Once a cheater, always a cheater?
Posted Wed Jul 28, 2010 05:49 PM
(I know those are broad questions.....and that it really depends on the person. I was just being curious and trying to get a general consensus)
Posted Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:48 AM
People usually cheat because they are in some way unhappy or unsatisfied with their current relationship.
Posted Mon Aug 02, 2010 03:37 PM
Of course there are people who cheat just once or who cheat just 50 times in one relationship and when they settle in a satisfactory relationship, they will never cheat again. And there are also "chronic" cheaters who will never stop. But let´s put it clear: the chronic cheater started his cheating career with the first case of cheating, that´s true, but it does NOT imply that everybody who has cheated for the first time will become a chronic cheater. The same with alcoholics - many of them started with their first beer and they developed chronic alcoholism over the years, but it does not imply that every person who has their first beer will become an alcoholic.
In my theory there are three types of people:
1.those who never cheat - they may suffer in a relationship, give up sex or emotions altogether, but they will remain faithful or they will leave before they have something sexual with another person. (non-cheaters)
2.those who cheat under certain circumstances - e.g. if their sexual or emotional needs are ignored in their relationship, or at certain stage of their life for different reasons. When these circumstances do not occur, they will not cheat. (situational cheaters)
3.those who cheat because it is their life style, hobby, stable personality trait or whatever (chronic cheaters).
I think that saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is too simplistic and there have been many cases where someone cheated just once or twice or more times during certain period of his/her life and then they have never cheated again... Sometimes it may be very difficult to guess whether the person is a situational cheater or a chronic cheater, but I still tend to believe that these two categories are quite different.
Posted Mon Aug 02, 2010 06:25 PM
Posted Wed Aug 04, 2010 03:11 AM
Posted Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:21 AM
Posted Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:43 AM
Typically when people refer to "once a cheater always a cheater" they are not referring to one particular relationship. They are usually referring to that person being a cheater in every single relationship (not necessarily marriage) they will ever have.
You seem to be using it in a different context.
This post has been edited by pool_shark: Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:47 AM
Posted Fri Aug 06, 2010 07:42 PM
You seem to be using it in a different context.
I see it as once you start cheating in a relationship/marriage, you won't stop. The vast majority of cheaters, when asked if they feel guilty give the response: "Only if I get caught."
Posted Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:26 AM
Are you saying that you feel that if you cheat in one relationship that you will cheat in every relationship?
That's typically what people mean when they say once a cheater always a cheater.
To me it sound like you're just talking about cheating in ONE relationship multiple times.
I have cheated on women before, but I did not cheat on every women I've ever been with.
This post has been edited by pool_shark: Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:28 AM
Posted Sat Aug 07, 2010 06:00 PM
Posted Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:39 AM
I'm trying too, but the stubborn whore won't sign the papers. She cheated. I want out. And the bitch suddenly decides that she wants to "fight for us." Little late now.
This post has been edited by SomeKindOfMonster: Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:44 AM
Posted Mon Jan 24, 2011 04:59 PM
Posted Fri Jan 28, 2011 01:36 AM
People just tend to be repeat offenders so I'd be warry. One thing is for certain, I don't think anyone who cheats on me would be able to get my trust back and that would make for an awful relationship.
Posted Fri Jan 28, 2011 01:21 PM
Posted Fri Jan 28, 2011 01:25 PM
Posted Fri Jan 28, 2011 01:27 PM
You should ask my ex-husband though. He cheated on me several times in our marriage. He is remarried and I don't talk to him but it would be interesting to find out if he has cheated on his other wife. LOL It could have been just me or maybe that's just the way he is, I really don't know.
Posted Sat Jan 29, 2011 09:07 AM
Every human being has the capacity to change. Whether they do or not depends on many things.
I once cheated when I was younger, I did not take relationships seriously and was being selfish by thinking about myself and not how the other person would feel.
Now, I am older and wiser, I would never cheat (my relationship is quite complicated though) and hope that the mistakes I made in the past can stay there.
Posted Sat Jan 29, 2011 09:26 AM
Posted Sun Jan 30, 2011 02:08 PM
As a person i have cheated before, sue me, but now that i am with dale i have not nor do i want to cheat on him like many others have said. So the saying once a cheater always a cheater does not apply.
However, if i was dating someone and they cheated on me, and i found out, they will always be a cheater in my eyes. That would be how i remember them, so in a way in memory to me they were once a cheater and will always be a cheater. In reality they might not ever do it again, but for our relationship sake they are always going to be a cheater.
I do agree with the degrees of cheaters.
i add the last one because there are those situations where technically one is cheating because they are still married, even if they are separated and the marriage is on the way out. So is that really cheating, not so much in my opinion.