[redgreen]

A nurse freind told me once a guy came in his girlfreind clutching her boob. (Figured it out already) He opened his palm and said 'can you fix this back on?'

Really want 'funny' stories not stories folk will pass out reading.

I've been kicked in the head (cant you tell) once or twice while legs have been flying around changing position that type of thing.

In another thread today an SF'er mentioned his GF getting 'carpet burns' while making out too!

[Duchess]

i've had carpet burns on my shoulder blades, hip bones, knees, elbows, bruises on my thighs and arms, but the worst was when my rather well endowed ex fiance and I were rather drunk and had sex gymnastics one night, he ripped my perineum so I've had two stitches because of sex! lol

proud? me? yes I was rather once the embarrassment wore off lol

[redgreen]

Duchess don't use long words it confuses me I had to use a search engine to get 'pelvic diaphram' nope I'll never make University Challenge!

Not sex related but another daft Red anecdote, from a few decades ago...

My testicles where killing me, I went to the GP, he refered me to hospital to be x-rayed, i was pumped full of dye and they x-rayed my balls.

The pain and discomfort continued.

My GP contacted me to discuss the findings, I went to see him, fearing all kinds of scenarios, testicular cancer, castration, lord knows what.

My then fiancée came with me, obviously mildly concerned.

The three of us sat in the GPs office, he looked at the x-ray.

He handed it to me, not that I would know what to look for.

Moments passed.

"well we cannot find anything wrong with you" he said.

"but Doctor the pain in my groin is still there" I replied.

He sat behind his desk, "can I ask you a question?" the Doctor said.

"Yeah, sure" I responded

"Do you always wear those type of trousers Mr Red" he enquired.

"I do, yes, why?" a concerned Red said.

"Well Mr Red, those tight fitting jeans your wearing have crushed your balls" he told me.

At this point my fiancée burst into hysterics... (bitch, I never loved her anyways, lol)

I started wearing looser fitting trousers, fashion victim?

[Never Knows Best]

I almost broke my ankle while fucking.

My girlfriend and I where getting it on in the bedroom of my apartment. Well my younger brother was there earlier in the day and he left the remote control to my TV on the floor. Well I end up picking up my girl and start to fuck her when I take a step forward with her in my arms I step on the remote and my ankle rolls over and I fall to the ground with her, she is laughing like crazy and Im in some serious pain, she doesn't notice at all until I yell shut the fuck up and get me some ice. My ankle swelled up to the size of a softball. Went to the Orthopedist and he was shocked that I didn't break my ankle. Ended up shaving a severe ankle sprain. Terrible experience.

[redgreen]

Ouch KNB!

Having had a RTA where I was hit by a car on my bike, my ankle did the same thing, I was on crutches for two weeks after that.

[Holeshot]

While on top my (then) wife was riding rather hard and getting close to cumming so I didn't try to slow her down.

Being forceful she was coming almost all the way off my cock and then slamming back down hard.

One of those slams missed a bit after my cock slipped out of her pussy.

She still came down though - and it felt like she bend my rod in half.

Hurt a lot.
I was sore for a number of days after that - but then it got better.

[SpiceFire]

OUCH Holeshot. That's making my eyes water just thinking about it!

Been lucky myself, apart from banging my head on the brick wall (no headboard) and stinging my ass on some nettles whilst in the woods, I've been ok.

[Zurya]

that is one of my worst nightmares holeshot, I just feel its inetivably going to happen to me one day and i'm scared :/

my girl bites me

[mr_curve]

Zurya, on 02 August 2010 - 05:48 PM, said:

that is one of my worst nightmares holeshot, I just feel its inetivably going to happen to me one day and i'm scared :/

my girl bites me

Mine too. Fuck it, I'd rather be on top doing all the work than risk that.

[redgreen]

I guess guys we are hoping for a lover not a 'biter'? hehe!

[SweetSouthernC]

I've smacked my head on the wall several times, had carpet burn on my knees, back, elbows, and shoulders, knocked pictures off the wall on to my head, flipped off the bed things like that.

[McAllister]

I'va had a few cramps, bumped my girl's head into the bedhead, got carpet burns on the knees and knuckles, and once i almost disclocated my left wrist while shifting positions. Oh and once i got ahuge bruise on my dick, from intense intercourse...

[rmlp]

Threw my back out once, it took me 3 days before i could bend over and pick anything up..Both my knees are bad from riding broncs, so if i am in doggy for too long its hell for me to walk for about 5 min or so.

[Chippy]

Met a girl in a hotel once after being out on the town. We took an instant liking to each other & went back to my room. We fucked every way imaginable in the bath tub with her head banging off the wall for most of it. We stayed in contact & she told me she had a lump on her head for 3 days afterwards!

[mrtodd]

Ahhhhhhhh... toe cramps... I fucking hate toe cramps. Am I right?

And then of course there are the times when I have numerous deep, swollen, sometimes bleeding scratches on ym back. But I don't mind them so much. More reward than injury, really.

This post has been edited by mrtodd: Fri Aug 06, 2010 02:50 AM

[B A]

Tore my frenulum while engaged in a rather vigerous round of fucking with a very young and active girl in the Dominican Republic long ago when I was quite young myself. Had to tape my foreskin back to get it to heal. Put my sex life out of action for a week or two.

[backcheck]

Do bruises sustained from your girlfriend hitting you while you're banging her sister count? If so, then yes. Bruises to the back and head.

[Wombatso]

I remember one horny lass who hungrily sucked my cock while wanking me. It felt sooo good and I thought that the feel of my cock being pulled out by its roots was just feeling so good but no, the next day I had a sore ligament and a small bit of skin bitten of the head.

[Wombatso]

redgreen, on 01 August 2010 - 05:06 AM, said:

A nurse freind told me once a guy came in his girlfreind clutching her boob. (Figured it out already) He opened his palm and said 'can you fix this back on?'

Really want 'funny' stories not stories folk will pass out reading.

One of my brothers once worked in a hospital and saw all sorts of injuries, sex especially. From sticking food up their bums to the woman who instead of using a dildo or vibrator, she used barbed wire.

[Empiregirl]

Nothing ER worthy, but I had to go to the doctor for "nipple trauma" once. Does cum in your eyes count? 'Cause that shit burns like hell. Other than that, rug burn, rope burn, some light bleeding, whipmarks, bruises, sore back, banged head, and various scrapes and scratches.

This post has been edited by Empiregirl: Sun Aug 08, 2010 06:25 AM