Am I doing something wrong?
Posted Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:37 AM
I met this girl at a party and she ended up getting really drunk. I took care of her the entire night by just being with her and making sure she doesn't die or do something stupid. I called one of her friends (she asked me to) and I put her in her friend's car and that was the end of the night. The next day she texts me back thanking me and everything and so we started talking from then on. We talked a lot during the next week or so. I invited her to go hangout and do something. She gets all excited and says yes but when the time comes, she ends up not feeling well or some excuse. She was supposed to go to a party with me last week and she said she was still sick. Then today we were texting and she mentioned she once took a shot everytime someone said a word in a movie and that she wanted to do it again. She said hinted that she wanted to do it so I asked her that we should do it tonight. The day goes on and she's anticipating tonight and then when it was time for me to pick her up, she doesn't respond to my calls or texts. I don't know why she keeps backing out of things. Am I doing something wrong? She did mention that she recently broke up with her boyfriend a week before I met her so I'm not too sure if that's a factor.
Posted Fri Oct 30, 2009 01:15 AM
Posted Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:21 PM
Posted Fri Oct 30, 2009 02:54 PM
1. She could be trying to play the game. Girls sometimes feel that it's necessary to play, but don't generally know how to go about it.
2. She could need the thrill of being wanted. This would have to do with psych and self esteem issues.
3. She could be afraid of seeing you. Again, for many reasons, she might be avoiding things because she fears what will happen, either in a good or a bad way.
4. Maybe she really did have to cancel or have something pop up. It's hard to say why, but who knows what's really going on in her life. Maybe her parents are super strict and she couldn't escape at that moment. Maybe her phone broke this last time. You just never know.
In any case, I'd take the same action - tell her outright that your plans keep falling through at the last minute, so now it's her turn. You'd be happy to see her (make sure she knows that your door is open), but she will have to take the initiative. She'll also have to follow up and confirm just before meeting.
My final question is: Are you sure this is all worth it? For sure, something is up, and it will rear its head over and over (probably in different ways) if you get to the point of having a relationship.
BTW, how old are you two?
Posted Fri Oct 30, 2009 04:45 PM
Posted Fri Oct 30, 2009 08:04 PM
Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 12:26 AM
Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 01:08 AM
It really doesn't piss me off but it kinda bugs me and wonders what's going on. I'll let here know though next time I see her. She probably did find something else to do but the thing is that she wanted to spend time with me that night and when she doesn't answer her phone or txt me back then it's weird. And I never let one girl stand in my way of meeting more girls =P
Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 01:52 AM
Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 02:30 AM
Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 05:14 AM
I bet you no guy has had the guts to say this to her-- She will either be pissed or introspective (in a positive sense)--
If she gets mad a you for this, consider her doing you a big favor-- Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who plays games and who is inconsiderate? And don't get me started on her getting wasted and then you coming to the rescue-- Once is an accident-- Twice is an alcohol abuse issue, which I promise you will lead you into some unnecessary drama or worse--
Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 11:58 AM
Jeepin man said:
Don't go so far as to not contact her, but don't initiate plans-- Let her do that-- And tell her that you're leaving the ball in her court about making plans, as she seems to have a hard time following through on the ones you make-- Make sure she knows you're interested, though!
Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 11:14 AM
Posted Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:41 PM
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:08 AM
Posted Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:12 AM
shes also a college chick who gets trashed at every opportunity. she probably gets around a bit, she might not even know she does.
and some women seriously enjoy messing with guys like it looks like she did to you. and then they laugh at you with their friends. fucked up world.. especially with the college environment.
Posted Thu Nov 05, 2009 01:35 PM
Posted Thu Nov 05, 2009 02:08 PM