prefer masterbation to sex
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:58 AM
I can't hurt his feelings by telling him he sucks in bed but how can I hide that I prefer to stay home and masterbate than bother waste my time with him?
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:03 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:09 PM
Rather than say 'you suck' tell him that you would prefer it if he made an effort to last longer. If he cares about you having pleasure too, he'd understand and try.
Otherwise you can look forward to more sex that isn't good for you. If you hold out on him without telling him why, there is no telling what will end up happening, but I can pretty much say it won't be good.
My ex wasn't any good in bed (fast comer) and well, although I didn't tell him he wasn't good with THAT part, he sucked at the foreplay too. I was trying to work on that first, but he wasn't very conducive to it.
Eventually it got to where I didn't want to have sex either. We started fighting more and more and basically, every fight, no matter the subject, would come down to how much I wasn't f'cking him. Just an FYI. Not saying the same thing could happen, just giving you my story.
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:12 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:27 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:32 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 02:34 PM
in my experience men who normally don't last long at all can usually go for another round fairly soon after - you can work on foreplay in the mean time to keep you turned on and get him going again - and usually each consecutive time lasts at least a little longer than the previous one - and hey multiple rounds of sex are good for most everyone
there are also desensitizing condoms that maybe he could put on himself so you don't set him off by doing it and other toys and tricks that can slow him down as well - but you should talk to him gently and tell him that this is something you want to work on - just try not to use negative words as i also can tell you that hurt emotions kill the sex life of a relationship more effectively than just about anything i've experienced - so tread lightly
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 04:30 PM
Anyway without me saying or implying anything he feels he has to justify all that obviously cause he mentions how stressed he is at work etc excuses. And I think I'm giving up on him; why try to work on the sex life when his job is first priority, doesn't give a damn about my pleasure so it's like 'why bother' again. I don't know, ppl, maybe I'm the worst bitch ever for seing the time with him as wasted.
And ok masterbation makes me cum always and it helps me not cheat on him; after all experimenting with other men could get me some std or sth. I just have this feeling that it's not normal to prefer playing with yourself instead of having a partner..
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 04:30 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 04:53 PM
we dont need sex, i can go a day or two without it (maybe)
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 05:40 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 06:31 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 06:57 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 09:10 PM
I'd want to give up also from what you have described. One of the best ways to lose a great woman is to make no effort to satisfy her in the bedroom. Every guy knows that or should know that.
If you do eventually end up breaking up with him over this, do him a favor and tell him why. It will just happen again in any other relationship he gets in. Don't get emotional or sappy over it or anything, just let him know.
Right now, if I were in your shoes, I would probably withdraw from sex for awhile and wait until he asks you what is wrong. Then you can calmly and tactfully talk with him about it. Focus on your needs, not his shortcomings. It may be good also to take it one step at a time. Don't make him think everything is wrong all at the same time. Baby steps.
As noted, another option would be to just break up and lay it all on him and hope he learns something from it.
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 09:12 PM
Unless she is dating an 18 year old, I think most any guy over 20 can learn to last at least 10-15 minutes if not more. The exception would be true medical PE. And that is quite rare from what I understand.
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:08 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:11 PM
next time round is always longer.
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:40 PM
Posted Wed Jan 03, 2007 11:37 PM