What does this mean wife confuses the hell out of me
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 05:55 PM
So last night I had several friends over my house. A few people were playing a board game (scrabble I think, but irrelevant), my wife and a the only other woman that was over were on the couch and I was doing some work on the computer.
More importantly than where we all were, everyone was pretty tipsy at this point in the night.
I was pretty focused on what I was working on, so I hadn't been paying much attention to what had been going on in the background.
I forget what my wife and her friend were talking about, but I had overheard and had something to interject into the conversation.
As I looked away from the computer and over towards the couch I noticed that my wife was rubbing her pussy, but not through her pants...and not even with her hand down her pants.
She was wearing some short sweat pant style shorts and they were pretty loose fitting round her legs. She had her legs spread, the shorts pushed to one side, making her pussy fully visible (being that she had no panties on), and her finger was stroking up and down her slit.
I looked down and back up & gave her a strange ? look...she stopped and gave me a dirty look.
I have requested in the past that she touch herself and let me watch, but she has always refused. Then she openly does it in front of people??? (I mean RIGHT IN FRONT, they were playing a game on the floor about 10 feet from where she was sitting on the couch....with her pussy right about at eye level.)
I do not get it...It has been messing with my head ever since.
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 06:03 PM
Have you ever approached her on the subject of group sex, maybe it's always been a fantasy of hers and was just trying to play it out?
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 06:05 PM
I mean, you could just say it was the alcohol - maybe she was more drunk than you thought she was.
If it has been causing you stress or anxiety since it happened, then you really need to talk to her about it. Try to bring it up in a non-confrontational way. Don't accuse her (i.e. "What the fuck do you think you were doing?!??!!"). Don't be angry or yell at her. (Honestly, if she was that drunk, she may not even remember doing it.)
Were there men in the group? Did they notice?/Were they watching her? Did they seem aroused?/Did it seem like she was trying to make them aroused? What was the other woman doing while your wife was rubbing her pussy right next to her? Was the other woman rubbing her own pussy as well?
What an odd situation to have to deal with...
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 06:14 PM
She was being rather inconspicuous while she was doing it. Her and our friend we sitting on the couch, they were watching youtube videos or being Facebook drama queens or something like that. My wife was sitting in the middle of the couch, while the friend was on the end. The laptop they were using was on an end table to the side of the couch, our friend was the one interfacing with the computer (turned, and facing the computer). I do not think her friend even saw.
She wasn't really going at it...she was just rubbing it slowly, making it slightly less noticeable (unless you happened to look in her direction).
There were three men sitting on the floor (one was the friends husband), I do no know if they saw or if she had been making eye-contact with them or anything because, as I said, she stopped when I noticed.
Everything seemed awkward after, so I think she may have been trying to arouse them...but then again I could just be being paranoid.
It has caused me some stress, maybe I will mention it to her.
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 06:26 PM
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 06:35 PM
I didn't think of that, McAllister.
Maybe she was trying to get YOUR attention, curiousNsmall...
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 07:28 PM
She usually just comes over to me and pushes for attention (carressing and kissing me) when she wants me to give her some login.
Also, why would she stop when I looked over if the show was meant for me? I have no idea how long it was going on. I had been working for about 20 mins.
Fuck being on call.
Thanks for the input.
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 08:10 PM
She was having some fun that she didn't want you to participate in - That's a good place to start if you wanted to confront her about it.
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 09:10 PM
Do you think she may be cheating on me?
What should I say?
Thanks for the help everyone.
Posted Tue Aug 17, 2010 09:57 PM
Posted Wed Aug 18, 2010 09:59 AM
As I said before, don't be accusing or angry or confrontational - that'll shut her down and make her not want to talk to you about it.
Do be calm. Tell her that you have a question you want her to answer or something you want to talk about that's been on your mind for a few days. Do use "I" statements rather than "you" statements - i.e. "I noticed the other night when our friends were here that I saw you touching yourself while I watched you sitting on the couch. I couldn't help but wonder why you were doing that, and I was really confused because I never thought you'd be that open sexually with so many other people around. I have no idea what you were thinking - can you explain it to me? I'd love to hear about it if it's a fantasy you have." If you're calm and just asking a question because you're curious, she'll be more likely to talk about it.
Not necessarily. This one incident alone doesn't necessarily mean she's cheating on you or even that she wants to cheat on you. Unless she has given you other clues - i.e. leaving the room when she gets a phone call (to talk in private) a lot, numbers showing up on your phone bill that you don't recognize (a lot - not just one call to the cable guy to fix the TV), being out late at night with no reasonable explanation, not wanting to have sex with you now when she was all over you before (or vice versa - a HUGE and SUDDEN change in her sex drive), etc. - I definitely wouldn't accuse her of cheating. You'll more than likely offend her because it seems like you have no other reason to believe she'd be cheating.
Maybe she has a threesome or group sex/orgy fantasy that she has never told you about (as someone else said before). Or maybe she was horny over the idea of being watched (just watched but not necessarily touched) by an audience. It could have been that the idea of getting off with other people around (making something more public that is usually private) made her hot. Maybe she's toying with exhibitionism. If that's the case, she may have given you a dirty look because you "ruined her fun" by catching her. (She wanted an audience of people who haven't seen her naked before, for example. You've already seen her whole body.) If she wasn't being obvious (you said you weren't sure if anybody - including her female friend who was also sitting on the couch - had even seen her), maybe she was just testing the waters and didn't actually want to be seen at first. Maybe she was just seeing how far she'd be brave enough to go.
Or she could have been just so drunk and horny that she didn't know what she was doing - i.e. she doesn't remember doing it when you talk to her - and didn't care because it felt good. She may have forgotten where she was and what would have been appropriate behavior (if she was really sloppy drunk).
Whatever you end up saying to her, be honest. If it really bothers you - tell her (in a non-confrontational way). For example, "I saw you touching yourself the other night while our friends were here. That really bothered me because I thought our sex life was and should be private. I'm not interested in sharing your body with anybody else. I really don't want that to happen again."
Don't forget to listen to her. Don't interrupt her or cut her off when she's talking and answering any questions you ask her.
And don't talk about this issue in bed. Make sure you're in a neutral space that isn't sexually-charged.