Confused on wife's interest in sex
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 03:13 PM
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 03:22 PM
Let's dissect exactly what your leaving out.
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 03:49 PM
When we do have sex 9 times out of 10 it is very mundane. She doesn't like foreplay, about 30 seconds of me rubbing her and she wants to start intercourse. And once we start having sex, as soon as she gets off she wants me to finish. Once I talked her into using a vibrating ring on the honeymoon that she got at her bachelorette party, but the result was even worse because she just got off quicker and wanted me to do the same.
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 07:06 PM
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:03 PM
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:04 PM
BINGO. We have a winner!
The next thing he will hear is: "It will be better when we have a baby." Bullshit. The truth of the matter is, the relationship will never be better than it was in the beginning. Everything else is downhill. If it was sucking then, its going to continue to suck and drag you down until ya'll seperate. Thats the bottom line.
Its time to pull the ejection handle bro cause ya'll are going down in flames.
Posted Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:27 PM
This is ridiculous. Life is too short to be so deprived, man.
Posted Tue Oct 13, 2009 07:37 AM
I even took some advice and tried to set a proper mood last night. When she got home I had cooked her favorite meal, the house was spotless, after dinner we watched one of her favorite romantic movies, and we even made it as far as the bedroom, but after a little kissing she was like "I have to go grade papers, I told the kids I would give them back to them tomorrow." I know that she isn't super comfortable with her weight.(Up until about 1 1/2 years ago she hadn't weighed over 120, now shes close to 165) and there have been trust problems in our relationship, she cheated on me when we were first dating with her ex of 5 years and didn't tell me till much later and I have lied to her about my past that she later found out. But I thought that was behind us when we went down the aisle. I just don't know what to do.
Posted Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:59 PM
Or, you know, something along those lines. Leave it as a note, or tell her in person.
It's a serious matter. Tell her this is serious business (internet is seriuz buziness, sorry I had to say it haha) and go from the heart.
You have ONE life. Enjoy sexuality before it slips away, you'd be surprised how fast I can happen, it can seem like a blink of an eye.
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 07:45 AM
My wife graduated high school a year ahead of me. She also took college courses while attending high school. I couldn't take college courses because of sports in high school, I was offered a scholarship to play baseball at a major university but lost it due to an arm injury at the end of my senior year. So by the time I graduated high school she was already a year and a half ahead of me in college. When we met I was in my first year of college in Ohio and she was in her "2nd" year in Virginia. But when I moved down in the summer following my first year I lost all college credits because Ohio uses a Quarter system (10 week) and Virginia uses a Semester system (15 week) so I lost a year of college. So that put me starting over again with my 1st year and her in her 3rd/4th year. After my 2nd year she graduated and wanted to move out of her parents house. So I had to quit school to get a job so we could afford the house she wanted. That has been a year ago and I haven't got to start back to school since. So it all comes down to ME quitting school for HER and now she is mad that I don't make more money than she does.
The thing is she said she understood why I don't make as much, but it still doesn't change the way she feels about me.
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 07:59 AM
Either way you two need to talk A successful marriage is based on good communication and compromise. I lost my sex drive for over 2 1/2 years but still made sure I kept my man happy.
It is normal for sex to be more frequent at the start of the relationship and die down. RG and I are always up and down with periods of frequent sex then some lulls.
Oh and we women want you men to do more work and cook dinner etc but when you do it out of the blue we see that you are expecting "payback" and it isn't as lovely a gesture.
Make sure you do your share of the housework all the time.
Remember foreplay begins long before the bedroom. Being flirty and enjoing each other should be part of your usual day.
Oh and it would have been wise to seek marriage councelling to work through these issues long before getting married...a ring on your finger is no bandaid for a relationship.
to be honest it sounds like she is a manipulative biatch
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 08:15 AM
She is not on birth control, she has had some friends who were on it for so long that they were unable to conceive so she, with my input, decided that she should not be on it. We always use protection, a few times on the honeymoon we started without it but stopped so I could put one on, so that we don't have any unexpected surprises. We both want kids, just not right now.
We do talk, but not as much as I would like. If we have a problem I want to talk through it, she just wants to yell at me then have me apologize for whatever it was that happened. But I won't apologize unless I was in the wrong. She was a very spoiled child and she is still expecting to be spoiled like that. She even calls her mom every night when she gets home to tell her she got home ok. That is a little weird to me, but I only talk to my parents once or twice a month. Don't get me wrong though, I love to spoil her, but I would just like to get something in return. And I don't mean sex. Tonight is "Back rubbing Wednesday" for her. A day she has designated for me to rub her back until she falls asleep, but I can't remember the last time she rubbed mine. And if I don't do it, or fall asleep before she does, then tomorrow will suck for me.
She can be a manipulative bitch, but she can also be very sweet, I just seem to get more bitch than sweet since we got married.
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 10:48 AM
Any possibility for advancement or working more hours, by any chance? Also, suck it up and be a man. Try to share responsibilities both ways equally and don't "spoil" here, you might not want to hear this but pleasure and comfort has to go both ways, and if not one person always gets into the bitch seat in the relationship.
Ask yourself if the routine you have makes you happy. If it doesn't, then make it so she and you can stay happy. She has a hard time at work? Well boo fucking hoo, we all work long hours, and yet we choose to stay and be in our relationships and put tremendous efforts for another person. If they choose and desire the relationship, they must do the same.
Also, the back rubbing this. Ok, really, say you wan't a back scratch or rub as well before you get to work on her. If she refuses or makes an excuse, then please, PLEASE be a hard ass. Sometimes people need it.
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 11:01 AM
I would say "It will be better when we divorce"
Posted Wed Oct 14, 2009 04:38 PM
Posted Tue Oct 27, 2009 04:12 PM
Posted Tue Oct 27, 2009 08:39 PM
Posted Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:17 PM
you can either A. stand up to her now, realize its not getting any better and leave her, OR
B. wait 5 years, get no sex, and have the same outcome as A, but possibly with more complications, such as a kid.
and back rub until your asleep wednesdays? fuck that shit right in the ass until it dies. dont get me wrong, i love giving backrubs and spoiling my girl
but i HATE doing ANYTHING romantic when it is expected or demanded of me. it goes from you being an amazing partner to you being controlled.
RETURN TO SENDER.
Posted Tue Oct 27, 2009 11:18 PM
I'm guessing she wanted it lots in the beginning because it was a new relationship.