My sexual peak isn't coinciding with his!! (Apparently...)
Posted Mon Oct 02, 2006 04:07 PM
Posted Mon Oct 02, 2006 04:15 PM
If it makes ya feel better if I was with an attractive, healthy, 29 year old female I'd give it to her all the time.
Posted Mon Oct 02, 2006 05:04 PM
and I wouldn't say I was worried, just horny!! Tired of getting myself off.
Posted Mon Oct 02, 2006 06:41 PM
Posted Mon Oct 02, 2006 07:06 PM
Emasculating him by showing you're attracted to him?
If you want sex, initiate it.
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 02:15 AM
I am very sexually adventurous, and an aggressive lover. Not meaning, 'grr...fuck me!!!' (well, sometimes ), but I express what I want, and ask him what he likes, and find that sex is exciting. We enjoy sex together. My favorite thing to do is give him pleasure orally (sometimes, it's all I want to do. It's enough for me. If I get mine, well, even better. Though I freaking love for him to go down on me - he's good!) and I'm on top at least half of the time. He def doesn't do all the work. I dunno. Gonna just let things unfold. See where it takes us. Maybe I should be thinking more about the other contents of our relationship more so than sex. Guess more of this: It is fun, in any case.
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 02:19 AM
If you want sex, initiate it.
Being rejected sucks. He turned me down one time by taking my hands and pushing me away from him, irritated. That hurt pretty bad, and embarrassed me. He said later that he was just tired and irritable, but it still sucked, 'cause I didn't know that. I still initiate it most times, but am careful to not do it too much. Make sense?
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 02:30 AM
For example. I know that since I was 13, I have wanted at least one orgasm per day consistently with the occasional break for a day or two. I know that stressors (like dieting) can reduce this amount and when that happens I know something needs to change and soon because it is not 'normal' for me.
Find out what is 'normal' for your partner, NOT counting an initial infatuation phase that many couples go through. Take any funky relationship emotions out of the picture and look at the man's physical drive for sex. Find out how often he would do it alone if other stressors did not bring his drive down or if you or another girl were not in the picture. This, combined with the konwledge that sex drive does tend to drop off gradually with age unless a man is willing to keep his hormones in an optimal range, should give you decent predictive power and will eliminate some of the guesswork.
It will also tell you whether your current situation is temporary or if your man simply doesn't have a naturally strong drive...which might leave you a little frustrated over the long term. I also am looking for sex drive compatibility and let me iterate....it can be really tough for a man to find.....women's sex drives are far more complicated on average than a man's drive is. Very tough to predict and understand. And often sporadic. Men's drives are usually regulated by hormone levels and concomittantly, stress levels. Keep stress down and testosterone levels high and you usually have a horny man wanting sex at whatever his natural level of desire is. Simple really imo.
Another good thing to find out is if he is willing to work to improve his own drive and also wants the same sort of compatibility and fulfillment of needs that you do. In many ways that is a more fundamental perspective to take. Making 'corrections' to bring his drive back to normal or just to increase it can be easy things to accomplish (and sometimes can be accomplished within a matter of a few days, not weeks or months so patience isn't even necessarily required). I just hope you have an understanding partner who is willing to compromise to meet your needs. If not the simplicity of resolving a situation like that ceases to work smoothly.
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 03:27 AM
I've stopped initiating so much... I've found that by not initiating and denying him at times makes him want it more =P , i tease, play, and then nothing ... keke... seems to turn him on. The fact that he knows that he can get it anytime he want.. well u know the saying.. treat em mean, keep em keen. It works for me??
Otherwise have u suggested drugs such as WYLD for men to boost his sex drive??
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 03:36 AM
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:06 AM
It can be taken with a daily vitamin...without him really knowing what it is. It tastes like an iron supplement.
However, you need to sit down and talk to him and let him know exactly what you need. He needs to know that it is NOT normal not to want sex. He may also need a little help from his physician....there may be a medical reason.
Because you are the aggressor, he probably resents that he is not in charge. But because you are aggressive, maybe thats what he expects. How you can make him aggressive is beyond me. He probably will never change....but he can be taught to respect your wishes.
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 07:03 PM
Yes it does, and yeah that aint good. Yall need to set a time for sex and make it more like a regular thing. That way you won't have to guess and hope he's in the mood and be wrong about it and get rejected.
Yall have to talk about it and not just hint around. Talk about it directly. When is he in the mood and when is he not? Is he just too tired after work, but energetic in the morning? Try going to sleep an hour earlier and setting the alarm earlier. That kind of thing. Make it clear that you are doing this for sex. Don't just go to sleep earlier, etc.--discuss why you're doing it.
Also, he might need more relaxing sex sometimes that isn't too demanding. Maybe he might like to start with a massage, and then lie back and you be on top. If you're the more highly sexed one you might enjoy the more active position anyway.
Well those are some thoughts. Good luck.
Posted Tue Oct 03, 2006 07:15 PM
not directed @ you, just some guys can't handle a stronger sex drive, personally I love a challenge!
**EDIT** yes a lack of sex drive is grounds for divorce, ask my X wife
Posted Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:49 AM
Posted Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:11 AM