A few questions, concerns, and just random statements.
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 02:42 PM
Here's the kicker. We go at it, and right before I feel like I'm about to cum, I'll pull out, and I'll usually cum on her chest (she loves this). More than once (3 times actually) I've not been able to cum... I'll fell it coming very strong, then I'll pull out, and nothing happens. I've tried masturbating, but I can't "bring myself to it" what's up with this?
Now, after the deed is done, she is usally left without orgasm... because she's usually (99% of the time) "almost there" when I have to pull out, and then she loses hers. She then resorts to "Bob", and this takes best part of 30 or 45 minutes for Bob to give it to her, when I can have her there in like 10 minutes.. Is this normal?
She IS on birth control pills. We're just both too afraid for me to cum in her..
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 04:51 PM
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 06:15 PM
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 06:23 PM
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 07:46 PM
BTW,please don't take offence at what I'm saying, I don't know the nature of the relationship and am starting from a basic place to cover all the bases.
If instead, you begin to consider sex as communication, making love for the enjoyment of the process rather than to reach the conclusion, and just for the sheer joy of pleasuring your partner and yourself without caring if you ever reach orgasm, two things eventually will happen. Sex will be a lot more fun, and you probably will start cumming again, as the pressure is gone.
I started to say "You need to be willing to fail, that is, have a full extended lovemaking session without having an orgasm," but that is wrong - if you are thinking you are willing to fail, you're still thinking goal-oriented. You need to enjoy the act for itself, not as a path to orgasm. This will remove the performance pressure - and for a while, replace it with a "what the fuck do I do now?" pressure, or perhaps a forceful demand to "relax, dammit!" - the ultimate oxymoron. But that will go away after a couple of sessions, and you should be fine.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 08:06 PM
Posted Sun Mar 19, 2006 08:43 PM
consider sex as communication, making love for the enjoyment of the process rather than to reach the conclusion, and just for the sheer joy of pleasuring your partner and yourself without caring if you ever reach orgasm.....