Moving In with her....
Posted Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:19 PM
I still live with my folks, who are driving me Bat S**t insane, and it's plenty time for me to move out. My folks are experiencing some hard times financially, and I feel obligated to help, but i'm also at that age (24...) that I'd really like to be on my own, learn some independence, etc.
Que the predicament:
Someone I know has offered me a place to stay as a contractual room mate (sub-let) . I'd be written in, not just informally, at a set price of 300$/month + half utilities. Plenty fair for the area I might add.
Anyhow, We work together... Yeah, I know where this is going..
and our daily contact is "odd" but funny. She usually passes by me and says "F**k you" and I hail a "B*tch" back at her. All in good fun. At school, she's casually complimented me on how I was dressed. My issue is, I think I may be falling for her. I'm not quite sure how she'd take that.
My options seem to be:
Decline the offer for "personal reasons"
Decline the offer and tell her my feelings
Accept the offer and ignore my "personal feelings" and remain platonic
Put the chips on the table and let her figure it out.
I just can't tell what she's thinking- If she's flirting, or just a really good friend. If she's a really good friend, I don't want to loose this opportunity at friendship, and a place to live with someone i can trust, or blow it by me running my mouth when I should just shut up, move on, and be friends.
We're both totally single, and If we moved in together, I can't personally say I wouldn't stop an advance if she were to initiate it... and that might get complicated. In the same respect, if she were not to initiate anything, I would probably remain passive-aggressive about it all, and let it burn me up inside, until one or both of us wound up finding a "significant other". I want to be fair to both of us, and I want some form of clarification without ramifications of weirdness. If she looked me in the eyes today and said "We're just friends", i'd take that for what it was worth, and be happy with it. In the same token, if she said "take me now..." I probably wouldn't resist.
I'm all sorts of messed up, and kind of on a time crunch; End of year Decision I guess.
I'm open to all ideas-
-prior experiences to learn from
I really appreciate everyone's valuable feedback.
Posted Wed Oct 07, 2009 01:11 AM
Posted Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:56 PM
Posted Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:06 AM
What I mean is move in
Let her figure it out. Flirt but play dumb as if it was a "good fun" as you put it. Confessing your feelings, moving in or not, is gonna fuck you up. (IMO)
Give your folks the room they need and stay with this chick. She might wake up 2:00 in the morning, horny and looking for a dick! Guess who she's gonna pick? Not me....
Posted Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:39 AM
What I mean is move in Lol.. Yeah, I really want to. Dad's currently out of a job and the house may go back to the bank.. so I'm concerned what they'll end up doing though.
Let her figure it out. Flirt but play dumb as if it was a "good fun" as you put it. Confessing your feelings, moving in or not, is gonna fuck you up. I've got a feeling that you're right on the money. if something happens, it happens. if it dosent, then so be it. (IMO)
Give your folks the room they need and stay with this chick. She might wake up 2:00 in the morning, horny and looking for a dick! Guess who she's gonna pick? Not me....Rather blunt, but I suppose that scenario could present itself...
**Thanks for the input man. This is the kind of opinions I'm searching for... Different scenarios to play out, etc.
Posted Sat Oct 10, 2009 02:36 PM
I would NOT invite any guy to live with me that i was not EXTREMELY good friends with or hoped to "hook up with". Maybe that's just me though. I took it as you two are friends, but haven't known eachother a significant amount of time or anything of that nature.
She wants you.
Posted Sat Oct 10, 2009 02:57 PM
Exactly my thoughts.
Posted Sun Oct 11, 2009 02:53 AM
I have to say that moving in together at the time you're starting a relationship (possibly) puts way too much pressure on the relationship. You need time to get used to each other before making such a big step.
I also have a collection of stories (from my friends) about workplace romances gone wrong. It's another ugly situation. When people are hurt from a relationship, it will get around and often far more than knowledge about it.
Basically, I think that moving in with somebody that you want to have a relationship with and that you work with is an extremely bad idea.
But, what do I know; follow your heart.
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:29 PM