Okay so I have been dating this guy for a while now and we have grown very close-- to the point where we are extremely honest and comfortable with one another.
I knew he had been with guys before but he said it was simply out of sexual curiosity but that kissing a guy disgusted him.
Recently, we were pretty banged up and decided to go all out and mess around and experiment with anal.
He first started experimenting with me. I wasn't much for it because I don't like pain but I did enjoy it.
He, on the other hand, loves receiving anal and tongue as well and apparently he loves the way I do it so much, he can't get enough.
While I do enjoy getting kinky every now and then, I also really love having normal sex because that intimacy is what makes me orgasm.
Lately, he just wants to get it in the butt and it's almost as if he can't orgasm anymore unless he has something up his ass.
I'm particularly annoyed by this because I feel like he wants a guy. We have been talking about incorporating a guy into the sex but it scares me a little sometimes.
He says he gets the urge to suck dick sometimes. While I have read that this is actually pretty commonplace in the majority of heterosexual men,
I still have my doubts because deep down, I'm actually pretty conservative (damn this society and its morals!).
I don't know if I should be worried or if I should accept it and have fun with it and trust that this is just a way to satisfy a sexual craving he has.
I also don't like that he wants a rim job and penetration almost every time we have sex because honestly yes sometimes I'm in the mood
but there are times when I would like to be the one that's being submissive. I don't like feeling like I'm the one wearing the pants...
Especially since I'm the girl! Or am I just analyzing the gender roles and being too judgmental?
Any feedback is welcome! I'm just looking to vent and to see what others have to say!
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Is my boyfriend gay if he likes anal?
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Posted Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:41 PM
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Posted Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:45 PM
get him a butt plug, let him wear it while he fucks you if he wants something in there that bad.
and no, I don't think it makes him gay.
and no, I don't think it makes him gay.
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Posted Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:52 PM
I would certainly say that he is at least bicurious if not completely bisexual. Straight guys don't have sex with other men, sorry it just does not happen. Gay would mean he gets no sexual pleasure from you and that clearly is not the case. Some guys really enjoy anal stimulation. The prostate offers extra stimulation. I know of a particular guys who is 100% straight but likes having his ass played with and uses toys. I think your boyfriend might be hiding his full orientation from you in fear of the reaction you yourself are afraid of. If you like being submissive you should tell him that and make it clear that sometimes you want him to take control. However you yourself are bisexual I think you should be open to the idea that your boyfriend might be as well. However I just think He's into women but likes being fucked in the ass. I wouldnt worry too much.
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Posted Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:54 PM
I just want to say having the urge to suck a dick IS NOT commonplace among heterosexual males. Doesn't mean he's gay, it just means you're misinformed, IMO.
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:01 AM
Haha well thanks you guys for the feedback! I appreciate it 'cause I've been kind of worried and no I wouldn't mind if he WAS bisexual at all-- I would just rather KNOW rather than be here wondering! That's what sucks. NOT knowing.
Also, I heard that extremely sexual heteros are into sucking cock every now and then. This straight from a call girl and I highly doubt she was misinformed. Lol
Also, I heard that extremely sexual heteros are into sucking cock every now and then. This straight from a call girl and I highly doubt she was misinformed. Lol
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:19 AM
She was misinformed, obviously! They might have SAID they're heterosexual, but that's not heterosexual behavior IMO. I've never ONCE had an urge to suck a dick...ever. IMO, if you have urges to suck a dick, you're bisexual...you just may or may not be afraid to act on that urge. Just my opinion, though.
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 08:01 AM
Although I'm not really into labels for sexuality- the root of a lot of problems and misunderstanding- I agree with FireCrotch on this: not many hetero men (in USA, anyway) are into any man-on-man physical contact. Unless, that is, they just won the big game, in which case leaping into each other's arms is completely acceptable. I guess the usual handshake-and-shoulder-bump just doesn't express their unbridled glee in that situation...
But, I digress...
Homosexuality, or being gay, is about being sexually attracted to one's own gender exclusively. Bisexuality is about enjoying sexual contact and content involving either or both genders, in varying degrees. It does not necessarily suggest a preference for sex with either gender.
