6 year old relationship help please
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 02:34 AM
Is she cheating?
What could be going on to all of a sudden get so loose?
And why so dry?
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 04:45 AM
Maybe medical assistance is required.
If there are no medical problems, then she could possibly be cheating with someone or something.
Look under the bed for an extra large Kong Dong, or does she like to visit farms on a regular basis?
Then, maybe you should point blank ask her why she is no longer aroused by you.
So many problems can be resolved by having a little open and honest communication. Not through texting, email, or phone only face to face will work.
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 05:17 AM
You both have been in this relationship for six years, so don’t begin judging her or questioning yourself. Could she be cheating? Yes, she could, but that would not cause any of these problems, if anything, I think they would indicate a lower probability of cheating.
I disagree with Mojojojo about asking her why she is not aroused by you. The simple truth is that her state of arousal may have nothing to do with this. Thinking that a woman who doesn’t self lubricate during arousal means she is not aroused is like thinking that a man with erectile dysfunction isn’t aroused by his partner. It just simply is not true. I will say that if you’ve been having sex when she’s been dry, then she has probably found sex to be painful, and therefore not something to wish for. Also, please understand, that the ‘tightness’ of a woman vagina is as important to her pleasure as much as it is important to her partner’s pleasure. So if she is no longer getting aroused easily, that could be a side effect of the condition and not the cause.
Mojojojo makes another good point also when he says that open honest communication is important. Find the time to sit down and talk about these issues. You may both learn a lot in your quest for solutions.
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 12:55 PM
As for talking i ask all the time but are relationship has issues... If i dont have proof it didnt happin
As for does she leave all the time she wont even move in with me so she goes home everynight and comes over during the day after work so figure shes here with me sun-thurs 3-10, fri/sat stays over but usually works for 8 hrs both days as well. So she has tons of time to cheat.
No dildos or anything like that from what she says... Never found any at her house either
Doctor she wont go see one period.
Any more info just ask.
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 01:30 PM
Even if you can resolve your relationship issues, there is no guarantee you’ll be able to resolve these problems as well. It is entirely possible that her sex drive is lower than yours. Are you prepared to spend your life with someone you love, even if she is unwilling or unable to provide you with enough sexual activity to satisfy your needs? Many couples struggle with this issue and many fail to resolve it. In this case a trained sex therapist might be of some benefit. There must be many couples who survive this issue, I find it hard to believe that people how stay together for 30 or 40 years have matching sex drives their whole life. Over time, your sex drive with wane and return depending on a host of life issues, as will hers. That’s why it’s imperative you resolve your relationship issues. It could be as simple as she doesn’t feel you love her or trust her.
But then again, she might be having an affair. I highly doubt it though, as it seems she is getting nothing from you which would keep her in the relationship unless she felt love for you.
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 02:12 PM
Posted Sun May 30, 2010 02:47 PM
I’m sorry, I do not know. I do know (or at least I think I know) that a healthy vagina will not lose tightness even with extreme stretching unless there is physical damage. Many women enjoy using large dildos or even fisting with little or no lose of tightness during regular sex. So unless she has had a child since you started seeing each other or she’s been brutally assaulted, there is no reason to think she is being stretched out by having sex with someone else. That’s why I keep thinking there is a medical problem which need resolving.
Perhaps you should be searching medical sites on the internet for clues. I'm sorry, I've run out of ideas.
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 01:53 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 02:06 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 02:29 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 02:36 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 02:56 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 02:59 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 03:28 AM
In all honesty, a woman could go have a gang bang with 30 men and the vagina would not stay loose. They are elastic and can stretch beyond the size of the largest dick.
Also, has there been a change in her personality or general mood. Major hormonal changes can cause dryness and lack of blood flow to the area, thus causing the tissue to loose elasticity. This is common in people suffering from depression.
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 07:08 AM
She's just not getting aroused when she's having sex with you... That's all...
If she was cheating on you, I'll bet my money she'd be dripping wet all the time... Have you ever heard why some men like their wives cheating? That's the reason...
About the looseness... Normally the vagina will engorge during arousal, just like a penis gets erect, and that would give the sensation of tightness. So, basically, if you're having relationship problems with her, rest assured that this is affecting her libido.
You're really something... No wonder she's turned off with all this thinking of yours. It is you who has to do something about the relationship, so stop accusing her and try to resolve your problems with her if at all just because you want to have sex with a tight pussy.
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 10:50 AM
Posted Mon May 31, 2010 04:00 PM
I also don't have insurance. But, there are options for those of us without insurance. If I were you, I'd do a little research and find a clinic myself. Since you're primarily complaining about gynecological symptoms, I'd start there. Look for Planned Parenthood or call a local low-income clinic to get information.
Posted Tue Jun 01, 2010 06:11 PM
Was she "tight" one night and "loose" three days later?
As others have said, the vaginal muscles are very elastic and can take in any size cock. The muscles MUST be elastic because they need to stretch to a ridiculous degree for a woman to be able to have a baby.
And even after childbirth, according to many of the married men on this site (just do a search), the vagina doesn't become so loose that sex is no longer enjoyable.
I don't think she knows kegels are. And if she does know what kegels are, then she isn't doing them right. Or maybe she isn't really doing them at all.
Or some of the other posters could be right about her physical issues being a medical problem. But at 23, I doubt it. She is most likely physically and reproductively healthy.
I don't think that she's cheating because sleeping with another person - even a LOT - wouldn't just make her loose all of a sudden. The vagina is made for sex, so having sex alone wouldn't make her loose. Plus, you've been together for so long that I would hope she'd be able to talk to you if she was unhappy in the relationship. Not only that, but you said that you have absolutely no proof that she's cheating, and it's totally unfair to accuse her without having any reason to be suspicious.
If you say that your relationship already has issues, then you absolutely need to talk about this issue especially. If you can't work out your issues by communicating, then your relationship isn't very strong/solid and may not last.
Posted Tue Jun 01, 2010 09:24 PM
Posted Wed Jun 02, 2010 08:13 AM
She probably isn't turned on, Maybe you're not getting as hard or maintaining a full erection. New condoms? New diets? Drugs?
It almost sounds like its all in your head, almost like you're looking for an excuse to find a new pussy.