Under what circumstances, if any, would you cheat?
Posted Mon Jan 22, 2007 06:48 PM
What about ya'll? What if you reconnected with a girl/guy from highschool you ALWAYS wanted and couldn't get, until now? Or your favorite celebrity wanted to hook up?
Under what circumstances would you cheat or have you cheated? What would be the cause/what was the cause when you cheated?
Posted Mon Jan 22, 2007 06:53 PM
Posted Mon Jan 22, 2007 06:58 PM
No but seriously, I had done it once in my past and it completely changed my way of thinking. No circumstances. I'd rather just be up front with my SO and either agree to be open or end it. In the long run, there is a lot less pain with honesty.
Posted Mon Jan 22, 2007 09:12 PM
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:30 AM
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:39 AM
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 01:27 AM
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 07:53 AM
I didn't sleep well that night. I felt betrayed too. Barry had lied to us both. The next morning he called me. He wanted to know if he left her, would I marry him!! I was thankfully smart enough to know better than that! I quit the job and never spoke to him again. About 4 months ago he contacted me through Classmates.com Looks like he STILL hasn't changed. But that single experience definitely changed ME!
During an unhappy and terminally lonely 15 year marriage to my sons' father, I had oral sex with someone (cheating). I was so drunk that I barely remembered it. Loneliness, added to drunken inhibitions, equalled CHEATING. Of course, shortly afterwards, I got the smarts to divorce him, which was when I found out my husband had been cheating on me with my best friend, other women, and men, throughout my entire marriage to him!
Now, I am in a happy marriage. We have an open marriage. It's not always easy... we're experimenting, at best, but I am so much happier living in this arrangement. Sometimes we swing as a couple, and sometimes we date as singles. But at least NO ONE is living a lie! I'm sure that many can judge us, but it is, what it is, and so far, it's working. 6 years and counting!
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 08:18 AM
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 01:03 PM
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 01:47 PM
what do u all think i should do
First of all, to SF.com!
Secondly, when you have a question that doesn't relate to the original thread starter, go to the Forum that best fits your question (in this case it would be the Relationship Forum) and click ''New Thread''. Then ask your question. Otherwise you're "hijacking" this thread starter's thread.
My answer to your question here: if you can even feel that you've fallen in love with someone else, definitely break up with your girlfriend... whether you get the other girl, or not.
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 01:58 PM
what do u all think i should do
Your in love with your gf and your falling in love with another girl? She lost her virginity to YOU. Think about everything she ever did for you. Then its up to you to decide. If i were I'd personally stop talking to the 'new' girl and concentrate on my own girlfriend. But its really up to you.. If you like the new girl better you should split up with your gf. Just think it through, because maybe the choice you feel is right now could be different later on.
Welcome to SF btw!
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 04:20 PM
I did have an ex tell me that he cheated on me when I found some pantyhose in his room. Turns out that he didn't cheat on me, but that the pantyhose were his and he just was too embarassed to tell me. Hopefully he is a litte more comfortable with that side of his sexuality now that he doesn't have to lie about it.
Posted Tue Jan 23, 2007 04:57 PM
having a threesome is NOT cheating.
Posted Wed Jan 24, 2007 11:28 AM
Posted Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:31 PM
It was about 10 years ago and we both were in college. She was living with a co-worker because her father kicked her out because he thought she was whoring around when she was spending time with me. Sounds stupid, but that's how he thought. Anyway, the girl I was with was extremely jealous and paranoid. What made it worse was we both worked at the same restaurant which was a haven for promiscuity. Even worse than that, I was her boss and typically when you're the boss at a restaurant, the females pay you more attention. At any rate, every time a female would talk to me, she would flip out. It wasn't like that from the beginning, but it gradually progressed (or regressed) into her freaking out and throwing temper tantrums, even on the job. Finally, I had enough and attempted to break up with her, but she threatened to kill herself. I ignored the threat, but she really tried to kill herself by slicing her wrists. I couldn't let her kill herself so I didn't break up, but after that, things just got progressively worse. I also felt guilty because it was sort of because of me that her father kicked her out.
She wouldn't allow me to hang out with my friends or participate any kind of activity that didn't involve her. I had to see her seemingly 24/7. In addition, I was her only transportation. I had to pick her up, take her to work, take her to school, take her shopping, take her home. I had no time for myself. Keep in mind that I had a full-time job and went to school full time. I had no time to study. If she had a bad day, she would take it out on me; even blame me for things I had absolutely nothing to do with. She would embarass me in public if she THOUGHT a female was looking at me because I have to be causing it, right? One time, she yelled at a clerk in Longs Drugs because she said, "Hi" to me and not her. This type of behavior became typical.
I know this sounds sissified, but she would hit me if I did something she didn't like or approve of. It wouldn't hurt as she was half my size, but still. That shows an extreme lack of respect and I couldn't hit her back because I would have probably killed her. While driving, if I let someone cut in front of me, she would yell at me. Can you belive that? Anyway, every time I tried to break up, she would flip out and and try to kill herself. If not slicing her wrists, banging her head on the ground or attempting to jump out of a moving car. I ended up hating her, but I couldn't end the relationship because of my guilt and her insanity.
Well, one day I picked her up from work to take her home. She had a really bad day at work and wanted me to sit and listen to the whole story. I had to be in class in 20 minutes and the college is across town, but she wouldn't let me leave. I ended up missing half my class for her stupid ass so she could vent. I was so angry that by the time I got to school, my eyes were red and watering. It was during the break when I showed up for night class. A lady friend of mine that was in the class asked me, "What's wrong? You look like you've been crying." I told her what happened and we talked for a bit and it went from there. We started dating and hanging out on the side even though she knew that I was in a relationship. She was a wonderful girl. Smart, pretty, funny, tall AND she was Vietnamese.
I screwed up with her. I promised her that I would break up with my crazy current at the time to be with her, but I couldn't do it. I was also afraid that she would get hurt by my crazy girlfriend if she found out. That something I regret to this day. She told me, "I can take care of myself", but I was so afraid that she would get hurt. If my crazy current found out I was seeing another woman, I really think she would have tried to kill her... and probably me.
I still wonder what could have been if I somehow ended the relationship then to be with Kim. At the time, I felt I lost my opportunity to be happy. But yeah, that's why I cheated. So I could feel happy again...and I did while I was with Kim. Sorry for going on about this.
Posted Wed Jan 24, 2007 01:55 PM