Working past social conditioning
Posted Wed May 18, 2011 06:57 PM
Posted Wed May 18, 2011 11:18 PM
Other than that, our values and beliefs are confronted every day with opposing ideas, which will either slowly over time erode the strength of those beliefs and values or force us to prop up those beliefs. For those of us that allow our beliefs and values to be eroded, we become more receptive to the views of others. And obviously, for those of us that prop up our values, we become less to receptive. This is true of everything, not just attitudes and values towards sex.
Posted Wed May 18, 2011 11:41 PM
Our attitudes toward religion, politics and social propriety were usually molded by what we were told or what we heard and observed; attitudes about sex (in America, anyway) were molded more by what wasn't said or displayed....
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 01:09 AM
The bit that interests me right now is sexual behaviour. Obviously it's only in recent years that homosexuality has started to gain acceptance within modern society as being normal behaviour, but lets face it we've still got a long way to go, it was only in 2007 that anal and oral sex became legalised within Singapore (the ban still being in effect for same sex couples), pornography is still effectively banned in Australia (though the law isn't strongly enforced). I myself have no idea how much of my sexual hangups are a result of social conditioning and I really have no way of knowing for certain.
The problem is that as much as we may question our own values and ideals, there's always going to be small subtle things that we don't even think to question. Not because we're not critically minded people but because nothing ever prompted us to reconsider.
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 06:22 AM
I was lucky enough to be raised in a home that was very open minded.
We all have human urges and a wide variety of fetishes, likes, etc... what happens when a person is told over and over that they are 'wrong' for feelings that are perfectly natural?
I think that besides the repression of critical thinking, an overly restrictive upbringing can also bring about feelings of guilt and insecurity and make self acceptance much more difficult.
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 06:27 AM
Once I was out on my own, it became much easier to express myself, understand myself and develop uninhibited. I was, and am, lucky enough to have a curious girlfriend. Her family was a bit rowdier than mine, sex was accepted, parents did drugs too. Her mom was trying to get her to dump me after three months, because men are like cars, you should test drive a lot of them before buying one........ ya.. lol
Four years later, i'm a complete deviant, my sexual preferences are so outrageous that I can't even really share my experiences with people I know.. because they aren't socially or sexually liberated, as I consider myself. Even my girl has issues with this sometimes. I have few boundaries, i'm adverse to the slew of phrases associated with homosexuality.. I don't like the labels and the fact that people worry "does this make me gay!?". Find comfort within yourself, and hopefully your partner(s) in life will share your interests, or at least grow into them as a relationship progresses. I feel that having someone else is vital to this sexual liberation, it's a difficult thing to do on your own without any type of support. I can't say some things don't make me uncomfortable to speak about, but its only because people feel the need to judge and assume.
I hate society. Really do. Happy to see the brainwashing is wearing off and people are becoming more accepting towards alternate lifestyles.
I forget the psych term, but people are born basically with the instincts to do anything that will bring them pleasure. A human who develops outside of human contact will seek sexual affiliation with basically anything that moves, by instinct. If it was a story of Adam and Steve, they'd have sex all alone out there. Amy and Eve too. If society didn't tell people what to do, the words wouldn't exist for homosexuality, rights and wrongs wouldn't become barriers to development. Missionary is right, between a man and a woman, when they want to make a baby. Group bisexual orgies are wrong because... ???? you tell me...
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 08:04 AM
This post has been edited by Olive: Thu May 19, 2011 08:05 AM
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 08:04 AM
I don't think I've ever rejected the values I acquired from my parents, the nuns at school, or the jesuists in college... If at all, they have become more entrenched. It's become so simple over the years... Work hard, keep your place clean and value education; treat everyone with respect no matter their background; and raise your voice whenever you face an unfair situation even if it's not you who's affected.
I don't think I've ever had any hungups with guilt about my behaviour. Yes, I've made mistakes, but I do reflect upon them. Still, I'm happy with the life I've had... I've learned a lot and I am grateful.
This post has been edited by Olive: Thu May 19, 2011 08:16 AM
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 09:00 AM
When I started reading factual books on sex it was to improve my ability and become a better lover. However, the more I read the less I was concerned about boundaries. I soon began to read anything that had to do with sex, bodies, or human sexuality. It seemed like the step I should have taken years ago. I too dislike labels and wish they would do away as they are pointless. The understanding and knowledge I have gained from my sexuality readings has been great for me.
the majority of people whether they know it or not are bound by social contract A subject I studied heavily during my undergrad and you can read about social contract theory here
Social Contract Theory
The current stalwart of sexual evolution is passed down fears, beliefs, and ideals that repress the teaching of individual exploration and the resulting personal sexual evolution it would produce. individuals are forced by guilt or fear of being labeled to dream instead of experiencing ultimately dying with never knowing.
I am of what would be classified as an "alternative faith" a decision I made based on my research. As a child I had to do the communion, go through confirmation, read the bible, follow the herd every sunday and was taught never to question, only believe and understand. I had problems during confirmation because I was always asking the wrong questions apparently. but as my education went on and I began to study art history I realized an important trend. Any time in history when the evolutionary being has reached an impasse that its brain cannot provide a logical answer, it is then we see the introduction of a new deity(ies) or new religion. what started this personal revelation was the study of predynastic egyptian civilization and the study of Min, Sekhmet & Mut-Isis-Nekhbet. I believe that an individuals faith is their own sacrament not to be pushed onto others. Later I developed a vast confusion of if all our organized religions preach peace and tolerance why were they coming to my house and not accepting me for my individual belief?
I would love to see our species evolve past all sexual hangups and be united in universal acceptance of our sexuality.
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 11:24 AM
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 01:37 PM
I didn't have the internet at my house until 95 or 96 when I was 8 years old. I can remember when I got older and more adept with the internet and how I felt like I had access to information on everything and how amazing it seemed. My little brother was born in 2001 and he has grown up with computers and the internet in a different way then previous generations have. To him the internet is a natural and important part of his life. I think future generations comfort with the internet will change the world's collective consciousness forever.
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 03:54 PM
I forget the psych term, but people are born basically with the instincts to do anything that will bring them pleasure.
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 04:27 PM
Posted Sat May 21, 2011 05:29 PM
Posted Sat May 21, 2011 05:56 PM
I read it... And guess what... So predictable. Again, the sample is purely American, yet the results are extended to every corner of the world and possibly the galaxy. This type of research is stuck in the heyday of Star Trek, when Captain Kirk could boldly go where no man had gone before, and yet found every single alien species speaking in English.
I didn't grow up in North America, I never understood Victorian values, I've talked about this before. All my aunts go to church and pray, yet they talk freely and joyfully about men and sex. I just don't get it.
This post has been edited by Olive: Sat May 21, 2011 05:57 PM