Here's where FireCrotch and I disagree: enjoying the feel of something in the anus is not a sign of homosexuality, latent or otherwise. We certainly do not consider the opposite to be true: two lesbians can have sex with a dildo, and are not considered closet heteros. It's the gay aspect that is considered against the grain. A man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum is simply that: a man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum. I like massage, and I don't care if they're male or female hands: if the touch feels good, it feels good.
We men have chosen to make certain types of expression okay and not okay, just as it would be okay for me to throw my arms around my point guard after we win the championship, but not to walk off the court holding hands. It's sad, really.
Women, for the most part, are not shackled by as many hangups in this regard, which is why almost every porn feature made in the last 25 years has a girl-on-girl scene.
As for your man, seck_cells, let's call him bi-curious and leave it at that...
But, I digress...
Homosexuality, or being gay, is about being sexually attracted to one's own gender exclusively. Bisexuality is about enjoying sexual contact and content involving either or both genders, in varying degrees. It does not necessarily suggest a preference for sex with either gender.
Here's where FireCrotch and I disagree: enjoying the feel of something in the anus is not a sign of homosexuality, latent or otherwise. We certainly do not consider the opposite to be true: two lesbians can have sex with a dildo, and are not considered closet heteros. It's the gay aspect that is considered against the grain. A man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum is simply that: a man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum. I like massage, and I don't care if they're male or female hands: if the touch feels good, it feels good.
We men have chosen to make certain types of expression okay and not okay, just as it would be okay for me to throw my arms around my point guard after we win the championship, but not to walk off the court holding hands. It's sad, really.
Women, for the most part, are not shackled by as many hangups in this regard, which is why almost every porn feature made in the last 25 years has a girl-on-girl scene.
As for your man, seck_cells, let's call him bi-curious and leave it at that...
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 08:55 AM
secks_cells, on Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:41 PM, said:
Okay so I have been dating this guy for a while now and we have grown very close-- to the point where we are extremely honest and comfortable with one another.
I knew he had been with guys before but he said it was simply out of sexual curiosity but that kissing a guy disgusted him.
Recently, we were pretty banged up and decided to go all out and mess around and experiment with anal.
He first started experimenting with me. I wasn't much for it because I don't like pain but I did enjoy it.
He, on the other hand, loves receiving anal and tongue as well and apparently he loves the way I do it so much, he can't get enough.
While I do enjoy getting kinky every now and then, I also really love having normal sex because that intimacy is what makes me orgasm.
Lately, he just wants to get it in the butt and it's almost as if he can't orgasm anymore unless he has something up his ass.
I'm particularly annoyed by this because I feel like he wants a guy. We have been talking about incorporating a guy into the sex but it scares me a little sometimes.
He says he gets the urge to suck dick sometimes. While I have read that this is actually pretty commonplace in the majority of heterosexual men,
I still have my doubts because deep down, I'm actually pretty conservative (damn this society and its morals!).
I don't know if I should be worried or if I should accept it and have fun with it and trust that this is just a way to satisfy a sexual craving he has.
I also don't like that he wants a rim job and penetration almost every time we have sex because honestly yes sometimes I'm in the mood
but there are times when I would like to be the one that's being submissive. I don't like feeling like I'm the one wearing the pants...
Especially since I'm the girl! Or am I just analyzing the gender roles and being too judgmental?
Any feedback is welcome! I'm just looking to vent and to see what others have to say!
I knew he had been with guys before but he said it was simply out of sexual curiosity but that kissing a guy disgusted him.
Recently, we were pretty banged up and decided to go all out and mess around and experiment with anal.
He first started experimenting with me. I wasn't much for it because I don't like pain but I did enjoy it.
He, on the other hand, loves receiving anal and tongue as well and apparently he loves the way I do it so much, he can't get enough.
While I do enjoy getting kinky every now and then, I also really love having normal sex because that intimacy is what makes me orgasm.
Lately, he just wants to get it in the butt and it's almost as if he can't orgasm anymore unless he has something up his ass.
