Getting up the courage First time nerves
Posted Thu May 19, 2011 07:13 PM
I was wondering if anyone else has gone through the same sorts of problems and how you managed to get over the nerves.
Part of the problem is that I have really bad anxiety and depression so my self-esteem is really low. I was also brought up in a really religious environment and I just cant shake feeling guilty about just wanting to, much less actually doing it.
So for those guys who had issues with nerves the first time, how did you get over them? Did you enjoy it enough that it made overcoming the dread worth it? Would you change anything about it? Once you did it once, did you find it easier to do it again?
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 01:14 AM
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 11:15 AM
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 11:43 AM
I do on occasion get involved with a little man on man action. It's only really been in the last year that I got back into it again. The first time was with a guy that I met on CraigsList, and then I met a guy on xMatch and we met in a motel. The next time will soon be with a guy I met here on SF. We have been chatting for over year and he is finally going to be in the area at the same time that I have some free time as well.
While I am sure it would be easier to try it out with someone you know be careful who you approach. Your friends my not be too receptive to any advances. You need to know their attitude about it well before your broach the subject. I would suggest that you find someone new that you can trust and let them do the work first. Let them start by giving you a HJ and then maybe let them blow you for a bit. Then while you are excited and before you start to cum you can use your hands to start touching them and giving them a hand job when you are comfortable. Then move towards giving your first blow job.
You need to trust the person to only do what you are willing to do and not force you into anything. If you don't want to swallow then you need to tell the guy, same with having anal performed on you. Make sure you discuss what you want and don't want before hand.
As for getting over it... That is different for everyone, and it depends on you. I know that while I am involved with the guy I am just feeling turned on. Afterwards I might have some second thoughts as to what I did but they normally pass. You will never know how you are going to handle it until you have tried it.
Posted Fri May 20, 2011 04:44 PM
I've had people tell me that I should just go to a gay bar and try to h/u with someone, but for multiple reasons I think that is a stupid idea. I want to know the person at least somewhat before, even if it is only a little while. I agree totally that I need to find someone who is willing to not rush into anything so that it would help me become more comfortable. I've met a couple local guys online that I think would fit the profile, but I just can't seem to actually bring myself to meet up with them, even casually. At some point, I figure that I will just have to just overpower my own reservations because I feel like if I don't then I will never be able to conquer my fears.
Posted Thu Jun 09, 2011 02:46 AM
Posted Wed Jun 15, 2011 07:56 PM
My first experience ever was group solo masturbation during "sleepovers" when I was an early teenager. Eventually, one of the guys and I started fooling around by ourselves in the hot summer. Neither of us were brave enough to pull down our pants, so we sort of took each other in our respective mouths through clothes. Seems downright silly to me now, but then, I'm pretty sure we were just hornier than hell teenage boys.
Still, that experience, or lack thereof, has lingered a bit, and I have the same issue with nerves.
I had two other opportunities since then, but fear drove me away, either pissing off or otherwise disappointing each guy, which is only yet another reason to feel some guilt.
I swear you'd think I was raised a Catholic (with no offense intended at all to Catholics!)