Went with a few friends, one of which I liked sometime ago, but accepted that nothing more than friendship would come of it, and my feelings subsided, and I did see them as just a friend.
Well we were having an absolutely incredible time, and it was during this time that hanging out with them my feelings came back, stronger than before, and it didn’t help that even if they didn’t mean to be they were being kinda flirty, although that maybe just the way I saw it, either way, they met someone in one of the bars and got talking to them. They then spent the rest of the night together.
So I took my mind off it by seeing a few bands until the last act of the day (ended just after midnight). I then went back to the tent only to find that the folks I’d gone with were lame and had all gone to sleep (apart from the friend I liked, she was still with the guy she met). So I headed back to the bar to have a few drinks to take my mind off it.
It didn’t last for long, as I felt I really needed to talk to someone about it, I returned to the tent, sat outside, and smoked a few cigs, hoping that someone would wake up. They didn’t. The next morning I learned that the 2 had slept together that night, and although I enjoyed the rest of the weekend, that fact was always at the back of my mind.
I don’t quite know if I should tell them how I feel, but I don’t wanna lose the friendship, but at the same time, it’s playing hell with my emotions. Also I have already asked her once at the very beginning of the year and she said that hse just saw me as a friend back then, but I feel we've grown closer since then, so it may be worth asking again.
I really like them and this is really getting me down, I can deal with the fact they had sex, but its just not knowing what I should do is killing me. I know some may think that it's stupid for me to want anything to do with a person who can go off and sleep with someone they don't know, and part of me knows that, but it doesn't change anything, I still like her.
I always do this to myself, I always seem to go for the people who I know don’t and most likely won’t ever like me the same way, and yet I always fall for them. I am pretty sure I will tell her, but we don't see each other enough in person, in private at any rate where I can tell her, so I was gonna tell her on MSN, but I forgot she told me her laptop is broken, so I was thinking of telling her with a text when we are in a conversation. I'm so stumped right now, and feel so down about it.
I am ridiculous and pathetic, not to mention pissed off at myself.
This post has been edited by The Hornstar: Thu Aug 05, 2010 05:57 PM