I'm particularly annoyed by this because I feel like he wants a guy. We have been talking about incorporating a guy into the sex but it scares me a little sometimes.
He says he gets the urge to suck dick sometimes. While I have read that this is actually pretty commonplace in the majority of heterosexual men,
I still have my doubts because deep down, I'm actually pretty conservative (damn this society and its morals!).
I don't know if I should be worried or if I should accept it and have fun with it and trust that this is just a way to satisfy a sexual craving he has.
I also don't like that he wants a rim job and penetration almost every time we have sex because honestly yes sometimes I'm in the mood
but there are times when I would like to be the one that's being submissive. I don't like feeling like I'm the one wearing the pants...
Especially since I'm the girl! Or am I just analyzing the gender roles and being too judgmental?
Any feedback is welcome! I'm just looking to vent and to see what others have to say!
No reason to vent. Relax and enjoy. Several things come to attention. Just because he enjoys anal, doesn't mean anything other than he likes anal. My husband is the same way. There is no reason why you both can't enjoy what feels best for you. He could make love to you while he has a buttplug and he can always enjoy his anal pleasures after you are happy. There are many hetero men who have the urge to suck a penis. Basicly because they would like to be able to suck themselves. They have no desires for kissing, hugging, etc. with other men, but they fantasize about sucking them. Screw the morals, it's all old taboos and wives tales. The reality and knowledge of the facts make things a lot different nowadays.
Role play with him using strapons, dildos and other toys. It can be a lot of fun for both of you. Try sharing a double dildo.
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 09:57 AM
I think we should listen to the Hetero guy on here on whether straight men fantasize about sucking cock.
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 02:01 PM
ScottyWright, on Tue Jan 04, 2011 06:01 AM, said:
Although I'm not really into labels for sexuality- the root of a lot of problems and misunderstanding- I agree with FireCrotch on this: not many hetero men (in USA, anyway) are into any man-on-man physical contact. Unless, that is, they just won the big game, in which case leaping into each other's arms is completely acceptable. I guess the usual handshake-and-shoulder-bump just doesn't express their unbridled glee in that situation...
But, I digress...
Homosexuality, or being gay, is about being sexually attracted to one's own gender exclusively. Bisexuality is about enjoying sexual contact and content involving either or both genders, in varying degrees. It does not necessarily suggest a preference for sex with either gender.
Here's where FireCrotch and I disagree: enjoying the feel of something in the anus is not a sign of homosexuality, latent or otherwise. We certainly do not consider the opposite to be true: two lesbians can have sex with a dildo, and are not considered closet heteros. It's the gay aspect that is considered against the grain. A man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum is simply that: a man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum. I like massage, and I don't care if they're male or female hands: if the touch feels good, it feels good.
I'm sorry if you misunderstood me Scotty (or anyone else) but I never said that enjoying anal pleasure is a sign of homosexuality. I agree with you here Scotty. Just ask Mrs. F_C about that one.
We men have chosen to make certain types of expression okay and not okay, just as it would be okay for me to throw my arms around my point guard after we win the championship, but not to walk off the court holding hands. It's sad, really.
Women, for the most part, are not shackled by as many hangups in this regard, which is why almost every porn feature made in the last 25 years has a girl-on-girl scene.
As for your man, seck_cells, let's call him bi-curious and leave it at that...
But, I digress...
Homosexuality, or being gay, is about being sexually attracted to one's own gender exclusively. Bisexuality is about enjoying sexual contact and content involving either or both genders, in varying degrees. It does not necessarily suggest a preference for sex with either gender.
Here's where FireCrotch and I disagree: enjoying the feel of something in the anus is not a sign of homosexuality, latent or otherwise. We certainly do not consider the opposite to be true: two lesbians can have sex with a dildo, and are not considered closet heteros. It's the gay aspect that is considered against the grain. A man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum is simply that: a man who enjoys a butt plug or a finger up his bum. I like massage, and I don't care if they're male or female hands: if the touch feels good, it feels good.
