Chuck Norris "Facts" Post your favourite.
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 05:51 PM
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless telephone.
Chuck Norris doesnt Breathe he holds air hostage!!!
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasnt built up the courage to tell him yet
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He just stands there and dares the grass to grow.
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris can shoot an aeroplane out if the sky by pointing his finger at it and shouting BANG.
Chuck Norris daughter lost her virginity, he got it back
Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird
Chuck Norris doesnt have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, Horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack,his heart isn't foolish enough to attack him
Chuck Norris is why wally is hiding
Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass at night
When chuck Norris crosses the road cars look both ways
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Most people can swim through water, Chuck Norris can swim through land...
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account on his Playstation 3.
Chuck Norris can take a womans virginity twice.
Chuck Norris listen's to sign language songs on his Ipod.
Chuck Norris is the reason Steven Segal wears a pony tail.
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 07:16 PM
Here's a few of my faves...
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s shit.
Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Chuck Norris can and will at anytime touch, MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
OOh and here's a chuck norris fact for all.... A very true true fact maybe some of you didnt know....
Chuck was the "only" and i say "only" person ever to beat bruce lee in a Bout. Ok it was just a sparring bout but an overheard conversation caught bruce (not/never ever in public though) admitting being "just and only the once, got the better of" by chuck.
On top of that what was said, chuck himself would never even take full credit about it either. He always insisted "Come on, really, anyone can win a fight against, anyone else on any given day".... You just never know who's going to win, or who can beat you", Adding with a wink "Even when your only sparring"
Being as chuck was one of Bruce's most advanced students, he was one of the few people who had that kind of ability to rattle, possibly beat bruce. Chuck could kick far better than bruce, bruce knew this thats why bruce asked and got chuck to teach him the process, style/technique and art to himself. What a feeling that must of, or still is to chuck.
Also, 1 last thing. True too. There were lots of stories told, still being told of Bruce's other students just watching in shear amazement as chuck and bruce sparred.
The other students saying that, on many occassions Chuck was getting the better/best of Bruce who, didnt seem to have an answer back to chucks size/power/speed/kicks......
Hope you enjoyed....
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 08:30 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't own a watch. He decides what time it is.
The Dead Sea used to be the Living Sea until it offended Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ran an Olympic footrace backwards once, if only to see what second place looked like.
Christ walked on water. Chuck Norris swam through land.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of things Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Children are warned not to run with scissors. Scissors are warned not to run with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has never been sunburned. The sun wouldn't dare try it.
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
I love Chuck Norris facts
Posted Thu Mar 24, 2011 10:11 PM
Posted Fri Mar 25, 2011 09:19 PM
chuck will never have a heart attack cause his heart would never attack him.
Posted Fri Mar 25, 2011 11:31 PM
I think it was Chuck Norris himself, don't say otherwise or he'll fuck you up without even breaking a sweat.
Posted Sat Mar 26, 2011 12:58 AM
Posted Sat Mar 26, 2011 03:09 PM
It was just some random dude that started it, i think. Chuck Norris had absolutly nothing to do with it. He didnt even know that these facts were going on the web untill his manager or PA told him about it.
Posted Mon Mar 28, 2011 07:47 AM
so many chuck norris facts! i think all mine have been said...