comparing notes on sex lives How much do you divulge?
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 09:22 AM
She expected more of a reaction from me at first,but since she said it first,I told her that my husband is into anal play and being dominated. I realize she was joking when she said we should get together and have a strapon party, but the thought of it was very intriging.I thought of it last night while I was doing things to my husband. I wouldn't tell him that we spoke of it. He would probably freak if he knew I told her that he likes a big dildo in his ass.
Do you still talk about your sex life with your close friend?
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 09:34 AM
Otherwise, I come here. I get the discussion here that I tend not to get from my circle of friends. I've been more open about sex on a personal level with people like Lyrical and tenyn from meeting them here than I've ever been with any of my closest friends.
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 01:07 PM
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 01:19 PM
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 03:46 PM
As for talking about the really strange and kinkier stuff with your friend ? I dont know how your husband would feel knowing that you shared is enjoyment of anal play, but I know if that were me I'd be extremely pissed at you and I would probably never want to do anything with your friend because I'd probably be too embarassed that she knew about my deepest and darkest secret without my consent. That is why I only share certain information with a select few. I never fully indulge all of what my wife does or does not do with my friends. Sure I'll talk a little, mostly I will talk about my past and previous sexual encounters but I try really hard not to share secrets that would make my wife feel uncomfortable around said people after I had spilled her private information too. As for why I share with my sister ? Well I know my sister isn't going to say anything ever. Friends come and go but true family is for life and not to mention, anything that might embarass me can also be turned right around on her and I could share her deepest and darkest secrets and I know she wouldn't want me to do that lol.
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 08:56 PM
As Miss C and Olive mentioned, talking about your sex life and your sexuality here on SF is just plain easier than talking to another person face to face. I don’t think it has as much to do with the anonymity we all have in this type of forum as much as it has to do with the feeling that we will not judged for our views and/or activities. You mentioned that you felt comfortable opening up to your friend after she opened up to you, and Rob2000 said he felt safe telling his sister because he knew stuff about her. I think we all fear exposing our inner self to other people because it makes us feel vulnerable. If we could get past that, it would probably be very empowering to be totally open with friends and family.
If anyone wants to test my theory, please let me know how well it works, okay.
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 09:10 PM
Posted Tue Jun 22, 2010 09:18 PM
The only thing I don't discuss with them is the lack of sex with my husband at the minute, i'm not sure why, I don't really think about why but its the only thing that doesnt come up in our conversations,
With my guy friends, hell we talk about sex all of the time too, i enjoy talking sex with them, and hearing what they do, don't do, want to do and have done.
never would I discuss it with family though, its just not the done thing lol
Posted Wed Jun 23, 2010 06:28 AM
never would I discuss it with family though, its just not the done thing lol
For most people I would agree, my sister and I are very close, she may aswell be my very best friend.
It wasn't always this way for us, we were kinda of forced into sharing secrets. Without too much detail I one day was at a friends house just chilling. One of his other friends had come in with a video tape of someone that they had gone to school with. Apon watching the tape I had noticed that the guy in the video looked very familiar in fact too familiar, it was my sisters ex-boyfriend. It was seconds later into the tape when I had seen the girl who was performing with this young man and that girl was my sister. Needless to say i was enraged, I took the video out of the VCR and brought it home to give to my sister and to lecture her. I had asked my sister what in the hell was she doing and why on gods green earth would she allow some chump to video tape her doing it. This forced her to answer me and at the same time dropped the barrier of what we can and cannot talk about. Ever since that day we have always been able to discuss sex with each other. I knew her secret so it was only fair to share some of mine. As an older brother I never wanted my sister to make such stupid mistakes again, I told her in the future before she does something so dumb that she should run it by me before actually doing it.
Posted Wed Jun 23, 2010 06:32 AM
well said, I have no friends anyway, none that are actually my friends. Anything I say would get right back to my girlfriend within 30 seconds.
if we're together with other people sometimes i'll slip a comment in referring to her squirting or how she likes to be dominated, just for giggles.
and I have an uncle who i'll talk about my sex life to sometimes, he's gotten around and gave me a lot of advice, especially in the beginning of my relationship. And anything he says, he's always right. plus he confides in me about cheating on his wife banging girls my age, 20 years younger than he is.
This post has been edited by SmartGuysWin: Wed Jun 23, 2010 06:35 AM
Posted Wed Jun 23, 2010 07:09 AM
However I do not talk to anyone else about whats happening in manland, my horizontal folk dancing forays with J. or the sexual things that I think about. Until here. This is the first place I have ever been able to do that.
I was saying to a new member recently that the greatest gift of this site to me is self expression. I have found in this site a venue to share intimate sexual thoughts with a few other people, express my experiences to this community, share what I have learned with whomever is interested, learn from others experiences and ask questions as I listen and interact with interesting and fun people. I just enjoy talking about sexual and non sexual things ... I think I am a verbal exhibitionist.
It has been truly amazing. I am a very very sexual person, but I have never had a place where I can openly express that sexuality until here. The thing that I value most is the the fact that I can do it in a venue where things can remain respectful, intelligent and friendly but still be very erotic and sensual. I can also be a little racy and piquant, and thats ok too.
Most of all I value the friend connections that I have made here. There is this wonderful circle of several of you that I would never have met if I wasn't here. You are all so nice . . . and you know who you are . . . all of you.
Even though it doesn't matter, I am concious of my age difference with many of you . . . and as I just said . . .it doesn't matter. Its nice not to be thought of as a wierd old pervert because I talk about "that stuff" with younger folks, especially females. Perhaps that is one of the greatest gifts of this site ... it has given me the ability to talk to women here about all things sexual. I have always related to women more easily than guys. I love having female friends that I can talk to this stuff about. I so much easier to talk to women about it. My profile says it . . . I Love all women!!!! Its nice to be able to be open and verbaly sexual with you ladies all here (in a respectful way). Lets face it I can't turn to some woman on the NYC subway and say to her: "so how is your vagina treating you today?" Actually I probably wouldn't say it here either ...no matter you get the point. LOL
I think that this is beginning to sound a bit like a thank you note. Yea it is. Sorry to take the thread in this direction but this seems like a nice place to say it.
Thank you all. You are good peeple!!!!! Glad I am here. Well I am not really "here", I am there. This is a virtual community you know.
Posted Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:04 PM
Good point. I do try to talk about our sex life with my SO. I do share some of my fantasies with him, and I try to initiate sex when I want it and to communicate how I'm feeling. On occasion, I feel like I've poured out my soul to him when I've been frustrated and wanted him to be more open with me.
Besides the people here on SF, he's the one I've talked to about our sex life the most. I can talk to him about our sex life more comfortably than I can talk to even my girlfriends. I guess that makes sense because we're the two people involved. There are things I'd never tell my friends that he knows about me. For example, I doubt I'd ever be able to talk about how I love anal sex or rimming with my girlfriends. And I really doubt I'd ever be able to talk about my desire to squirt or ask my girlfriends if they ever have.
That's where SF comes in. I really do feel like I can talk about anything and not be judged here. Nobody here is going to tell me that I'm stupid for wanting/liking the things I want/like. Not that my fiancee or even my friends would say that. But even with my fiancee, there's the slim chance that I'd possibly be rejected or that he might be turned off by one of my fantasies. So SF is an accepting community where I can get out questionable ideas first and decide whether or not I want to introduce them into my relationship.
Posted Wed Jun 23, 2010 03:26 PM