I'm sorry if you misunderstood me Scotty (or anyone else) but I never said that enjoying anal pleasure is a sign of homosexuality. I agree with you here Scotty. Just ask Mrs. F_C about that one.
We men have chosen to make certain types of expression okay and not okay, just as it would be okay for me to throw my arms around my point guard after we win the championship, but not to walk off the court holding hands. It's sad, really.
Women, for the most part, are not shackled by as many hangups in this regard, which is why almost every porn feature made in the last 25 years has a girl-on-girl scene.
As for your man, seck_cells, let's call him bi-curious and leave it at that...
This post has been edited by Fire_Crotch: Tue Jan 04, 2011 02:03 PM
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 04:08 PM
Fire_Crotch, on Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:19 AM, said:
I've never ONCE had an urge to suck a dick...ever.
Heterosexual male here, I too have never had any urge to suck cock.
Some ass play is fine, although I have never experienced it nor I do think I ever will, but I would not consider someone who enjoys a prostate massage gay. The prostate releases semen, and if done properly, one can have an intense orgasm in the process. As for the cock sucking aspect of this thread, I do not believe that sucking cock makes a man gay, but I sure as hell wouldn't consider him straight either.
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Posted Tue Jan 04, 2011 04:20 PM
Fire_Crotch, on Tue Jan 04, 2011 12:19 AM, said:
She was misinformed, obviously! They might have SAID they're heterosexual, but that's not heterosexual behavior IMO. I've never ONCE had an urge to suck a dick...ever. IMO, if you have urges to suck a dick, you're bisexual...you just may or may not be afraid to act on that urge. Just my opinion, though.i agree.
back to the op, he isnt gay because he enjoys anal with you... hes gay because he like fucking dudes.
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Posted Wed Jan 05, 2011 04:07 AM
Found this post this morning, seck_cells:
"I simply adore sucking cocks...to all outward appearances I'm a straight masculine middle-aged happily married man but 2 or 3 times a week I'm cruising the local highway rest areas for hard cocks to suck. God...I love having some anonymous stud dumping his warm creamy load in my mouth...I'm a real pig for cum & will gladly suck off anyone who needs his balls drained...young,old, fat, black, white...whoever...dropping to my knees with my mouth hanging open before a total stranger is just something I love to do....:drooling:"
As you can see, this man believes himself to appear like a garden-variety hetero, living a double life. It's curious why people have such a problem acknowledging their bisexuality. If he enjoys sex with his wife, and enjoys sucking off men, this is a bisexual existence- period.
In the case of your man, he's certainly bi-curious, but you say he hasn't really acted upon it. Is that because of your discomfort, or is he hesitant?
"I simply adore sucking cocks...to all outward appearances I'm a straight masculine middle-aged happily married man but 2 or 3 times a week I'm cruising the local highway rest areas for hard cocks to suck. God...I love having some anonymous stud dumping his warm creamy load in my mouth...I'm a real pig for cum & will gladly suck off anyone who needs his balls drained...young,old, fat, black, white...whoever...dropping to my knees with my mouth hanging open before a total stranger is just something I love to do....:drooling:"
As you can see, this man believes himself to appear like a garden-variety hetero, living a double life. It's curious why people have such a problem acknowledging their bisexuality. If he enjoys sex with his wife, and enjoys sucking off men, this is a bisexual existence- period.
In the case of your man, he's certainly bi-curious, but you say he hasn't really acted upon it. Is that because of your discomfort, or is he hesitant?
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Posted Wed Jan 05, 2011 11:33 AM
Liking ass play doesn't make him gay. Wanting to suck a dick should be a concern, especially if it's something that you are not and never would be into at all. Might be best to let him get that out of his system and see if it's something he wants to keep doing or not. Could be a problem down the road. If he thinks he can't cum without something up his ass, what happens when he can't do it without a cock in his mouth? I'm half joking but these are things you don't want to have to deal with when things are more serious or committed right? Just the fact that he believes he can't have an orgasm without ass stimulation and you aren't always into doing that for him can become an issue unless you can figure out a compromise of some sort
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