Friends You Want, Who Don't Know You Want Them
Posted Tue Apr 26, 2011 02:25 AM
Posted Tue Apr 26, 2011 04:38 AM
Posted Tue Apr 26, 2011 05:20 AM
Posted Tue Apr 26, 2011 07:15 AM
Posted Tue Apr 26, 2011 07:17 AM
Even if I felt I wanted someone, I wouldn't tell him. Really, I don't see the point if they haven't notice me in the first place.
Posted Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:08 PM
Besides, to return to the title of this thread, if the person in question is a friend, there is nothing I want between us that isn't mutual. I usually know whether someone appeals to me sexually the first day I meet someone. If they can't tell if we'd have enjoyable sex, there is nothing to say.
Sex is a mode of expression between two people. The attraction can be mainly physical, and great sex can certainly begin with such an attraction. A sexual relationship can also grow over time, from a friendship based on other aspects of who we are.
Call it ego, call it having 'no game', but I don't campaign for sex. I'm a tactile person, so touching is a big part of how I relate to people- workmates, strangers, children- whomever is okay with touching is gonna get touched. The way a woman responds when I touch her, and what I feel when she touches me, tells me what I need to know about our sexual interest. If I were to say anything verbal, it would only be pointing out the obvious:
"you do know what I'm feeling right now, don't you?"
And I would say something like this only if she seems a bit unsure. This would give her the opportunity to clearly state whether she is comfortable with where things are going. If she is not comfortable, I will not bring up the subject again- ever. I made my feelings clear; we will stay on a purely platonic level until she returns to the subject, to amend her previous statement.
But, simply put, I do not want anyone who doesn't want me. Period. She can be very attractive, and we can be friends, but for me there is one inescapable truth:
A woman who needs to be begged or goaded or coerced into having sex
needs somebody else....