Sentence: Monogamy for Life
Posted Tue Mar 22, 2011 08:52 PM
"Wow, I am so lucky that I found the love of my life, but it is a little scary that I am going to have sex with the same person for the rest of my life, that is if I don't want to cheat and I don't..."
Posted Tue Mar 22, 2011 09:26 PM
Posted Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:06 PM
I know, but after 6 months I can decide if I really want her or not.
When I try to decide that I always look at the relationship with the sex factor taken out, so if she is fun to be around even without the sex factor then she is a keeper.
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 01:57 PM
Her are some good things to think about. She truly cares about you. Loves you for who you are. Wants to know if you had a good day or not. If she sees you sad or depressed she will try to make it better for you.
None of these things apply with just a sexual encounter.
I think people that are in long relasonships wonder what it would be like to just run around having sex, And those that run around sex wonder what they are missing not being with a person that truly loves them
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 03:33 PM
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:48 PM
That is like so true, at least for me.
When I was fucking around I was musing about being with someone who loves me.
And when I am in a relationship when I am loved I muse about fucking around.
Posted Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:07 PM
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 08:44 AM
This is an anecdote I found that seemed to explain why men are sometimes so stupid as to go cheating and fooling around with other women while married. Read and take what you want from it.
«Years ago while in Washington, DC, I decided to take a late-evening dip in the whirlpool. When I slowly dropped my body into the mildly-hot water, I politely asked the lone figure in the tub how he was doing.
I wasn't quite prepared for the life story I got --- apparently he needed someone to talk to.
He proceeded to tell me (as I remember it):
- "I married the love of my life when we were in our mid-20s. We had both landed good jobs right out of college, and we were on our way."
- "We bought our dream home, and by the age of 30 we decided it was time to add to our family. Three children later --- first a boy and then two girls --- everything was great."
- "As we got busier with work and raising our children, my wife and I grew apart. I'm sure that she felt unappreciated by me, but I was especially stung by the fact that this woman who used to think the world of me now seemed to take me for granted."
- "Well, I travel a lot for work, and I wanted to again feel what it was like to be appreciated by a woman --- and it happened (with a co-worker). Sure, part of it was the sex, but even more was the feeling that someone enjoyed spending time with me and appreciated who I was. I missed that."
[As I said, I think he needed to talk.]
- "As you can probably guess, receiving appreciation (and sex) from another woman did not do anything to help my wife and me re-connect. I never could have envisioned on our wedding day that I would ever have been that distant from the love of my life."
- "Well, my wife eventually figured it out. Needless to say, her appreciation for me dipped even lower."
- "After the divorce, I was determined to stay close to the kids --- I wanted to stay in their lives. But the pain I had caused them began to rise to the surface. When I would pick them up in front of the house for 'our time,' it became more and more obvious that they didn't want to go with me. And the time we had together became more and more strained."
- "That was when I started to think that I would be doing them all a favor if I just let them move on with their lives without me. I ended up moving half way across the country."
- "The pain is with me every day. I missed their games. I missed helping them with their homework. I missed their parent teacher conferences. I missed teaching them to drive. I missed their first dates. I missed the first speeding tickets. I missed their proms. I missed seeing them each morning when they got up, and each night as they were getting ready for bed."
- "And the pain is always the worst around Christmas. My wife and I first met at a Christmas party, and Christmas season was always a special time for us. I miss that best friend."
- "Now all Christmas does is remind me of the pain and fractured history I produced."
This man then turned to me and said:
- "If you cherish your wife and your children, do whatever you can to protect that."
- "Make sure that you let your wife know how much you appreciate her in your life."
- "And don't be so proud (like I was) that you pretend that you don't need her appreciation. It may feel awkward (especially as a man, who has no doubt spent years being self-sufficient), but let her know how much her appreciation means to you."
- "Protect the history you have together. I had a history with my wife and my children. It wasn't always easy, but it was good --- and I destroyed it. Don't make the same mistakes I did."
I went to bed that night sad.
I also went to bed that night with a fresh resolve for the life I had chosen.
I am reminded of the quote from the movie "Shall We Dance":
"Why is it that people get married? Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet. What does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything --- the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things. All of it, all the time, everyday. You're saying, 'You're life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness."»
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 10:51 AM
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:45 AM
That thing you said about soul mates, I totally agree. Also I would like to thank you for that anecdote, it helped me "do the right thing", which is not to cheat.
I agree with you, the deeper connection is way batter than deeply penetrating some random sex encounter chick.
It's not a constant feeling, it pops up now and then, but I quickly shrug it off.
This post has been edited by Sex Invader: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:45 AM
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 07:41 PM
perfect answer...just perfect...
The first man I slept with eventually became my husband...I planned on sleeping with him for the rest of my life. Our sex had, and I hate to say it, settled into something beyond words...I kid you not. It was simply amazing. He's passed on and so of course I've lost that.
I just don't like to use the word settled, lol...makes it sound like it was bad and it was NOT!
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 08:45 PM
Posted Fri Mar 25, 2011 04:48 AM
Just wondering if the 'weird feeling' he's getting is being brought on by knowing in the back of his mind that he should propose to her.
Posted Fri Mar 25, 2011 07:22 AM