A Question for lady's and men...
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 04:04 AM
I have Known my Other for 23 years and i love and care for her so very much... Things have been really hard for us to the point i thought she has cheated on me but can't prove it but yet i still love her so very much... I feel like a little boy when i'm around her and i always think of her know matter were i am... I know she loves be but i don't think she is in-love with me and i sense that when i asked questions about us she sweeps it under the carpet of doesn't talk about it... As mush as i want to walk away or just do my own thing i find it hard coz in my brain i still want to be with her and stuff stuff with her and i still feel i always get the cold shoulder and it upsets me... I know from a chat site that alot of guys love chatting to her and i have to be on there to to see what there saying... I just don't know how to go about breaking away from it all i used to do gym and i was looking really fit now i don't want to do that coz i just spend time on the computer in chat rooms... I hope this makes sense...
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 04:26 AM
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 05:31 AM
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 07:53 AM
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 08:57 PM
Well i'm on line when she is so all good there.. But going to bed at 12 every night is killing me and i'm tired all the time... I think she gets on to pass the time and thats it.. She is going through a hard time with her mum in hospital and alot of other shit in her head.. It's kind of hard as i love her so very much to the point will i would give my life to save hers if it came to it... I just wished she knew how much i love her thats all but i don't know.. We used to be so close and i knew her like a 500 page book but now i know her like a 5 page book... For me it's not about the sex it's everything that leads up to it like touching kissing chatting being funny and when sex happens it's so hot.. I think she goes on line to chat about her problem it's easy to talk to a stranger than talking to me about them i guess...
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 09:03 PM
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 10:53 PM
Posted Sat May 28, 2011 11:01 PM
Maintaining balance in a relationship, especially one this long, is a tough thing to do. The chatrooms are just filling a space that is no longer taken up, you need to refill that space. Forget about the computer, don't wait until midnight, just take your wife by the hand and go make passionate love with her. Remind her what chatting on the computer will never be able to replace.
Posted Sun May 29, 2011 02:35 AM
Posted Sat Jun 04, 2011 05:06 PM
Posted Sat Jun 04, 2011 06:39 PM
However, at this point, I think you will need to apply a bit of shock treatment. I don't know how feasible this is, and I know it may be a bit of a painful for you to do. I don't know what you do for a living, but if you could just give her some space, and let her talk to any man she wants to online, it would help to at least create a certain space where she can miss you if that is possible.
I'd suggest that you could just go away over the weekends somewhere... I don't know, take your kids camping, or fishing or something... Leave her alone for a good number of weeks, and that is every weekend if you can. I know this sounds counterintuitively, but I think sometimes you have to pull away from someone's life to be appreciated.
Posted Fri Jun 17, 2011 06:08 PM
But thanks guys for your help ready in this part of the forum is great i see so many caring people on here...
Anyway tc all bye..
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:28 AM
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 01:18 AM
In the posts above i noticed that you mentioned on line chat rooms - i am guessing RHP or AMM. I was wondering if you are both listed as singles or a couple there and if you extablished boundaries with your wife before you joined? It must be horrible to have a chat room full of men perving on your wife... and her playing up to that. And if you are sure that she has hooked up with men on line, is she being safe???
What about yourself?? I mean i know you have said you love your wife and do not want to love anyone else - and that is fantastic - but what about sexually?? I am guessing this is another area of your marriage in which you are unhappy.
Have you considered the prospect of an open marriage - where you may continue your 23 yr "friendship" and continue living together for the sake of your children but where you also both have the freedom to explore other sexual options?
At the end of the day - it sounds like you are both unhappy - she retreats to on line chat to make her feel good about herself, and you are plain miserable and mourn the wife you married.
I think you both need to re evaluate your current situation and discuss alternatives with your wife - such as the open marriage thing, swinging, thresomes etc - there may be one (or a combination of things ) that can satisfy you both!
Life is way to short to resign yourself to misery at the hand of your wife - that is NOT love.
Finally - as harsh as it is - here is what I would do...... LEAVE THE BITCH. Harsh i know - and perhaps this doesn't work for you - so how about just enjoy the friendship at home and fuck elsewhere???
I wish you the best of luck and cannot wait for an update on your situation
Posted Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:28 AM
Posted Wed Jun 29, 2011 04:11 AM
Posted Wed Jun 29, 2011 08:40 AM
If that's the decision you're going with then at least get her to read this comment thread. Print it out and ask her to read it, just so that she gets a clear understanding of how you feel... about her, about your relationship and about it all falling apart. Sometimes it takes holding something in your hand and reading it to really hit home. It's a good way for her to learn about this without the ambiguity, stress and communication stuff ups that happen when talking about a messy and stressful situation.
You've got to be feeling absolutely terrible and you probably will continue to do so... But never think that this is permanent. Nothing is. Be ready for it to get better or worse... but most of all, concentrate on your own agency... Do things, anything, get out of the house and stay active.
Good luck and take care.
Posted Tue Jul 05, 2011 06:49 AM