Oral Sex Issues... :C
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 01:53 AM
Here's where, I would like some help. I've only been able to make him cum by oral once. When he did, we were in a 69 position. He's only ever cum three or four times in his whole life by blow jobs. It may sound cocky to say, but I never had this kind of trouble before with any of my previous boyfriends. Other things I've read saw to tease him and mix it up, but when I do that, he starts to go limp. Then instead, I'll get going in a steady rhythm and go and go and go, he tells me he's right there on the brink of cumming, but for some reason can't. We don't have trouble with him cumming at all any other way we have sex. He can even masturbate himself.
What am I doing wrong?! Help me please!
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 02:17 AM
Rest assured, it isn't you. Side question: Is he cut or uncut?
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 02:30 AM
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 02:44 AM
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 04:28 AM
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 04:33 AM
(There are areas on a penis so sensitive, just touching can make a guy wince. Ask him where the very sensitive areas are...then try not to hit them.) Basically, intense pleasure can sometimes border on pain...where the brain actually thinks the penis is hurt a bit and shuts down nerves/ blood supply.(as in a cut finger that goes numb) I'm also guessing that ...because you are not achieving what you want as soon as others you've experienced, you try harder which actually complicates the problem and frustrates both of you. My suggestion is to go slower and take your time. Manually bring it up gently till hard...then proceed slower. Use an edible lube if necessary to take off the sharp edges.
It also could be a heat issue where the penis will not work if it's too hot. Cold water on a wash cloth usually solves this.
The cut or uncut issue doesn't apply here....because, as you said, he can masturbate fine.
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 05:41 AM
Posted Fri Oct 23, 2009 05:47 PM
Posted Sat Oct 24, 2009 08:55 AM
There is no such thing as a bad BJ, some are just better than others.
When you're both relaxed, comfortable with each other, and not even concentrating on the issue, I would wager he would be a lot more likey to cum.
Women are sometimes content with a good night of sex even without an orgasm by any means.
That can hold true for us guys sometimes.
Sometimes my (male) stamina just won't let me finish while she's ready to stop. I don't take it as her insulting me or she did something wrong for me to not orgasm. It's still been a night of fun.
I think the main issue is that you feel insecure about not getting him to cum.
Relax, enjoy your time together and:
Practice, practice, practice.
Practice makes perfect.
Posted Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:31 PM
To give a great bj you have to love doing it so like the thought of being on your knees with your lips wrapped around his cock just makes your mouth water and not just do it to please him. A man can tell the difference just like a girl can tell if a guy loves eating her pussy.
Posted Sun Oct 25, 2009 04:14 AM
Posted Sun Oct 25, 2009 03:57 PM
Pressure around the top half of the base of the penis makes the head swell and makes it more sensitive to what you're doing with your mouth and tongue. It also helps to press into the pubic bone a bit, provides sensation and keeps him from thrusting unexpectedly.
Meanwhile, focus on the flared lip of the head with your mouth, and rub or flick your tongue against the underside of the head (frenulum). The entire head is sensitive, but the pleasure mostly comes from that ridge. Stimulation of the head towards the tip can border on being uncomfortable.
Porn makes a show out of long in and out motions, and hand motion on the shaft. Don't get me wrong, neither of those things is bad, but they are geared towards putting on a show, not giving maximum pleasure.
One other thing you can do with your free hand is massage the ends of both balls. They're tricky to keep still so a ponytail holder or some sort of elastic adjustable band around the balls can help. Without a band of some sort, it's more difficult to keep firm contact with the ends of the testicles, so it doesn't work as well. I've found that technique also helps with blue balls after a lot of sex. Five minutes of massaging my balls like that and the discomfort goes away.
If nothing else works, try reverse psychology and tell him to relax and tell him not to cum.
Posted Sun Oct 25, 2009 04:01 PM
Posted Mon Oct 26, 2009 06:04 PM
I tend to find this true among guys that jack off a lot. Make your bf abstain from stroking it fo a week then go down on him.