This Sex Addiction Good or Bad?
Posted Sun Dec 12, 2010 03:10 AM
And, I became frustrated with my work, exams, and other stuff in my life.
Few days ago, I hired this really hot wild 18 year old escort (black hair, blue eyes, these perfect C boobs).
I will never look at leather corsets the same way again. And, I lost my virginity. It was great.
Then, I felt really bad the next day; I had this really unusually feeling of guilt.
My thoughts summarized: " Would I ever be in a relationship now... How would I ever admit this to
a girl that I might be dating in the future... Would all the women think that I am the scum of the
earth.. Would anyone ever love me... etc.
Before this whole instance, I was a guy that would have signed off his life to a girl for a kiss, and
I would have traveled continents, and seas to be in a relationship. (Laugh at me as much as you
want, but I am a hopeless romantic.)
I became really depressed. My thoughts summarized: I am totally fucked, no girl would want me now...
What do I do... etc.
So, I got another escort. She was 22, really sweet, and endearing. She had brunette hair, brown eyes,
her hips were so perfect, and she had D or DD boobs (They were like OMG touch me!! Lol!).
Now, I am confused. Do I "need" a relationship, but this is so awesome!
Beautiful women that do want I want to do. I am addicted to them like drugs.
Should I keep getting more escorts, and keep going down this path?
Is there hope for me to go back to the normal? Would a girl want to be a guy who had been with
Posted Sun Dec 12, 2010 05:11 AM
some ppl are fine wi escorts cos they know they're hireing her services for a time (you can bet its just a job to the girl) but you're depressed and guilty after couple times so it clear you can't divorce your 'romantic' nature from it but you've found sex and want it bad.
you've either got to see your situation with a big dose of reality or forget it and stop now before you get in a much worse state.
Posted Sun Dec 12, 2010 01:19 PM
Posted Sun Dec 12, 2010 02:00 PM
Okay, moving on to the question at hand:
I have no problem with prostitution in most any form, but the escort, who offers what is nowadays known as the GFE, or girlfriend experience, can create a fantasy that you must be careful with.
The idea of prostitution is to have sex without the time, effort, and expense (emotionally and financially) of an ongoing, significant-other relationship. The GFE can blur the lines between the two. Not quite a mistress, but not as clearly drawn as a simple call girl or hooker setup.
The fact that you did not call for the same woman over and over is a good sign, because you somehow recognize that it's the service, not the service provider, that gets you off.
As for the issue about your virginity, there was a time, when we were less sexually open, that fathers would take their sons to a brothel to lose his virginity, and to learn a bit about mechanics of sex. You merely made the trip yourself; congrats. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and whether you tell this to a girlfriend of wife is your choice; just remember that it does not diminish you in any way. I feel that to lose one's virginity with someone more experienced (not necessarily a pro) is healthy, because it safeguards all the emotions of the 'first time'.
Religion and certain societies have made us believe that sex is only about love and making babies, all of which should only occur in a committed (preferably married) relationship. This why our emotions take such a beating during puberty: our sexual hormones are raging, and yet we're told not to do anything about them until we're married, and that shouldn't happen until we're in love. So then we go around calling every sexual urge, every erection, every dry mouth when a girl smiles at us, a sign of love, when they're actually signs of horny.
Food and drink can be about fueling our bodies, but they can also be about pure pleasure. It's the same with sex: sex is about having children, sometimes; it can also express affection and intimacy, sometimes. But sex can also be about enjoying the sensations of our bodies, and offering pleasure to another person, and reveling in the satisfaction that comes from pleasing someone else.
As for should you go back to the normal, the whole point of your hiring escorts was that you had never been to the normal. Can you give up the ease and tidiness of the GFE for the relative mess and stress of an actual girlfriend? Only you can answer that, but understand something: I don't know any man who, after his first sexual encounter, didn't think to himself "I gotta do that again!"
Your so-called 'addiction' is the same thing we all go through. The only difference is, instead of the pretending and scheming and begging that most of us went through to get a girl to consent, you made a phone call, and there was a warm, willing and able partner, who did not ask why you picked her, or did you like her more than some other girl, or would you still respect her in the morning, or would you call her on your lunch break tomorrow, or does this mean you're getting married.
It was sex- simple, straightforward, and (hopefully) good.
If your sexual confidence has increased, it was money well spent. But don't waste your time trying to 'get' a girlfriend- get a life. Girlfriends, unlike escorts, can't be found in the Yellow Pages; they are among the people that are a part of your daily life, that one day you acknowledge an attraction to, that eventually must become mutual. The most successful relationships occur between two people who know what they want from their lives, and then choose to share that life with someone.
Just go through your life with your head up, so you don't miss those around you. I'm confident that, when you make a connection with a woman, who is as curious about and attracted to you as you are to her, you'll understand that part of the equation that an escort can only pretend to give you for a night.
This post has been edited by ScottyWright: Sun Dec 12, 2010 02:04 PM
Posted Sun Dec 12, 2010 02:28 PM
However, you said you felt depressed and guilty of hiring an escort and then thought there was no more hope at a relationship so what do you do? You go out and hire another one. Don't let it become a cycle of "Oh I hired an escort, got my fix, feel guilty, hire another escort, get another fix, feel another wave of guilt.." Yes you are doing what feels good but obviously that satisfaction isn't lasting very long.
What if soon enough you start feeling depressed almost immediately? Then, before you know it, you are constantly hiring an escort. You can't find a girlfriend this way, so I agree with Scotty about 'getting a life' instead of living in fantasy so that you can find a girl you can be hopelessly romantic to.
This post has been edited by Meegan: Sun Dec 12, 2010 02:33 PM
Posted Sun Dec 12, 2010 04:10 PM
To answer your question, sexual past is sexual past, and frankly, as a woman, I wouldn't care one bit if you'd purchased an escort.
Posted Mon Dec 13, 2010 04:44 PM
(You must be a genius or can you read my mind!! Lol)
I was looking at this all wrong. I have benefited from these experiences.
I used to be really shy around girls; now, I am totally different. And, there are more girls in my life than ever before.
I already know what I want in my life; now, I don't need 'find' a girl. I am feeling confident that things will fall into place with time.
Thank you speedcav72, deviant_honey, Meegan, Double:D!
It makes sense that the past is the past, does it really matter that I was with 1 girl or 3000 girls; they are escorts or girlfriends.
I happy that the ladies in the forums are accepting. I am afraid that most people that I know are not very accepting.
It must be because I am in the south. But, I am moving to NY.
I will just live my life to the fullest; and I will enjoy it. I will do whatever I want if that means getting an escort every week or every other day.
And one day, I might find 'that girl' who is as curious about and attracted to me as I am to her, I'll understand that part of the 'equation'.
This post has been edited by EthosParadox: Mon Dec 13, 2010 04:58 PM