How do you initiate sex with your girlfriend?
Posted Tue Oct 20, 2009 07:35 PM
She's very much the type that wants me to take charge, but the problem there is that she often ends up just lying there with me giving her pleasure (until penetration, at which point she seems to have more life). I might pleasure her for a good 15 minutes, but if I ask her for a ******* she do it for maybe 1 or 2 min... She says what I do to her in foreplay does feel amazing though :/
She says she's attracted to me (she's a horrible liar, so I believe her), and we both do love each other. I don't know how to initiate sex with her... making out doesn't work... kissing her all over doesn't work... taking charge and bringing her to bed doesn't work... all the things I used to do with easy results in past relationships don't do anything here. I've tried everything to help her de-stress. When she's stressed, it is all-consuming for her and nothing I do gets rid of it... I've tried setting the mood, making her a wonderful dinner, complementing her (and meaning it), massages, everything... and nothing works. I've even asked her how I can help destress her... she says she doesn't know. Help! How does everyone initiate sex that feels like it comes naturally?
(p.s. the standard answer of giving her a massage... a massage won't work. If she stays lying down for any length of time without doing anything she may fall asleep. Anyway, I've tried this, and it didn't work.)
Posted Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:31 PM
Posted Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:38 PM
Don't worry, I'm not spamming the internet lol:knuddel:
Posted Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:48 PM
Posted Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:28 PM
Also, I think it can improve... if she can stop stressing about every little thing in her life. This is why I want to stick it out... it can change.. I believe it.
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 03:53 PM
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 03:59 PM
A lot of people slip down this hill.
I have been with my SO for 10 years, and it goes up and down, depending on the effort we put into the relationship / sex life as to how it is at that point.
Sometimes though you get all the effort on one side and the other isn't willing to match it. Try and talk about it, if that fails then I can't tell ya how to fix it. What I can say is that I am in nearly the same boat cause my SO won't show me pretty much any attention unless I practically beg for it, and I have unfortunately started looking elsewhere. Of course I am not going to ride someone else's boat until I get off mine (not a cheater), but I am looking at the other boats out there and they look fun.
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 04:15 PM
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 05:32 PM
Sad to say, I have started to realize that woman either want sex or they don't. When they want sex, sometimes they wont be in the mood but you can get them in the mood and go from there... when they dont want sex? There isnt anything you can do.
One thing you said is sex doesnt always have to be special and she doesnt understand that.. I always want it to be special, but I would love to have a quickie just the same--but if SHE doesnt believe in just a casual fuck, then like when shes isnt in the mood, there really isnt a way to change her mind...
Now, these are just my opinions, so they could be totally wrong, but I feel like i'm in a very similar situation and thought I would share
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 05:44 PM
Oh she will give in, but never really wants it.
good call, i've had that, its like using her to masturbate with... not really all that fun....
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 05:49 PM
have you asked her the things that do turn her on? had a couple of girls now that love it when you breathe on the back of their neck, so you just play it normal, as though you're not chasin sex, lay down to go to sleep, spoon them and breathe hot on the back of their neck and BAM! lol
either way you definitely need to talk to her about it, a good idea might be as well to put it more into "feelings", how a lack of sex leaves you feeling devalued and underappreciated... would probably work better than "a man needs sex" hahaha but its always good to kinda turn the table and put it into kind of a chick-talk for her... especially with her takin more than givin, women love to complain about the exact same thing!
see how you go mate
Posted Wed Oct 21, 2009 06:02 PM
this is the funniest thing I have read / heard all day ...
you sir have won the internets
Posted Thu Oct 22, 2009 07:47 AM
Posted Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:00 AM
Posted Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:31 PM
Posted Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:53 PM
Posted Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:57 PM
valuable info detected
Posted Thu Oct 22, 2009 01:52 PM