Girlfriernd has a MUCH lower sex drive than me. Advice?? Breaking up is something I'd rather not do.. so please help.
Posted Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:03 PM
She has always refused to do anything sexual in a car and refuses to even do anything in a Hotel (when the opportunity arose for us to have a room).
She told me straight up that she has a low sex drive and absolutely no drive to have sex at all. She had been single for 2 years before she met me and she had no sex with anyone during that time - but instead masturbated a lot.
She used to have sex as often as she could with her EX's however. And her excuses for this are that she is more mature now than to just jump on dick whenever she gets the chance and that she doesn't have much of a sex drive because of her being single for so long. And that while she had sex often with her EX's - it was because she was young and horny because sex was all new to her.
She masturbates every morning and every night.. (most times) and she says she does this for a release not because she is horny at all. (but I feel as if this could be lowering her need for male affection with me)
SEX ASIDE - everything in our relationship is OK. She loves me and has told me straight out that she is afraid of losing me and that she doesn't want this issue to come between us. She loves to hold me and just lay down with me and watch TV. We have a lot of amazing and fun times together.
But I'm not getting the sex that I need.... and I've talked to her about it. I just feel unwanted by my own GF... and I've told her this.... and when I do.. she feels like she is being pressured... and she says that she feels like she "has" to do this. I don't want her to feel that way.. I want her to WANT to have sex with me... and be DYING to rip off my clothes and fuck me.
How can I get her sex drive up?? Because other than breaking up (which isn't something I really want to do over SEX)... I am lost as to what to do.
Posted Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:16 PM
She masturbates? That's a good start. Try masturbating together. See if she finds that a romantic enough combination of cuddly and sexy.
Posted Wed Mar 10, 2010 09:29 PM
Posted Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:22 PM
but my gf doesnt masterbate...
Posted Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:13 PM
In the end....you have to decide what you want to do about it. You have to communicate your feelings though. Maybe come to have happy medium. You cant expect her to want to have sex 10 times a week if she just does not have the drive.......but she cant expect you to go without. If you cant meet somewhere in the middle then it may be best for the both of you to move on.
Posted Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:01 AM
Posted Wed Mar 24, 2010 06:03 PM
Nature is a cruel thing though. My SO and I joke that over the next 10 years her sex drive will likely rise and likely peak at the exact moment that mine is dropping off. The key is to make sure that you take measures to keep you sex drive high.
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2010 08:07 AM
So true. I'm at the point in my relationship where my husband's sex drive has calmed down. Now I had heard that marriage can do that to a man toward his woman, but then he confessed that he doesn't even notice other women in the street like he used to.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure if we had met in our twenties when he was super horny and I wasn't very horny, we would have had problems. Now I think we are matched pretty well. But he seems to be more upset about things dropping off on his end, but I think he feels like he's having a mid-life crisis.
Posted Mon Mar 29, 2010 07:22 PM
I don't know what the reason of the mismatch is... Would it be that a higher power intended mature women to educate younger men?
Posted Tue Mar 30, 2010 06:09 PM
Anyway, I used to be in the same situation as you in the past, and in my case, the imbalance of desire just increased during the relationship and when I felt unwanted, it gradually destroyed the relationship. When I met a girl who has the same sex drive as me, things are much better and the satisfaction from this relationship can´t be compared to my previous relationship when the girls were doing the best to avoid sex and I felt as a complete loser, full of pain and anger. Now it is much better, so sometimes it can be really better to look for a sexually compatible partner (I do not want to say that you should do that if you do not feel so)