neighbor comes out to help clean up, and it looks like she is about to call it a night. I've now heard the "I was all up for drinking, but now I don't know if I want to go all the way back out to a bar. I just want to try and clean this up a little."
I tell her, "You know what, I am going to head out." She apologized and said she felt really bad, but after winding down she didn't feel like going back out.
A waste of a Saturday night. Would you of done the same thing as I did and just bolt? I am really thinking about keeping her on ice for the next couple of days, no texting no calling, unless she calls or texts with an apology. Then maybe I'll respond. This really pisses me off, and I don't want to be the desperate one texting her after this debacle!
What do you think?
Posted Sun Jul 19, 2009 02:15 AM
Posted Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:57 AM
Your just one more "friend with a schlong" who doesent want to commit- untill you openly speak to her about trying to become more. I can totally feel you on the "let down" portion of the night, but then again- it was HER BIRTHDAY- so as a friend, it is your duty to simply support her in anything she wants to do- even when it is cleaning up the backyard.
Moral to the story- take a deep breath, grab your balls, ask the girl if she wants to get something for lunch, and then tell her you would like to spend more time with her as more than friends, and ask her if she would like to give that a try with you. THEN you can begin to treat her more like your personal GF, and legitimately expect her to focus more attention on you. Dont let this oppertunity pass you by, or some other dude will step in and grab her, and it will haunt you for life!
Posted Mon Jul 20, 2009 09:08 PM
Posted Sat Jul 25, 2009 02:54 AM
Posted Sat Jul 25, 2009 08:06 AM
Don't be mad at her.
Posted Sat Jul 25, 2009 08:14 AM
Don't be mad at her.
yes i agree ... and just wanna addd ... be cool
Posted Sun Jul 26, 2009 09:33 AM
Monday morning she sent me a text saying she was sorry that Saturday night was a bust. Later that night I talked to her. I told her there were no worries about Saturday night, and asked if she maybe wanted to get a drink together sometime, just the two of us.
"As friends sure! But I am just not interested in the other way."
Posted Sun Jul 26, 2009 10:34 AM
Posted Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:34 AM
Otherwise I would've left. Nothing worse than getting strung along all day and finding out in the 11th hour you wasted your time.
Posted Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:46 AM
Posted Sun Jul 26, 2009 03:54 PM
Posted Mon Jul 27, 2009 07:52 AM
Posted Mon Jul 27, 2009 08:34 AM
Even if she was into it, how did you chose to assume anything sexual would go ?
Posted Tue Jul 28, 2009 09:59 AM
The thing I wanted out of the night was to be out with her by ourselves so I could see if this (us) was actually going to go somewhere.
The fact that she called me and told me to come out at 11:00pm because she wanted to stay out that night, which meant I had to take a 45 minute trip out of my way to get there, only to get there and find out we now need to go back to her place to get an ID for her friend at my expense is what irked me. Keep in mind, she was all up for going out until we got back to her place, then she almost lost all interest suddenly.
I asked her if she wanted to go out (just the two of us) since her roommate was "occupied" and she started giving me the cold shoulder ("I don't know. I don't think so.") It wasn't that ("Hey, let's stay here instead!"). She wanted to stay around the three frat dudes on the porch (who according to her from someone else, she absolutly hates).
When we went to the back yard, I started grabbing some of the cups laying everywhere, but her neighbor came out and suddenly it was like I wasn't even there. I didn't bolt right away, but it was close to ten minutes of not talking to eachother before I said I was calling it a night.
This is why I was dissapointed.
Posted Tue Jul 28, 2009 01:07 PM