On the verge...
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 07:32 AM
Well, not quite but I have the feeling that I could get there with all what's happening around me... I wasn't sure if this was relationship issue... maybe so given that it affects the family, but since I don't have a SO, it's definitely not related to sex, so I thought the lounge was the best venue to post this.
But maybe, I should explain a little bit of what's going on. I've been trying to sell my home for a while now, and I finally got an acceptable offer, which I decided to accept with some minor modifications. So, I sent a counter-offer, and the buyer accepted it. Montreal is not a city like any other in Canada, or even North America. It's organized in a strange way... you can't make right turns when you drive (I'm not kidding), business closes at 6 pm during weekdays, some close at 9 on Fridays and Saturdays. You can't move any day you feel like it, and as crazy as it sounds everybody moves on Canada Day every year.
This week, I got the visit of a community organizer (paid by the government) who noticed I didn't have a fence like everyone else on the block, and he saw a group of children playing in the back alley. So, he asked me if he could come, do some work on the backyard for free and in return, I would let him run a series of workshops: marionettes, some cooking and other activities for the children. The activities were going to take about two hours, they were bringing food and and some teenagers to help as group leaders. So, I said sure why not and the next day he came back with a tool box and some supplies and had the kids help repair my fence and clean up the alley, and everyone seemed to have good fun with the work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this town has been my home for the last 15 years, both my children were born here. Their most developed language is French, and moving out of the province will mean that they will have to go through major challenges. To those who've never had to go through a big change like this, I envy you; but in no way I'll say that I regret having lived in different places. Now, however, I'm starting to miss Montreal already...
This week, I also had the visit of a social worker from the borough clinic. I had previously made a request for some assistance with a family situation; and normally the procedure starts by assigning a social worker that comes and visits my home and assesses the situation, then she makes a recommendation. I don't want to get into the details of the reasons I made the request, maybe later, but the social worker left with the impression that the case needed immediate attention and told me she was going to give it the highest priority. So, I was happy to hear that because I'm currently at the end of my wits dealing with the family while selling the house and the imminent move to another city.
Needless to say, I feel on the verge of insanity... I hate moving with a passion... I've done serious moves in the past, moved homes, moved cities, moved provinces, moved countries... but this is the first time that I had to pack and leave with children.
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 07:39 AM
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 08:11 AM
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 08:23 AM
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 08:45 AM
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 08:47 AM
I have made other attempts to leave the city in the last 5 years. The last serious one, was about 2 years ago... I got offered an excellent position in a startup in Alberta, and I had to turn it down because of legal custody issues. Quebec law follows a civil code different than in the rest of Canada, so here, there's not such a thing as total custody of minors... custody is always shared by both parents, so basically, my ex-husband held me down. I guess I could've gone to court and win my case, but I decided not to because the children were very scared of seeing their father without a job. Instead I took a meaningless job here and been underemployed since. Then business went down, and I got laid off. Oh well, fortunately I live in a socialist paradise, and that's not the end of the world.
Now, a couple of months ago, the father announced that he was moving to Alberta... and I don't really want to touch this angle, but I'll just say that the children love their father, they had spent time with him on a regular basis and I was happy with that. Without going into details of what I think or feel about him moving, the fact is that my children feel abandoned... I'm not working now, so I've been trying to spend as much time with them as possible, but I can see they're acting up, thus the social worker.
I've lived in Ontario before moving to Montreal, and I still have a good network of friends and business contacts in Toronto, so I'm not too worried about landing there. I think what bothers me more is to start follow up for the family situation here and then cut it short when we move.
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 09:07 AM
you are doing what's best for your kids keep up the good work
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:29 AM
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 12:09 PM
Posted Fri Jul 24, 2009 03:24 PM
I can relate to businesses not being open that often. Spent a couple of years in the Greek islands. Between Sundays, siestas, and religious holidays, you're lucky to get anything done. At first I hated it, but after awhile you just adapt. If it doesn't get done today screw it! Let's go have coffee and a smoke by the beach. Now I'm back in Vegas and everybody moves so fast with horrible attitudes. I'd take the slow life by the beach any day.
Good luck with the move. Don't forget the power of pizza and beer to bribe people into helping you get the grunt work done.
Posted Sat Jul 25, 2009 02:50 AM
Posted Sun Jul 26, 2009 09:25 AM
Posted Mon Jul 27, 2009 07:32 AM
Kids always adapt and I think they've been through the worst part already.
Posted Wed Jul 29, 2009 05:09 PM
Posted Wed Jul 29, 2009 05:29 PM
Aw damn, I'm jumping thread themes again.....
Posted Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:03 PM
- Hired some movers... they will come and put my stuff in storage until I find a place to stay, they they'll complete the move.
- Called bills and utilities to end service at the end of the month.
- Opened a bank account in Toronto.
That was the easy part... the hard part has to see with the government...
- Transferring school records: I still don't have a school for the kids in Toronto... they've been in the same school all along, but the social worker assures me that this is not a problem at all even if the kids need to go to a French language school. Apparently, I just need to call the school board in Toronto and they'll take care of everything.
- Transferring health records to Ontario: I think I've been good here because all my personal records are in one gov't clinic and one hospital, same for the kids; but it takes a long time because health records are still managed physically. Honest, I'm so glad that the government handles this just by signing a paper.
- Packing and throwing stuff away...
I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but hey, I only have two hands...
Posted Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:08 PM
Posted Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:10 PM
This is hell. Even though I warned him, the father of the children left without notifying the courts. I think I mentioned that the legal system in Québec is based on a civil code. So now, I'm a little bit uncertain as to what to do. All I know is that I have to notify the courts that I'm leaving the province and that the father is not present. In all honesty, I don't have the slighest clue of how this is going to be handled, but I'll just leave a lawyer in charge of that.
Posted Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:25 PM
All the best with the move , hope it goes well