[RatedM]

long story, I've been with my girlfriend for years now and all is good (Even though its been bumpy lately)

A few weeks ago, she and I were talking on the phone when she said she received a text from her 1st love that she hasnt heard from in years. She said that he sent one text that said "he wasn't sure if this was still her phone number but he was just checking in and saying hello"

I tried to play it cool and just hoped she wouldn't reply. I never flat out said "DONT REPLY TO THAT LOSER!" because i didnt want to come off jealous or anything. So we got off the phone and that was that.

but,

Me being me, I checked her phone records online and saw that he sent 3 texts in a row and that she later replied. Now, before you all jump on my back ans say "Dude, you're overreacting, its just a text" This girl got messed over bad by this guy a bunch of years ago and hurt her feelings bad. He got a family with the person he cheated on her with and you would think that would just scar a girl for life. However, when we first dated, he would still be trying to call her and get back with her because he realized he made a mistake and she was falling for his games!! i didnt even know they were talking. We got serious though and she cut off contact

Now, a few years later, he randomly texts her and she could have just ignored it but NOOO she replied and I will never know what she really said because she is sneaky in that one sense. She's not a cheater but she wont tell me the truth in this sense (atleast i dont think) Also, she always jokes about how he was her first love and how she would get back with him if she could but then cover it up by saying she is just kidding

Someone help me, we been on the rocks lately and I feel this is the last straw. I'm all for someone staying in contact with their ex....aslong as they broke up on GOOD TERMS. She is too nice and gave him the attention he wanted, now I'm sure he will text any time he wants now because she gave the impression that she not mad (if i know her)

Guys & Girls, help me, I need advice! How should i confront her? I feel like no matter what, I wont be able to outdo the "1st love of her life" She is weak and I feel she just cant let go of their good past but hell, if a girl did me wrong like he did, no matter what I'LL DROP HER LIKE A BAD HABIT, NO MATTER HOW MANY GOOD YEARS WE HAD....its all about the last thing you remember that person by.

[Nurse_britney]

I would not even consider replying to an ex if I was serious with someone... Just from what u've typed it sounds like she still has feelings for him.. (sorry) u prob don't wanna hear that but if ur gut feeling didn't tell u that u wouldn't have posted all that, if u get me? Talk to her and tell her that it's bothering u, as for not letting her know ur jealous, why?? I think that it's sweet if my bf is jealous as it means he kinda cares (as long as it's not ooverpowering all the time jealous)

[Nurse_britney]

Although u don't know what she said in the text... She could have told him to f off... U need to talk to her

[meow]

I get random love emails from a bad ex. As pathetic as this is, I get some pleasure from telling him how big of an asshole he is! So, my records would be the same as hers, and I wouldn't even consider getting back with him.

It's not so great to be checking her phone records, but I can't blame you, because I'd do the same! I do hope that she gave you that power and that you didn't just take it.

As for bringing it up, I'd just do it casually, like this: "So, what happened with that ex-bf? Did you answer him?" She'll either tell you the truth, or you'll have to figure out what to do or say next. Don't rush into it in anger, though.

[RatedM]

Welp she just told me that she is trying to move foward and thats why she didn't reply to his text and deleted it

THAT BITCH LIED!!!

now what guys?

[Jade]

Dump her you already don't trust her since you went through her phone records

[RatedM]

we are texting and she is seriously just lying to my face. How can i expose her?

[Miss_C.]

Name calling isn't going to get you anywhere with her. I suggest you don't call her a bitch to her face when you actually talk (rather than text each other) about this issue.

If you don't trust her, then I agree with Jade. Just break up. The communication in your relationship seems to me to be lacking.

Maybe she really is trying to move on and forget about this guy, so she could have told him off (like Nurse_britney said), and maybe she didn't tell you because she was afraid you'd react like you are reacting.

Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out for the best.

[RatedM]

she wont answer my calls. I flipped on her earlier so I guess I'm playing the waiting game but she did lie so I dont give a f*ck.

[Jade]

you are handling this really stupidly.

[B A]

I have had conversations with ex lovers, even gone to eat and such while I was with someone else. I've never hid it from my present lovers but would not have let them stop me either. I have slept in the same bed with an ex and not had or wanted sex but not at a time when I was going with another.

[Pandora]

1. first loves are different, not because they're necessarily 'special' people, but because they opened up a part of us. they made that part of us, made an indelible mark. you need to get that.
2. talking to him doesn't make her weak
3. she may have lied because she knew how you would react
4. i'm sure she will stop talking to him when all the bullshit from before has been rationalised, but hopefully she'll do that in her own good time not yours

wtf? this means, start being a good fried and recognise that she is finishing off a journey and it would be nice if you were a nice friend and lover, rather than thinking it's all about you.

[Mrs. Chief]

I'm still friends with several of my ex-BFs...there's nothing to worry about, nor do I hide it from my husband. As was mentioned....first loves are typically very special to women. And of course, it's always nice be remembered fondly.

As for you...you've called her a bitch and said she can just fuck off. Then you want ideas on how to expose her. Expose her to whom? You know what you think you know. While none of us can know for sure...you have certainly provided an excellent reason why she wouldn't want to tell you. If she can't trust your reaction to the information, then it's quite foolish for you to blame her for not informing you.

It's time to grow up.

[brokenwindow13]

RatedM, on 11 March 2010 - 08:37 PM, said:

she wont answer my calls. I flipped on her earlier so I guess I'm playing the waiting game but she did lie so I dont give a f*ck.

You pretty young?

sound like it with the way you are handling it.

Yeah.....she lied but you need to talk to her face to face....not text. Tones and feelings can be lost in text. You need to have a talk with her. If she is that untrustworthy then dump her and move on.

[xChubbyDollx]

Curious as to what happened next... You still around, RatedM?

[Shaco]

Dump your thinking - your wasting time thinking about one girl.

She lied? Humans do it all the time.

Don't be a girl and sneaky check her phone.

Don't "try" to secretly see what shes up to so your ego will have a party that you were right.

And don't obsess with her. Learn to really not care. And the first lesson is - realize that she is nothing special.

Cheers