Posted Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:35 PM
Posted Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:48 PM
chin up it will slowly get better, get out with your friends and have fun
Posted Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:59 PM
So, vent as much as you need to...
Posted Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:33 PM
Posted Fri Jun 25, 2010 12:11 AM
Sounds like good advice but there's no one at my side
And time washes clean love's wounds unseen
That's what someone told me but I don't know what it means.
It takes as long as it takes. Sorry, there is no set time. If you dwell on it, then you may never let it go, there are countless examples of people pining over lost loves for the rest of their days. Life sucks sometimes but you just have to pick yourself up, dust your self off, and get back on the whore, I mean horse.
Don't apologize for wasting my time, it is my time to waste, and frankly that is why I am here :-) Do you not think that long tirades on more "serious" topics like masturbation or what celebrity you would like to fuck aren't really a waste of time?
Posted Fri Jun 25, 2010 05:54 AM
Good luck, we've all been there before, just like Olive said, it doesn't matter if your young or old.....a broken heart knows no age limit. Just stay positive and everything will work itself out.
Posted Fri Jun 25, 2010 08:31 AM
-I cut all contacts with the person, no phone talks, no emails, no meeting in person. no attempts to pretend it´s OK to be "just friends"...
-I got rid of all things which might remind me of her (souvenirs, gifts, CDs... - which was quite impossible when she lived in my flat with me, but then I had to spend some time away from the flat in order to get through the most accute pain, e.g. I stayed in my mother´s flat for some time), I tried to actively avoid the songs, music, movies which we listened to or watched together and which had some symbolic meaning to me (us)...
-I spent as much time as possible with other people, male or female friends or new people I met, just to distract my attention for the time needed to take breath again.
-If I was lucky enough to enjoy the company of other attractive or nice girls, it helped a lot too. If there was some sexual stuff involved, the healing process progressed rapidly in my case... But I admit that it is quite difficult to become attractive for other girls when we are extremely depressed, sad and hopeless...but when I happened, it was a good medicine:)
-I actively tried to avoid thinking of her during masturbation, I "forced myself" to think of other girls, whether in fantasies or porn - it helped to re-programme my mind/brain a little bit in the "right" direction.
-I actively tried to focus my mind on the negative aspects of her personality if I was not able to stop thinking about her.
It is good when you know that all these confusing and painful feelings are natural, that you will probably experience a few "better phases of relief" which will be followed by another "relapses or worse phases of intense pain again" - as soon as you think you are healed a bit, a new painful relapse may occur, these cycles are natural and one advantage is that each relapse should be less and less painful and shorter and shorter (in an ideal case) - do not panic if it happens, be prepared for it and gather all your weapons to face these bad phases in advance when you feel at least some inner strength...
I wish you the best of luck, a successful recovery as soon as possible, and a happier relationship in the (near?) future.
Posted Fri Jun 25, 2010 08:55 AM
Posted Fri Jun 25, 2010 03:35 PM
The funny thing is I am so very glad that our marriage ended as we really were not happy together and never really could be. Moving on and falling in love again is, for me anyway, pretty much unrelated. I am deeply in love with Pandora and look to the future with great optimism and excitement. My connection with her is amazing and natural and lovely and right and makes even clearer the disconnect between my ex and I; yet I still feel sad. Sad about the failure of the hopes and dreams and aspirations we did share. Sad about our failure to ever really connect.
Years from now I will think back and recall the good things we had, but will always be able to bring on tears. I don't think we really "get over" things. We can come to accept things as they get further into the past, but somethings will always make us sad. My old Mum, who just died recently, lost her brother in WWII and after 50 years and through the fog of dementia would always cry when she thought about him.
It's not healthy to dwell and wallow in self pity and grief, but sadness and loss and change are all just a part of life, to be savoured as a part of our personal stories, our adventures. Yeah, time and distance and moving on with life takes the edge off, but I have permanent soft spots in my memories. Wouldn't change a thing though!
I don't want to get over you
This post has been edited by easysmiles: Fri Jun 25, 2010 03:38 PM
Posted Fri Jun 25, 2010 05:07 PM
So you know what? It doesn't matter how long it takes to move on just be sure that you look after yourself and that you are happy. Don't live in the past look to the future it is MUCH MORE FUN.
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:21 AM
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:56 AM
Posted Sat Jun 26, 2010 09:57 AM
Posted Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:11 PM
Gotta find a new one... Most of my hobbies were shared in some way in the relationship... Ugghhhh...
Posted Fri Jul 16, 2010 01:57 AM
Posted Fri Jul 16, 2010 07:25 AM