need help so badly!
Posted Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:54 PM
It's so hard for me to admit this but i seriously think i have a sexual dysfunction. Almost everytime as soon as i'm hard i cum if i keep stimulating. I've cum before when i wasn't even hard. I seroiusly need help.
Is there anyone out there that has had a similar problem and if so, how did you fix it. I'm fucking 22 years old for god sake.
I should be hard for hours.
Please someone, if there is a book or a method or something........I seriously don't like this situation.
Posted Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:59 PM
I should be hard for hours.
That's a myth. Don't go putting unrealistic expectations on yourself.
Masturbate every day and see if that settles you down.
Also you said you cum if you keep stimulating. Well stop stimulating sometimes. Take breaks, relax, then start up again.
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:10 AM
if i could stay hard for 10 min i'd be happy. When i get head or whatever the girl doesn't usually start and stop like i would if i was trying to prolong myself. They just go at it and then i bust prematures and feel like shit.
I had this chick once sliding me in and when i was half way in i busted, OMG i was so ashamed......
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:14 AM
Oh and here's something else. Why won't a girl stop when she's giving you a blowjob if you want her to? She is not out of control of herself. Tell here what you like. Communicate with her. If you want her to slow down, take breaks, mix it up, just tell her.
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 03:10 AM
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 08:57 PM
Big gave some really sound advice. She's not only a sexy lady, but also a very smart one, as well!
Don’t let your penis be the center of your sexual universe. Great sex isn’t penis-centered and neither are great lovers.
You see, a great lover isn’t someone who always does it right, has a gigantic penis, is always in the mood, can raise an erection on demand, can maintain an erection for 5 hours straight, and has the endurance of a marathon champion. Instead, a great lover is someone who is attentive, responsive, and creative, who makes each lovemaking experience special and memorable, makes his lady feel sexy, loved, and desired, and makes sure his lady is satisfied every single time – with or without his penis. A great lover isn’t dependent upon only his penis to pleasure his partner.
There is so much more to sex than just genitals, intercourse, and orgasm. It involves total-body sensuality, intimacy, passion, affection, playfulness, eroticism, and a mutual give-and-take.
Sex that is all penis-centered all the time is a recipe for disaster for men, as it puts too much pressure on us and our penis to perform. You and your penis are human, not superhuman! When you stop having, viewing, and thinking of sex in this penis-centered manner, and instead adopt a total-body perspective of sex, you are much less likely to experience anxiety over our most common penis related issues such as penis size, performance anxiety, stamina, and loss of erection.
That’s not to say that there are never real problems that need to be addressed by a doctor or sex therapist, but just that most of the common anxieties we experience can be avoided by merely adopting a new perspective of sex.
Great stamina during sex isn't nearly as important as most of us guys think it is. I don't really believe that every woman wants a man who can have intercourse for hours on end (there may be a few). Intercourse can become irritable, uncomfortable, or even painful after awhile for most vaginas.
So how long should you last during intercourse? Well, throw away your stopwatch. Time is not an issue, here. However long it takes to satisfy both partners is the answer. If you last for 3 minutes before you orgasm, but you are both happy with that, then where is the problem? There is only a problem if she isn't satisfied after you orgasm, whether that's 3 minutes into it, or 3 hours into it, and ONLY if you stop making love at that point, when you ejaculate. Remember, sex doesn’t end at the male ejaculation!
So if you last 3 minutes and she is not yet satisfied, don't feel like a failure. Instead, you can now focus completely on HER pleasure. Using your penis is NOT the only way to satisfy a lady. Trying to make love with only a penis is like trying to write calligraphy with a thick crayon. In time, with some practice, you'll last longer. In the meantime, learn to pleasure her in other ways and then it won't matter how long you last with your penis at all. If you learn to use all of your body to please your lady, rather than just your penis – if you give her great orgasms before your penis ever enters the picture, then she probably won’t care if you don’t last long. This will take a lot of pressure off of you and I think you’ll find your penis will actually “perform” better just for that reason.
I hope that helps!
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 09:02 PM
I have found that most YOUNG men cum faster! Some stay hard longer as they age, and some never stop being Quick Draw McGraw! If 'techniques' work, like 'masturbation daily' as mentioned, well then I believe you'd be one for the books! Apex, you're not 'disfunctional', you're an average young man. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 09:20 PM
A cock ring holds the blood in the penis so it stays hard longer. as long as you leave it on the penis. It will stay hard even when you cumm and after you cum.
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 09:29 PM
Posted Wed Jan 10, 2007 09:41 PM
practice makes PERFECT
Posted Thu Jan 11, 2007 09:07 AM
If its that bad, which it sounds like it is, then see a doctor! If its affecting your self esteem and confidence and even your self-identity, a psychologist can help you work on these things while you get treatment.
Don't just pass it off as nothing. Some things can be fixed on your own, but not always.
Good luck man
Posted Thu Jan 11, 2007 04:31 PM
Have you a steady girlfriend, OP? Have you ever had a steady girlfriend?
If not, then I recommend you get one, and then if it's still like that after a few weeks, then start to think about going to the doctor!
Get her to make you come (5 seconds, apparently?), and then start making love together.
It's perfectly normal only to last until you're half way in when you lose your virginity. That's not premature ejaculation (at least, not the sort that you should be worrying about!)
Posted Thu Jan 11, 2007 04:33 PM
It's a confidence thing, perhaps? Take control in the bedroom, and then you will manage to take control of yourself.
Posted Thu Jan 11, 2007 05:21 PM
at your age, you are at your sexual peak...you are probably producing lots of semen. So...any wind that blows is enough to do it. Sit back and enjoy it and do not worry.
Posted Fri Jan 12, 2007 08:53 PM