[qqqq]

Hi folks, i'm not sure whether this topic has been covered or not in this forum. But lately i've been thinking and wondering, ....i've been seeing quite a few intteracial couples walking side by side lately in auckland city (new zealand). But what strikes me is that all of them are of this type:

black women/men and white women/men

asian girl and white guy


but none of this:

asian guy and white girl


why is that? Is it because we're not good enough? shorter avg height?
Is it the same in the states?

[meow]

Let me get this straight. You are an Asian man of Czech origin living in Australia?

I'm American, and I lived in Asia for 4 years. I know several Caucasian-female/Asian-male couples. However, it is not nearly as common as Asian-female/Caucasian-male combinations. From my observations, there were a few factors:

1. Asian women tend to take care of men more than Caucasian women do. So, Asian women are a pleasant surprise to Caucasian men and vice versa, but not the other way around - Asian men don't seem as pleased with the way Caucasian women treat them, and Caucasian women aren't pleased with the expectations put on them by Asian men. It's a cultural mismatch.

2. Men are generally considered to be higher status than women in the countries where I lived. This translates to families not being tolerant of their sons marrying outside of their race/nationality. Families seem to be much more accepting of their daughters doing the same. In the countries I lived in, family is immensely important, and their wishes outrank any personal feelings.

3. Where I lived, men don't ask women out. Either women were more forward in asking men out, or families and friends arrange meetings and/or marriages. As an American woman living in Asia, I wasn't comfortable asking men out. Since the men didn't generally ask me out, I was sadly single there.

So, it had nothing to do with anything physical. It was purely cultural. And, since your profile indicates that you're not living in or from Asia (but have Asian ethnicity), this information may or may not apply to you. It could be that aspects of Asian culture were passed down in your family.

My friends who were Asian males expresses similar thoughts. First of all, height is not as important in America (and I believe, other European countries) as it is in Asia. I learned that one the hard way! Saying somebody is short is the equivalent of, or perhaps even worse than, calling an American woman fat. Most women seem to prefer being with a man taller than they are, but how much taller is much less relevant. From my friends, I got the feeling that (the man's) confidence was the biggest barrier. They seemed so intimidated by Caucasian women that they were unable to talk to them, much less ask them out.

So, my advice is to get out there, be confident (not arrogant), be open to cultural differences and compromises, and be proactive. Men get turned down a lot - all of them (and I do feel sorry for them in this regard). It's the way things go in American culture. But if you don't keep trying, you have zero chance of success.

[B A]

I think in the US there may well be a physical thing also. Asian women to the American men look very feminine. Unfortunately Asian men look somewhat feminin to Americans also.

[Beaucr]

As an American living in Central America, I really appreciate the extra cultural education that comes with dating someone who was not raised in your culture. There are so many exciting differences that make for fun conversation topics, and that just makes the similarities all the better. There will always be closed minded people touting the old phrase "race traders" or what have you, but in the end, you just have to either blow them off or beat them down. The world is a wonderful place, and it is a shame that more people dont go and taste all of the flavors it has to offer.

[a_lil_too_sweet]

hmmm maybe you just havent seen them yet, I've got a few friends who are asian that are dating white girls!

[DevilishlyDark+]

My only question is, why are you so eager to date a white woman? Are WE not good enough?

In all seriousness, I know a LOT of white girls that would love to date an asian guy, especially a feminine one, but there is bad news too. They tend to be, not exactly attractive on the outside (most of them not on the inside either, with a few exceptions).

I think you worry too much.

[McAllister]

I read something before on an anime-geek-otaku forum saying that asian men mostly fall in the "nerdy-geek" category by default, on top of being of smaller stature. This would be, plus all that is being said before, the reason why. Plus american girls tend to favor more men that are a bit more virile in looks, "macho" if i can use the word... there are very few asian men even among actors and celebs, that i would qualify of "macho"; and i watched quite a lot of asian cinema!

[rahspeedy]

I'm an Asian in Australia and I have never had any relationship experience so I've never experienced any sort of discrimination but I think there are plenty of white girls who would be open minded to dating an Asian guy but maybe Asian guys don't take the risk for fear of rejection possibly or being judged for crossing racial lines since we're here talking about how uncommon it is, so people might be scared off by this fact?

[Olive]

I don't think Asian men should be interpreted in the same way Westerns are... They are not particularly big just as Asian women are dainty, but that's not the point. Anyway, I think this guy exudes coolness to heights I've never perceived before...

[Elio]

It's probably partly geographical, cultural, and based upon your subjective memory and vision. I lived somewhere in the US where Caucasians were the minority, but somehow all of my past history is with white and hispanic women. Some white women have Asian fetishes, too. Also, that guy was my favorite racer hands down, not because he was Asian, but because he was the most chillaxed racer.

[Davendra]

Jon and Kate Plus 8? I realize it didn't end well, but there is an example.



I am asian (well, south asian or indo-asian if you prefer) and I dated a French Canadian girl for 5 years.

[setiadi]

B A, on Wed Feb 17, 2010 07:24 AM, said:

I think in the US there may well be a physical thing also. Asian women to the American men look very feminine. Unfortunately Asian men look somewhat feminin to Americans also.

Nah..... I think most of us (asian man) we just look goofy nerdy...., while white female more attractive to macho looking guy....

[setiadi]

DevilishlyDark+, on Wed Apr 21, 2010 09:22 AM, said:

My only question is, why are you so eager to date a white woman? Are WE not good enough?

In all seriousness, I know a LOT of white girls that would love to date an asian guy, especially a feminine one, but there is bad news too. They tend to be, not exactly attractive on the outside (most of them not on the inside either, with a few exceptions).

I think you worry too much.

We are not saying that Asian Female aren't good enough, just some of us preferred white female, something you cannot help, I'm Chinese/Indonesian living in the US since 1989, and as far as I can remember, I always been attracted to white female. even when i was living in asia, I just simple don't date anybody since i do not have any attraction to them. That's all, is not that Asian female aren't good enough, I guess some of us just preferred white female.